Getting my kids back from permanent Foster care

[Fightingmumma]

Hi. I want to apply to get my kids out of permanent Foster care and home to me. I've been released as healthy and healed from mental health... Which was why they were taken in 2016, I had an emotional breakdown and turned to drugs but I'm a completely healed person now. I also passed 100% a 6 month drug hair test.

However the local authority now argues that I'm emotionally dangerous to my kids, that I'm immature (I'm 50 but very youthful and still go to rock concerts etc) don't have employment (not yet) or a place to live big enough for my kids and they've turned my kids against me by making my kids think I'm crazy. My two oldest 14 and 16 don't want to come home to me now and barely ever talk to me or show up to contact and they are rude to me alot. It didn't used to be this way, we were close and loving until my contact was reduced so much and they turned my kids against me.

The youngest is 11 and he wants to come home.

So do I stand a chance?
They have no reason to keep me from having my kids other than them saying I'm no good for them and they have better lives now. How is this OK??

They are MY kids!
Please help or advise me?

[Conshay123]

hi,sorry to hear your story,mine is similar and i am wanting to know the same,my son is 12,i just want to say good luck with this and if you manage to get more visits even then would you let me know how you done that.....sory iv got no advice apart from stay strong and dont let them beat you....

[QuestionMark]

You can get half an hour free with solicitors - try talking to a few and see what they make of this? They may have some good advice

[Conshay123]

thankyou mark this is very useful

[XxbristolxX2019]

Hi, I’ve just finished a 12day fact finding about my baby being shaken. SS submission was that I am lying for my x partner. And that my mum is covering for me. This ain’t the truth. I’m so scared of what the judgement is going to be.... I found out Friday. The Gaurdian said to the judge she doesn’t believe my mum shouldn’t be left in the pool. Will the judge listen to her wishes. My baby is in foster care and my other daughter is with family. If my mum comes out the pool Friday will they bring the baby back out of foster care to place her with my mum? Please help

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi. I want to apply to get my kids out of permanent Foster care and home to me. I've been released as healthy and healed from mental health... Which was why they were taken in 2016, I had an emotional breakdown and turned to drugs but I'm a completely healed person now. I also passed 100% a 6 month drug hair test.

However the local authority now argues that I'm emotionally dangerous to my kids, that I'm immature (I'm 50 but very youthful and still go to rock concerts etc) don't have employment (not yet) or a place to live big enough for my kids and they've turned my kids against me by making my kids think I'm crazy. My two oldest 14 and 16 don't want to come home to me now and barely ever talk to me or show up to contact and they are rude to me alot. It didn't used to be this way, we were close and loving until my contact was reduced so much and they turned my kids against me.

The youngest is 11 and he wants to come home.

So do I stand a chance?
They have no reason to keep me from having my kids other than them saying I'm no good for them and they have better lives now. How is this OK??

They are MY kids!
Please help or advise me?

Dear Fightingmumma

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I am sorry that we have not been able to respond to you sooner. You have had some advice and support from other parents.

From what you say, I think that your three children have been in long-term foster care for about three years. It is really good to hear that you have made a good recovery from the difficulties you faced in relation to your mental health and drug misuse. I hope you have still got good support in place for yourself to help you keep up the changes you have made.

The care orders are intended to be in place until the children turn 18. They can be discharged and children returned home in some cases but only where the court agrees that there has been a real change in circumstances since the making of the order,that it is in the children’s best interests and having considered any current risk to them.

Children’s Services are not in agreement with them returning home and still have concerns about your ability to care for the children. This makes it unlikely that you would be successful. However, I don’t know if this is based on a recent assessment of you? Here is our advice sheet on reuniting children in the care system with their families which explains how a parent can ask for a child to be returned home and how to challenge if refused, which I think you will find useful.

At the moment, your time with the children has been reduced and the contact with your older two children is difficult. I am sorry to hear this. It is worth trying to look at ways of improving this, with their social worker and the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) . It sounds as if the relationship with your younger child is more positive. I hope you are invited to or consulted about the children’s looked after child reviews . This is the best forum to have your views heard and taken account of. This advice sheet on children’s services duties when children are in the care system tells you more about the planning and review process.

Good, regular contact between a child and their parent is a very important factor when the possibility of a child returning home is being considered and also for children's sense of belonging and identity. For now, I think that rebuilding or maintaining relationships with your children, and trying to improve or increase the arrangements for you and your children to be in touch or to see each other are key to moving forward.

Your 16 year old will be involved in pathway planning (you should be consulted about this) to show how they will be supported to become independent. This should also explore your child’s relationship with you and other family members so it is a good time to see if this can be improved. Your child’s wishes will be paramount here. If they don’t want to come home this would never be imposed upon them even if the situation was much improved. You can find out more about this in our advice sheet: support for children leaving the care sytem .

Questionmark has already suggested that you may be able to get a free half hour advice session with a solicitor.

I hope this helps. If you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser please ring the Freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366 Mon-Fri 9.30 – 3.00 pm.

With best wishes

Suzie