Social service engage in our life

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Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2017 7:15 am

Social service engage in our life

Post by Fa1987 » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:12 pm

before 5 month as a result of my wife just deliver my dautgher she was depression . and as a result we are both from abord and live in england since 5 years my wife miss her mum and her mum in bad health and no body help her in my wife home country expect her old dad in that time I was planing to divorce my wife and get married from other , so in that time i was in bad mod as a result my wife always ask me to go back to our country and i tierd from telling her i can not and if she want she will go by her own with my children i do not mind but i can not and i told her if she will go i will divorce and get married in that time my wife speak with her gp to referr her to psycho therapy . but the gp refer her to social worker and she has attend afew appointment with the social worker and they visit my little boy in the school when they visit him they ask him if we fight at home he said yes and we mean by fight no physical but just argu in high voice . my wife tell the social worker i some times shout on her and do not listen to her and want to married other wife and do not care about her this all was in 2 month delivery period when they ask my little boy he said yeah one time my dad and my mum fight after that my wife attend to social worker and said now we are ok and every thing sort out . but they still make appointment for her . yesterday they visit us to our home and tell me about all that infront of my wife then my wife start cry as a result in some thing they misunderstand her and she start to say to social worker we are ok now why u do that and i did not mean that any way they book appointment for my now in afew day . i do not know what they can do or if they can take the children away from me and their mum although i told u we mention every thing is ok now and even in the past our children is ok and away from our arugment . what should i do to solve this ?

can we stop them now from engage in our life

**name removed to protect identity

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Re: Social service engage in our life

Post by Emkins40 » Tue Jan 17, 2017 4:52 pm

I feel that your wife may need help more with her feelings after the birth of the baby. Social services can sometimes help get access for support. It must be hard in a new country with no close family to help. I think you should perhaps explain that you believe your wife is depressed and you need someone to help. If they see you are trying to help your wife they will leave you alone. I don't think this is too serious but just be nice to them they like to think they are doing good. If you argue they can get mean?

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Re: Social service engage in our life

Post by Fa1987 » Tue Jan 17, 2017 8:19 pm

Thank u emkins very much for ur reply
Ur reply realy help me and make me down
I do not know in our situation what social service could offer us

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Social service engage in our life

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jan 18, 2017 1:29 pm

Dear Fa1987,

Welcome to the Parents forum.

Emkins40 gave you helpful advice about cooperating with the social worker.

Children services are carrying out an assessment of your family after the GP made a referral to them.

An assessment will involve speaking to both you and your wife together and separately as well as seeing your son alone (which they have done). They may also want to speak to your son's GP and the school and any other professionals that might be able to provide information.
The assessment will look at your sons needs and your parenting ability. It will also look at your home and whether you have family and friend support. You should get a copy of the assessment.

Children services could help your wife access mental health support. But they may also be worried that your relationship might be domestically abusive. Your son reported that there was a lot of shouting between you.
The law says that if a child witnesses another person being ill-treated, this can also cause a child significant harm. So could your son be upset about what he is hearing or seeing?

If they do decide that there is domestic abuse, they may want you and your wife to attend courses and counselling.
To find out more about domestic violence and the effects on children you could contact Respect.

Will children services close their case?

As emkins40 says, by cooperating with the social worker and going on any course that is recommended, children services may decide that they do not need to be involved and close the case. Or they may offer your family help by a child in need plan .

But if the social worker thought it was dangerous for your son at home, they could consider other options such as holding a child protection conference or even ask that you move out of the family home or that you or mum do not spend time together in front of your son until you both have done any courses. But from your post, there was nothing to suggest that this is the case.

However, if this was suggested, I would advise that you seek legal advice, call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,


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