long term fostercare

[heartbroken49]

I want to know if i can get my daughter back, it was stated in court she had been alienated from me from her father and that according to his health records she couldn't be returned to him. (he ordered his own records, the social had them at the beginning in 2011 and when she was removed from me and given to him, but they never produced at court for the last 6 years) the records stated that he has depressive mental disorder, alcohol dependence and on morphine and numerous other medications for various serious health conditions

2011 He had told me he would gain custody and i wouldn't see her again, now shes living in long term foster care. The social had been hiding his health records and have been covering up.

they said she can't be returned to me because i have post traumatic stress and parenting limitations. i had done a parenting course however everything was done when she was living with her father and she was under his influence and control. so she says she wants to live with him and she doesn't feel safe with me (that's the result of alienation) since being removed from his care she is thriving and were having a better relationship but social say it's because shes with foster carers.

we saw a psychologist and she said yes she has been alienated by father however because i had an incident at my home with boyfreind who was drunk she has reason to be scared of me. this was beginning of 2016. she said if we have therapy it is successful

my barrister said if i agree to the foster care and care plan there will be a independent review officer and i can do the therapy and return to court and ask for the care order discharged

[Saraheve]

Hi how are you doing. I desperately want my son back from full time care, what is happening with your case now. Maybe we can give each outher hope if we get our kids back

[heartbroken49]

Hi Saraheve

i have always tried to work with social services and i have attended the freedom program, parenting sessions and family group conferences. It doesn't seem to matter what i do it's all a complete waste of time and it's all because they decided to believe the father and not me and then cover up their mistake of giving him custody.

The judges don't make a decision because they only hear what they are told by the so called professionals then they agree with their stupid plans

All the professionals back each other and write negative rubbish on their reports. Some of their favorite words are ''she has no insight to the emotional harm she does to her child' when in reality they themselves have caused my daughter emotional harm. for a start they asked her 7 times when she was only 4 years old ''who do you want to live with?'' then they gave her to her father whom i had told them he is a emotional abuser, pathological liar and control freak.

I know exactly what happened they railroaded me in court and none of the truth was said however some truths came out at the final hearing but again were pushed under the carpet and they carried on as usual getting what they want.

I feel very hurt and upset having my daughter removed from me and being blamed for things i haven't done and i will keep fighting until she's returned to my care because i believe she needs to be with her mother and i would have to be a really bad mother for her not to be.

Now that finally the father is out of the picture i can have the therapy and go back to court. I know that the social worker doesn't want this and is delaying matters, trying to reduce my contact, not adhering to court orders, dismissing anything i say, continually covering their mistakes, not helping progress. She has delayed the review where the independent reviewing officer will be. So i have booked the therapy myself.

My daughter is in long term foster care and they said that i cannot keep her safe and i have parenting limitations

What reasons have they stated as to why your child/children are in care?

[Saraheve]

The reasons why my son was taken into care was because of possible future harm as I was depressed and was not looking after myself or the housework. But my son was well looked after and he told them constantly he wants to be with me. They didn't give him a voice.
I miss him so much I was seeing him every 2 weeks supervised by a unfriendly women for a hour and a half. It is now being reduced, dispite evidence of great contact and I have addressed all concerns I also attend theraphy and parenting groups and have a cleaner. Yet they say they want to reduce contact as they want my son to settle in his placement. I'm not allowed to tell my son i want him home and I miss him every day. I can't even tell him that im fighting for him and will never give up on him as apparently this is emotional abuse.
Me to the contact meeting has been cancelled twice so I don't even know when im next going to see my son, I know they want to reduce it to 5 times a year and it's killing me inside. I have so much evidence that I have addressed all the changes and instead of being happy for me they seem pissed off that I am so determined for him to come home. I'm heavily pregnant and was told to forget about my son, how can I forget about him when my love oversplills for him and I miss him everyday. Hope the future is better for both of us we can't give up on our goal we have to fight for our children back and never give up.

[heartbroken49]

Dear Saraheve

You have my sympathy and i too miss my daughter so much i cry everyday it is also killing me. I been to court 12 times and everytime i try to get the supervised notes to use as evidence they withhold them and even when it was said in court since in foster care she's very well and her attitude changed dramatically from me and become a lot more affectionate and much more interaction. they avoid saying it's because she's no longer with her abusive father.

Have you got a solicitor? I have found that most of them back up what the social services say. they won't go against them. I got a barrister from the bar council pro bono London (free they are volunteers) you can apply online and they are much better than a solicitor

Keep all your evidence, I am going to see the independent reviewing officer and tell her about the social worker and how everything is
wrong and if she doesn't help me get progress then i will go through the complaints procedure with the social services. i am also getting some advice from ******and i am going to ask **** solicitors if i can sue the social services for being biased, against our human rights, their cover ups, etc
Surely if i can prove these then when i am back in court i can show the judge their mistakes and that my circumstances have changed and we have had therapy and our relationship is improving dramatically.

The social wanted the same for me they wanted me to have only 4 times a year supervised. i had to fight hard for my contact to stay at fortnightly intervals. They are heartless bastards and you can't trust anything they say. just pretend to work with them but meanwhile do everything you can to get your son back

carry on gathering evidence and if they tell you anything get it in writing if not tell them your writing this info down so you don't forget and to cover yourself as you have every right to

you need to have increased contact, see the independent reviewing officer, make complaint through the social services, contact MP****, apply to the court for a discharge of the care order. I been thinking about taking it to the newspapers and radio because they won't like it but it will bring attention that may get people on your side

keep strong, chat to me anytime as much as you like and have a cry don't keep it in, your not alone, never ever give up on your son as he needs you, but please take good care of yourself because if you don't you won't be able to care for him. Those # can cause women to have a nervous breakdown and then use that against you. they try to use everything against you and it can feel very personal but remember they do this to everyone. they are following guidelines and it's all fucked up the system is not reality and does not work.

Take care
xx
***moderated by Suzie as the content breaches our rule 9 because it "advertises and promote commercial products and services."
# moderated by Suzie as the content breaches our rule 9 because "it is ...obscene .."

[Saraheve]

Hi thanks for your reply. Unfortunately the iro agrees with ss that myou son seeing me fortnightly is to much. Even though me and my son feel it's not enough.
How did you manage to keep your contact to fortnightly, if they reduce it is will take it to court to apply for a freedom program. I will love to discharge my sons order as soon as I can, but they put my baby on child protection based on my son being in care, they admitted theirs no current concerns. So the fact that baby is on child protection I don't know if my case to discharge order would be successful. All this waiting and fighting, pain and joy when I see my son. Im not religious person but I prey everyday that my son is returned to me. But need to wait till right time till baby is off child protection and ss know I desperately want my son back so I have a feeling they will take a long time about it. Any advice. Thanks.

[Saraheve]

Sorry I didn't check my spelling before sending, I meant if ss reduce contact drastically I will go to court with as much evidence as I can to get a contact order as ss and people who work for them including my key worker, don't seem to be on me or my childs side.

[Saraheve]

How did you manage to keep your contact to fortnightly. Thanks x

[heartbroken49]

Hi. I had barrister and she argued that contact should remain the same that it's not in child's interest . Get the barrister as my case started to get better with her. I took her advise at court

Kind wishes
T

[Saraheve]

Hi did you use the barrister from bar council pro bono London, did you apply for a contact order, well done for your achievement, I wish the best for you in the future. X