Difficult situation

[carrotcake]

My kids are under an SGO and in court it was decided I should see them once a month. This was all going well until I began to stand up to my ex's financial abuse that he tried to continue long after I left him. My kids are with his sister and my first visit with my kids after I stood up to her brother she 'suggested' dropping my contact to every other month. I suspect this was an attempt to get me to back down with my ex. The problem I have, is that I want to report my ex to the police for sexual assaults against me during our relationship, but now I'm really worried that his sister may react by stopping my contact with my kids, or even by making something up, saying I've done something wrong. What can I do to protect myself against this if it were to happen? I was ready to go to the police but after this I'm nervous.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Historygirl 81,

I am sorry to hear that you are still having difficulties with contact. It is wrong that the your children's guardian is using this kind of pressure to influence decisions that you are making.

I understand from your earlier posts that the court granted you a contact order stating that you were to have contact once a month.

If the special guardian was to reduce your contact, without your agreement, then she would be in breach of the contact order.
You would then have a right to enforce the contact order by taking court proceedings. (Although you would need to try mediation with the guardian first).

To get detailed advice about how to take these steps, I suggest you contact Rights of Women or the Child law advice line. They both can give advice about private law matters.

In the meantime, I suggest you keep a diary and note down when the guardian made this comment. Did you ask her why she had suggested this? There may be a reason other than exerting pressure on you.


In respect of reporting the sexual assaults, I can see how difficult this might be without having the extra worry about your contact as well.
To help you report the assaults to the police, do you have anyone to support you?
If not, there are sexual violence advocates who will know the legal process and will be able to help you. To find out about support near where you live, you could contact Women’s Aid .
I hope this advice helps but please post again if you have any questions or for support from us or other posters.

Best wishes,

Suzie