Father of my four children arrested for possession of indecent images

[Lookingforanswers]

Hi

I'm not sure if I'm posting in the right place but looking for help especially if anyone has been in the same situation.

Eleven months ago I found indecent images of children on my partners phone, I handed the phone to the police and he is still under investigation. I ended the relationship at this point and he has not had any access to our 4 children ages ranging from 8 months to 5 years old (1 boy and 3 girls). Upon my ex partners arrest Children's services came to see me, I had a glowing report from them saying that I was being a very protective mother and the children were happy and well looked after. They closed the case as they felt there was no need for any involvement at the time.

My Ex partner is now in the process of trying to get access to the children via the family courts. I believe the courts are waiting to hear the full outcome of the police investigation but I don't really know what happens in these cases. I obviously already know my ex was looking at prepubescent girls (mainly). As you can imagine I'm very concerned.

I have not had any more contact with Childrens services as CAFCASS have so far been preparing reports for the court. Do fathers who are charged with possession/making indecent images automatically get contact with their children? What involvement would children services have if my partner had contact? My children are all so young they barely remember their Dad now (up until the court ordered him to make indirect contact with them via letters recently) they had barely heard from him. Our youngest child has never even met her Dad. He wasn't a very involved father and therefore the children were very use to him not being around even before all this happened as we lived separately. When he stopped seeing the children they barely asked after him or acknowledged that he wasn't around. I am deeply sad and sorry to them that I picked such an awful father for them.

I am a loving and very caring mother and I want to keep my children safe, will Children's services help me?
If anyone has any experience of this I would love to hear from you.

Thanks for reading

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Lookingforanswers

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Board.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are feeling so sad and upset at the circumstances you find yourself in because of your ex-partner’s behaviour. I think you should remember that you can only be responsible for your own behaviour and not someone else’s. You did not know your ex-partner’s tendencies and taking account of the prompt action you took to safeguard your children, had you been aware of his likely future behaviour your choices may well have been different

You say you have had a glowing report from children services and you can take some comfort from that you are being the best mother you can be for your children.

Turning to your questions regarding contact, now that the matter is in court it will be for the judge, guided by the evidence from children’s services, Cafcass and you to make the final decision as to whether it is in your children’s interests to have contact with their father.

There is no automatic right for the children’s father to see them as contact is for the benefit of the child and the court will consider what is in their best interests before deciding that contact should take place.

Children services are unlikely to be involved in contact if the judge makes an order. Any involvement by children’s services would be sanctioned by the court. The court could say there should be supervised contact which can take place at a contact centre. There is usually a fee for this.

As your case is a private law case, this means that children services are not involved, you can contact Coram Children’s Legal Centre (Child Law Advice) on 0300 330 5480. This organisation can provide you with advice in respect of your case but only if you do not already have a solicitor representing you. You can look at their website here

Our service provides advice when children services is involved, please contact us again if children services becomes involved with you family and you need more advice relating to their involvement.

You may also contact the Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 100 0900, they offer advice to offenders and family where sex offences are involved. This is their website
.
I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Lookingforanswers]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you very much for your very useful reply. I have already been in contact with the Lucy Faithful Foundation and the other link you gave for Coram Children's Legal Centre looks really useful. I am currently representing myself in court as I do not have the money to instruct a solicitor.

I am very surprised that Children's Services will have no more involvement if my Ex partner gains access through the courts. I am finding it very difficult to find out what happens in these circumstances. My ex partner has been threatening me that he will get unsupervised access to the children a year down the line. The thought of this absolutely terrifies me, he continually lies and I know he will manipulate the children.

Thank you very much again for your help.

[Redjellybeans]

Hello,

I'm in a similar situation, I am about to pm you!