Consequences of being falsely accussed

Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:35 am

Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by DupedDad » Wed Jul 09, 2014 12:25 pm

Two years ago my wife was admitted to hospital and spent 7 weeks being investigated for poor health and chronic pain. She was discharged and to this day has not told me the reason why.

In November last year I took our disabled son to a bonfire party. Two hours after we returned and as I was getting ready to lock up for the night, she finally got out of bed for the first time in 2 days and decided to have an argument with me in the kitchen. I didn't have any interest and walked away from her to the front room but she followed me and woke our son. I eventually ushered her out of the room and shut the door.

Next day I spoke to some of her friends about the incident and they thought it was a breakdown. In the end I didn't call the out of hours mental health number her friends had given me but when my wife started arguing again on our return and I told her what they had said, she broke into tears and apologised for her behaviour.

We went to our GP and he signed her off work with stress from work and over time the GP change his diagnosis to depression and prescribed 2 different anti depressant tablets.

Our son had spoken at school about the arguments we had had / were having and social services became involved. My wife made her first false domestic abuse allegation to social services then. Social services seemed predisposed to my guilt (they spoke to my wife for over an hour about her allegations, I was spoken at for 10 minutes, effectively to be told I was guilty).

Our child was put on a protection plan for emotional abuse.

I then found out that my wife was drinking (empty 1L bottles of gin & vodka hidden away in the bedroom). I called the GP for help. My wife refused to see the GP so I went alone, he simply told me there was nothing he could do and all I could do was my best. My wife later told me she had been drunk when she argued with me in November.

For 2 months I tried the best I could to help & care for my wife, looking on line for any help or advice on living with an alcoholic partner.

After a particularly bad binge I finally confided in my brother (he had been a fantastic help when we thought the issue was just depression) and her father. My brother was shocked, her father simply said they had thought she had been an alcoholic for a while and what could you do?

My sister in law took my wife to see the GP but my worst fears were confirmed when she failed to tell him how bad her drinking had become. My sister in law then told me my wife’s hospital discharge notes from 2 years ago had stated alcohol abuse.

Following advice on a web site I had videoed her while she was drunk. When she was sober I played the video back to her and it really shocked her. For 3 months she made a real effort to stay sober. There were lapses but now I knew when she had started drinking again and thought I was helping by throwing away any gin / vodka I found in the house.

It was going really well until she had another binge at the start of May. I took another video of her and made an appointment with the GP (I thought he hadn't really believed me when I first spoke to him about her alcoholism). When I played it to him and showed him pictures of all the empty bottles I had found hidden around the house he said if she got in that state again I had to call for an ambulance.

That night I dialled 999 and my wife was admitted to hospital. I followed my GP's instructions and didn't go to visit her for several days. When I did I was arrested at the hospital.

My wife had repeated the false accusations of domestic violence she had made to social services (apparently I hit or beat her in November, I can’t recall what I was supposed to have done at Easter and she also claimed I had hit her before calling the ambulance). I was questioned and released on police bail.

I was barred from going home and having any contact with my wife. My son was placed with his maternal grandparents before being put in temporary foster care when they were unable to continue to care for him (I signed a section 20).

Not seeing my son everyday has been like a knife through my heart. Making do with a quick phone call or the odd visit is so unjust to both of us, indeed my mother in law has said on 2 occasions that this is not fair on myself or my son. My in-laws have been more than good to me in the circumstances e.g. I got to watch an England friendly before the world cup with my son and father in law and I spent 5 wonderful hours with my son.

My wife was discharged from hospital and social workers returned our son to her care with “support”. Five days later my son was back with his grandparents. A week later and the police broke into our house to find my wife drunk. They called an ambulance and she has been in hospital seriously ill since.

I answered bail on Friday to find that my wife had made a fresh allegation that I had broken her arm. In January my wife fell and broke her shoulder in her bedroom. I was asleep in our sons room when she did this and didn't hear her fall. When I woke I found her sitting on the floor in her bedroom in considerable pain. She told me she had taken Oramorph during the night & was groggy as a result. She said she caught her foot in her handbag getting out of bed and fell. She claimed to have drunk more Oramorph directly from the bottle because she was in so much pain but refused to go to A&E until the following day when I took her.

The police have said they cannot envisage investigating any more allegations that my wife might dream up. So a line has been drawn and now I’ve got to plan for the worst (the case goes to court which leaves me with a task I’m dreading; completing the legal aid forms) whilst hoping that the investigation reveals the truth.

I really struggle with the injustice. If I was the abusive alcoholic I would have been removed from our home and my son left in my wife’s care. My wife is the abusive alcoholic but I have been removed from our home and our son is in foster care

On the positive side it has proven what I’ve known all along, I’m fortunate to have the most fantastic friends and family. As well as this (it might not be to every ones taste) I have found Al Anon to be very supportive of me, the husband of an alcoholic. Without going to Al Anon meetings I’m not sure how I would have coped.

This finally leads me to my questions:

I only signed the section 20 after the social services legal department clarified access to be 1 supervised visit per week initially (I also enjoy 2 monitored phone calls with my son). Social services claim my son stated several times that he only wants to see me once a week. As he has learning difficulties I can’t imagine him saying this unless he was asked a leading question such as would you like to see dad once a week?

The supervised visits may change once my son’s social worker has carried out a risk assessment on me. I’ve had 2 such meetings with her so far to talk about what’s going on, the first in an open reception area, the second in a meeting room.

I’ve not been told what risk they believe I actually pose to my son and what they are assessing me for. Should this have been explained to me?

The social worker has said she is too busy to see me re the risk assessment this week and has offered a supervised visit, if it can be organised, to see my son next week. The workload of my sons social worker should not dictate when and how often I see my son. What is the best way to raise my grievance that they are not adhering to the weekly contact confirmed by their legal department?

Throughout our marriage (17 years) my wife managed all our finances as she works for a bank. She has used her knowledge to make life as awkward as possible for me. She has transferred all our money & savings to an account I never knew existed and cancelled direct debits that affect me e.g. mobile / credit card.

If I had deprived my wife of access to our money, the police agree I would be in more trouble. Why do neither the police nor social services seem concerned that my wife has done this (an action that seems to be one definition of domestic abuse) to me?

Posts: 537
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by ange301126 » Sun Jul 13, 2014 5:31 pm

Dear DupedDad, It seems to me that the CS have made unrealistic and misinformed appraisals of your case going by what you have written. (Obviously) inadvertently, they have been misinformed by your wife.Please note she cannot really be held responsible; she is a sick woman and something must have led her to the bottle.
She will have been under tremendous stress from caring for a special needs son for a start and if she was working long hours too, well.However, the CS can be blamed for it if they only spoke to you for ten minutes and if they haven't consulted the GP or the Police to check your side of the story.They should make an 'in depth' assessment not make assumptions and that includes consulting with medical and police. In normal circumstances when women complain of violent husbands, police are involved with the CS as a matter of course when a child is involved. The social worker is making decisions on false beliefs and ideology emanating from a sick person . Crazy and irresponsible.. It is fairly common knowledge that alcoholics invent stories.I suggest she is attacking you for the simple reason that you are the one who is trying to stop her from bingeing( throwing it down the drain). This is also common knowledge to well-trained professionals but not your sw apparently.
To PROTECT your child and help your wife and yourself , I suggest you complain to a Sergeant or Inspector and tell them you want your wife charged with making false allegations and wasting Police time.If she is found guilty in a court this will support you an she will get psychiatric reports and probation involvement. She will get help.
PLEASE NOTE THAT ALCOHOLISM DOES NOT MEAN SHE HAS ABUSED THE CHILD EMOTIONALLY. Is there any realistic evidence she has or any you have?

Do the CS have medical evidence the child has suffered emotional abuse or is that their own allegation? I can see that your son may be at RISK of emotional harm from constant arguing at home in his presence but lots of parents argue and surely it is out of proportion to circumstances that your son should suffer all the incumbent emotional harm and suffering of foster care.You should never have signed an S20. Have the CS worked within the legal frameworks explained in FRG advice sheets fully as they should do? Did they inform you of your right to consult with an advocacy service? Did you examine all the alternatives? Did the CS ask you to sign and threaten legal action(this has been known) or did you ask them to care for him?
If they haven't kept to their side of the bargain ( and only spoke to you for ten minutes) I suggest you rescind the S20 and take the child back into your care before matters get out of hand and make a note of all breaks with legal procedure..You may wish to talk to a solicitor before doing so .If you read the FRG advice sheets they are a great help, also you can ring the helpline.I am an ordinary parent ,Suzie , the FRG adviser will reply to your post soon. I can tell you with absolute authority, however, that children with learning difficulties and other special needs often suffer from immense harm in Local Authority care.Do you know if your son has a trained special needs carer.Read our thread on the subject of ASD and other disabilities.(I am not saying your son falls into those categories but he does have learning difficulties of some kind).You will see how children have almost died in the past.Denying your son the weekly contact will harm him and it is not a good sign when the CS start breaking agreements generally for whatever reason.He needs to be at home!

Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:35 am

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by DupedDad » Tue Jul 15, 2014 12:22 am

Thanks Ange301126, I’ll answer you points and questions as best I can.

At first when we were arguing and our son spoke about our rows at school, I did hold my wife responsible. At the time I couldn’t fathom out why the person I loved and who often said she loved me could then be so argumentative and nasty at other times. I couldn’t understand why at times the most innocent, innocuous or caring of comments could initiate such vitriolic responses from her and I’m ashamed to say that I would allow myself to get drawn into these arguments and I would respond to her goading with horrible verbal retorts of my own.

Once the GP signed her off work with stress and then depression it completely changed me (I remember a social worker couldn’t / wouldn’t accept my view that there was no longer any tension in the house because I now realised my wife was poorly). I thought I understood why she was behaving as she did and I then did everything I could to support her. All I wanted was to see her get better so I tried my best to make sure that was all she had to concentrate on; I did everything I could (cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing, looking after our son) so that she could concentrate on getting better.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve spoken to her about our wedding vows, talking about “in sickness and in health, for better for worse”. It was the same when I found she was drinking. I kept saying to her “you’re not the first, you wont be the last but we’ll get through this together”.

She managed to dupe me for several years as to the true cause of her mood changes and illness so I can understand that she has deceived the social workers (in my diary I talk a lot about Dr Jekyll and Mrs Hyde). In coming to their conclusions they spent a whole home visit questioning her (approx an hour) and eventually on the next home visit they spent 10 minutes talking at me.

As far as I can tell / am aware of, there was, no in-depth assessments just an acceptance at face value of what they had been told by my wife although I do recall in a core group meeting the fact was disclosed that our GP had apparently examined my wife after the November argument but he found no injuries, just some slight marks on her biceps which tallied exactly with my account of holding her arms to usher her out of the room (when I pointed this out I was told I was changing my account).

My son’s social worker is a Muslim and she admitted she has no concept or understanding of alcohol and what it can do / how it can affect people. In core group meetings I have asked that we retain our social worker as she has seemed more rationale than some of the other social workers we’ve had (although that doesn’t say a lot for the standard we’ve encountered, so far they all seem unable to adopt a scientific method and refuse to question or challenge any of their previous decisions no matter what the evidence to challenge them e.g. despite several admissions to hospital I’m still not convinced they believe my wife is an alcoholic).

Regarding the stories my wife has concocted against me, various people have proposed 1 of 2 theories:

· She's an alcoholic so don't try to rationalise what she is doing because you cant and never will
· By calling the ambulance I have denied her access to her addiction and because I have prevented her from drinking this is her revenge

To be honest I've no idea why and probably I will never know why she has done what she has, all I can say with any certainty is I no longer know the person I fell in love with and married.

I thought the police would bring charges of wasting police time? My solicitor expressed the view that she could possibly be charged with perverting the course of justice while I have raised the point with both the police and the social worker that by her actions, my wife is categorically subjecting me to financial abuse but neither seem at all concerned about categorical facts, just her lies and fabrications.

To be fair I didn’t want to bring charges against her as I felt she had enough problems already. I would be very interested in anybody elses thoughts and opinions on bringing charges against my wife, it’s something to consider and discuss with my solicitor.

The school claimed our son’s behaviour at school changed when we were arguing (I would have to agree that that is possible; he would get upset if we had an argument when he was in the house and on those fortunately infrequent occasions he made it quite clear that he didn’t like the arguments and wanted us to stop). When my wife tried to become sober for 3 months the arguments effectively dropped off to nothing and the school reiterated on several occasions that his behaviour was back to normal.

The only other comment that has been passed was by my wife’s sister to me (and I don’t know whether she would repeat it) when she said she thought my wife had little patience with our son.

Our son is the most well-adjusted, happy, sociable young man you could hope to meet. He will walk into a room and everyone becomes his friend and you have to have a very cold heart indeed not to walk out with a huge smile on your face.

I cannot imagine any clinical evidence of emotional abuse, it is purely the belief / expectations of the expert members of the core group that there is a risk of emotional abuse.

I signed the section 20 because:

· I’m on bail and currently barred from home and living with friends 30 / 40 minutes away
· My wife was hospitalised and unable to care for herself
· My in laws had cared for but were unable to continue caring for our son due to age / ill health

The social worker was very forceful in her attempts to get me to sign the section 20. Threatening me with court proceedings and constantly saying how urgent it was to get this resolved despite my in laws saying they would continue to look after my son until a suitable foster carer could be found. On one occasion on the phone she was shouting at me (e.g. your wife’s signed why wont you) but I refused to rise to her provocation, I simply asked her to stop shouting at me.

The main cause of the social workers anger was my agreement to sign the section 20 in principle. Before I was prepared to actually sign I wanted clarity of terms such as temporary and confirmation of the contact I would have while my son was in foster care.

My solicitor was quite happy for them to go to court as the judge would apparently have expected them to have done their job properly and to have already confirmed the information I was asking for.

Eventually their legal department provided the necessary clarification and I signed the section 20 (there was never any mention of an advocacy service).

This Wednesday I was supposed to attend a Child Looked After meeting but my wife has been discharged from hospital and may go so I’ve been banned from attending this meeting. Instead I have a meeting on Tuesday afternoon with the social worker and the Independent Reviewing Officer for the Child Looked After meeting.

I will raise the fact that they are not complying with the terms their legal department added to the section 20 regarding contact (1 visit in 3 weeks plus 2 phone calls a week of just 20 to 30 minutes duration). The social workers seem hell bent on ignoring my sons desire to communicate with and to see me.

I’ve attempted to contact my solicitor to ask about withdrawing my section 20 consent. Any views on this or other courses of action would be gratefully received.

I’ll read the advice sheets when the web site starts playing ball again.

I don’t know if the foster carer is a trained special needs carer, another question to ask tomorrow but I have met her and I felt a lot happier having met her (as did my brother).

I agree with you though, no matter how good the foster carer is, I want my son back. Just need to wait for the police / CPS decision and then sort out the domestic arrangements but as my wife is unlikely to have achieved sobriety considering her actions I cannot comprehend how social services could even contemplate putting our son in her care.

Posts: 537
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by ange301126 » Tue Jul 15, 2014 10:58 am

Dear DupedDad, Unfortunately we see the CS exceed their powers and take children into care without a care order or exile a father from home many times on these forums.Your experience is nothing new!
You should consider yourself a DoubleDupedDad.

On the signs so far,don't make the mistake of thinking it will all turn out okay in the wash because it is too late for that. The CS are likely to continue acting ultra viries.

Your solicitor has advised you already he is happy for them to go to court so let them get on with it.
They haven't followed the frameworks of the Children's Act.Before the core group meeting ,did they carry out an 'in-depth' assessment? No. They only questioned you for ten minutes.How can you have changed you account of the injuries? Did you give them a full account?.

Remember that your son's interests are paramount not your wife's.You are responsible for him and the care system is already causing him emotional disturbance.As they have no court order one might reasonably say they are guilty of emotional abuse, the very thing they have accused you of.

I don't wish to stress you out unduly but you must 'be there' for your son! Perhaps your friends will put him up in the same room as you which will take care of domestic arrangements.

Has the Social Worker changed your son's GP? Has she provided you with a copy of the Initial LAC Health Assessment?

One cannot avoid being extremely concerned for children when they remove children without the consent of a court. Why the heck was she under so much pressure to take him away into their control? Why so quickly? What were her motives and where was the pressure coming from? Why have they welched on the agreement already and disenabled contact? Why don't they want you to see him,have they something to hide?nHeaven knows, but one thing is certain it was not in the child's interests not according to the law.The Law says he will be better off with his family.

Hope this helps you.I am not trying to distress or upset you but just want to clarify a few things.These are valid questions which you have to ask,I'm afraid.

Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:35 am

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by DupedDad » Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:41 pm

Thanks again Ange301126

I’ve no misconceptions about the involvement of CS in our lives.

Regarding the frameworks of the Children’s Act I am only aware of:
· Comments my son has made at school (apparently he has said that we argued and I’ve pushed / hit mum)
· The 2 separate interviews that were conducted at our home
· In the core group meeting somebody said my wife had undergone a medical examination after the November argument but there was no evidence of the attack she had alleged, just some marks on her arms

I’ve no idea if there was anything else that was included as part of their initial investigation but this is all I am aware of that would have contributed towards their assessment of the situation.

I’m sure the report they prepared for the first core group meeting failed to identify that my wife had an alcohol problem (to be fair I was also unaware of her drinking problem when we were first interviewed). However, if they are basing their assessment on this report then they are basing their judgements on a fundamentally flawed document.

In my interview I said I had pushed my wife out of the room. In the core group meeting I said the marks on her arms mentioned in the medical report confirmed my version of events. No one said where the marks were on her arms (I still don’t know) but when I said that I had pushed her out of the room by placing my hands on her biceps and walking her backwards it was at this point the chair said I was changing my story.

When they interviewed my wife it lasted approx 60 minutes. I was subsequently given the opportunity to give my account of the November argument. Neither of the 2 social workers present queried or asked me for further clarification on anything I spoke about. My interview then concluded with the social workers effectively telling me I had done everything my wife was accusing me of and to confess. My interview lasted about 10 minutes in total, I did give my account but there seemed little interest in it. I’ve not been asked about the November incident again until my son’s social worker began my risk assessment a week or 2 ago.

Its been hard coming to terms with the fact that the person I fell in love with and married is no more but by going to Al Anon I’m learning to concentrate on my own well being, I now realise that only my wife can overcome her addiction (if she wants to) and separating doesn’t mean I’m abandoning her to her fate, she has to be responsible for herself.

Throughout my only concern has been my son and only by taking care of myself can I help him but this is the most draining, overwhelming & soul-destroying experience of my life.

The only reason my son was placed into temporary foster care was because my in-laws were unable to continue caring for him. My family and friends were prepared to step in but CS dismissed them:
· My family are 100 miles away and cannot offer continuity regarding his schooling.
· I’m living with friends (god parents to my son) approx 25 miles from school (in a different county). As well as schooling my bail also seems to be a blanket excuse for CS to reject anything that might involve me (despite the police saying it should not and despite me offering to move to a different friends house).

I believe my son should have been registered with a GP local to the foster carer (he has been placed at the other end of the county, 25 miles from home) but any & all paper work has been lamentable. I’m going to request copies of all correspondence to date as I don’t have anything after being barred from home.

I’ve no idea about the pressure to place my son in foster care nor the speed to do so. The social worker said it was because my in-laws couldn’t cope yet whenever I spoke to them they said they would only relinquish care once a suitable carer was put forward.

In the review meeting I attended yesterday we failed to raise the point that I had been put under pressure, shouted at and threatened with court action to try and get me to sign the section 20. I need to pass this information to the reviewing officer. Do I have any way of contacting the independent reviewing office other than via my son’s social worker??

We (my brother was there to give me moral support) did make clear though that the social worker had failed to adhere to the contact that had been agreed prior to my signing the section 20. The reviewing officer was not impressed with the efforts that the social worker has made so far regarding visits and hopefully that should be improved by the end of the week (I initially wrote resolved but I’ve learnt to wait and see what they propose). Being too busy is not a suitable explanation!

On the subject of phone calls these are to be limited to 2 a week for a duration of 20 – 30 minutes and I feel they are not long enough. My son has learning difficulties and often repeats himself several times over in each sentence so a 20 minute call might effectively only give us 10 – 15 minutes of talk time.

I let my son talk about whatever he wants to but the foster carer has stated our conversations are repetitive. I feel you cant win with these people, my son has learning difficulties and if he wants to keep talking about the same things e.g. missing his granddad or looking forward to the imminent birth of his new cousin, what do they expect me do, tell him to stop??

I’ll take their point onboard when we chat tonight (I think the foster carer will be sick to the back teeth of the new Doctor Who series and when its on by the end of the evening though and begging for talk of grandparents & nieces again!!).

The social worker also mentioned, out of the blue and in contradiction to her initial pronouncements that they only wanted to put my son in temporary foster care, there will be a requirement to hold a permanency meeting as there is uncertainty about how we go forward as a family. I believe this is because:

· I’ve got bail to answer at the beginning of August
· We then need to address our marriage and how we proceed from here (I cannot see any solution other than separation / divorce).

Despite the social worker's apparent reluctance to consider the fact that my wife might be an alcoholic they have at least said that my wife is not capable of caring for herself at the moment let alone our son. This did not prevent the social worker suggesting in a previous meeting that I consider joint custody of our son with my wife.

Yesterday the social worker said my wife didn’t want contact with our son (I had to double check with my brother that I had heard this correctly) before stating that I wanted to look after our son (there was no mention at all of joint custody or of my wife wanting to look after our son).

I’ve no idea how my wife will cope with her addiction nor the support her family might offer her after we separate (they disowned her sister for her alcohol & drug abuse) but I imagine we will have to sell the house. Will it be possible for my wife to somehow object to / prevent the sale of our house as this would have implications for me and the longer term care of my son?

As I wont be able to afford to live where we are at the moment, I will probably move 100 miles to be close to my family. Is this likely to be a cause of concern for CS if I want custody of my son??

I contacted my solicitor before yesterday’s meeting for advice but she just took the baton up and said she would contact their legal department about the lack of visits and the duration of the phone calls which she also felt were totally insufficient. I’ll leave her to pursue that approach and I’ll discuss the option of revoking my agreement to the section 20 with her and the implications of that approach.

No worries about upsetting or distressing me, I need to know what I’m up against and how to counter CS to get my son back so any advice is very gratefully received.

Posts: 537
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by ange301126 » Wed Jul 16, 2014 8:47 pm

Dear DupedDad, How old is your son and what are his special needs.Does he have a diagnosis?If he is obsessed with certain things and repeats things he hears ( echolalia) and cannot communicate normally this sounds very familiar to me and , although I am no doctor, he may be on the autistic spectrum (ASC) like my son.

Even if he isn't but he still has speech and language difficulties,I am afraid he will have been severely traumatised emotionally by the treatment he has been subjected to by the CS.

I am talking from experience and their are several families on here who could tell you a thing or two.Your son will have been seriously affected by the break in his usual routines during the first week or two especially and will be playing up and having tantrums, hitting out possibly and shouting at his carers and trying to communicate his desire to return home to his Dad and his roots. He will have become emotionally disturbed already.He may also experience absences (petite mals) and develop epilepsy due to the upset to his brain.
I have tried to explain why the CS are wrong. They have exceeded their powers and failed conduct the case properly as the law expects. Had they followed procedure and alerted you to your right to an advocate to advise you and intervene actively on your behalf, he or she may well have compelled them to follow guidelines and frameworks . That is probably why they said nothing to you .They may not want to know the true facts having already decided on the angle they will take come what may. An advocate would have ensured they examined all the alternatives to removal properly and given reasons for their rejection.Your wife could be asked to leave home rather than you or a family conference might have been convened.Or the Godparents could have been asked to help.

I am of the opinion that the only remedy you have to protect your son and get him back within family before he is harmed even more is to get a court hearing now. Let the Court make a decision based on all the facts as the Children's Act says it should. The CS have abused your son's family rights .Rescind the S20 and, if they have genuine evidence based on facts, they will take you to court.The FRG advice sheets will tell you how to do so or ask me. Remember to consult your solicitor too and ring the advice line for other opinions than

The alternative is to cooperate with them and await the outcome of the risk assessments and so on.The loser will be your son who is stuck 25 miles away right now probably fighting them and having the smile knocked off his little face.He will be blaming himself without even his usual toys for comfort.He will have new bedding,unfamiliar pyjamas and be in alien surroundings amongst strangers.When he is in his room alone at night, he will be weeping silently.He won't get any love where he finds himself.

I reckon at the very least your solicitor should demand a family placement.Children are always happier with natural family .Take no notice of what the social worker says; that is what the Children'sAct says.

In answer to your question, you have parental responsibility for your son, not the CS and you can take him where you want even if only for the summer.As long as his needs are met,the court should have no objection to that. I would add that possession is nine tenths of the Law and a magistrate is unlikely to move a chil from a place of safety with extended family which is ,of course, probably why social workers are so keen to get possession of children and place them in foster care.A magistrate is likely to keep them in care pending a final hearing .If that happened,it would be much too late for your son.n

Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2014 10:35 am

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by DupedDad » Thu Jul 17, 2014 5:32 pm

Hi Ange301126

My son is 15 years old and has Down’s syndrome. He repeats individual words when he’s talking and he has done this for a quite a while now (until recently he worked with a private speech and language therapist and its not a concern).

It is in his nature to take everything in his stride and to quickly settle in to new environments as if he’s been there for years. As far as I can judge, he is coping well with the placement, better than I dared hope in the circumstances.

The Independent Reviewing Officer I met on Tuesday does seem impartial and prepared to hold CS to account. I’ll find out if CS haven taken any notice of the IRO quite quickly; visits should be organised by the end of this week.

I want to raise the question about CS failure to follow procedures in the way they went about obtaining my signature for the section 20 with the IRO. Do I have to go via the social worker or is there another way to contact the IRO??

There has never been any mention of an advocate to help me but the IRO has asked the social worker to arrange a Family Group Conference. I need to look at the brochure she gave me plus the FRG advice sheet to understand how this might work in relation to our specific circumstances.

I’m not sure what alternatives I had at the time (or still have until I know the outcome of the police investigation) other than temporary foster care:

Police bail prevents me from living at home (it has been extended until 05/08/14)
My wife was in hospital
My in-laws had looked after but could not continue looking after our son
My family are 100 miles away

The friends I am staying with, my son’s Godparents, had offered to care for my son.
They live in a different county and are 30 – 40 minutes drive from our home, 40 minutes from my son’s school.

Are you saying CS should have at least considered them before opting for a foster carer rather than dismissing them out of hand? Would this have constituted a breach of their procedures?

Are you saying with the summer holidays we can remove my son from foster care if, for example, he is looked after by my brother and sister in law? If so how do we go about this, is it a question of revoking my agreement to section 20???

Sorry for being so dim on this but I’ve never had any involvement with the law before and CS were conspicuously absent from our lives as my son grew up. At the moment I’m struggling to come to terms with everything and how to deal with CS.

I’ve just learnt they are happy to misrepresent facts: in the review meeting I made the point that I didn’t think a 20 minute phone call was sufficient contact with my son yet their legal team have replied to my solicitor claiming I stated I wouldn’t comply with their recommendation.

God these people are inhuman.

Posts: 42
Joined: Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:31 pm

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by Basil » Thu Jul 17, 2014 7:46 pm

I have found temp foster care does not happen. once cs have your child they do anything to keep them. even under s20 which 90% of parents are forced to sign in one way or another. once your child is in foster care under s20 if they are under 16 years. it will be a fight to get them home. record all conversations. don't sign anything. get a solicitor which is not your area of living. I wish you luck. they will probably not give another person the chance to look after your child. and be careful if you complain to much they make things difficult. at 16yrs if you still have pr and its not shared with the cs, and your child can just come home if no court order has put him there, and also I would make an appointment with IRO you need her on your side good luck and stay strong

Posts: 537
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by ange301126 » Fri Jul 18, 2014 6:08 am

Dear DupedDad, Yes,I am saying they have breached procedures in that they have effected the removal of your son into care by blackmail, without considering your family as carers(they just dismissed the idea)and without considering all the possibilities which might have enabled you to care for him.They have also failed to carry out a full and FAIR enquiry following the frameworks of The Children's Act(2013)including not informing you of your right to advocacy( which is why you don't know what is going on)and not carrying out an 'in-depth' core assessment thus they have not established all the facts and circumstances of the case to put to the other professionals. I am saying they have not conducted the case properly and thus following advice which has been published on these forums from Parliament I have suggested that you should initiate a hearing in court in order that all the facts can be established as they should have been in the first place before your social worker took your son into care . I have stated it is your duty to protect your son and advised that you shoul do it by rescinding the S20 agreement and take him back into a place of safety within the family fold.
I am also implying illegitimate aims on the grounds that they can quite easily apply to a magistrate when they have genuine concerns but as they haven't done so, the department hasn't genuine reasons.I am also saying that they are abusing your son emotionally. I also wonder why they have placed him in a totally unsuitable placement 25 miles away from his roots,possibly not a special needs carer and why they have not kept to the pledges they made when you signed the S20..They have failed to keep to their contact pledges which they always do giving spurious,shoddy excuses and prevented you seeing your son.
Also why change his GP and did you give your 'fully informed'consent.

Seeing Basil's message reinforces my advice that you rescind the S20 as soon as you possibly can.I have added that you should consider more professional opinions than mine,perhaps your solicitor and that you consult the FRG helpline.I am only an amateur and lay no claim to being anything other than a barrack-room lawyer.

Opinions often differ and it is for you to decide whether other parents who have seen first hand how social workers work are better able to judge issues or not.

It is fundamental that all the facts go to a court so that it can decide issues and that fair procedures are followed.For all anyone else knows you could be a wife beater giving a cock and bull story to rationalise your behaviour.The CS clearly think so.Therefore the case has to go to court for them to decide.

If goes to court,by flouting fair procedures,the CS have already lost the high ground.At some point the Magistrate will have to make a judgment as to the credibility of the respective arguments and if your solicitors put all the facts to court,they should be able to discredit the CS completely.

Hope this helps.Please can you state the exact date your son was taken into care?

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2212
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Consequences of being falsely accussed

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jul 21, 2014 7:10 pm

Hi DupedDad

My name is Suzie and I am the online adviser at Family Rights Group. I’m sorry to read about the distressing situation you are dealing with and for the delay in responding to you.

As you are aware, the section 20 agreement that you have signed is a voluntary agreement giving the local authority permission to accommodate your son. The agreement does not give parental responsibility (PR) for your son to the local authority and does not remove your own PR.

As you son is accommodated under section 20, the local authority must, as far as is reasonably practicable, agree all aspects of his care plan with you. In addition, you have every right to withdraw your consent to the section 20 and the local authority cannot continue to accommodate your son against your wishes.

If you made the decision to remove your consent to section 20, you would be entitled to bring your son in to your immediate care (so long as your bail conditions do not specifically prevent this) or to place him with suitable alternative carers.

If Children’s Services felt that your plans put your son at risk of immediate significant harm, they would then have to apply to the court for an order to continue to keep him “in care”. If Children’s Services were to achieve a care order on your son, this would put you in a less favourable position than you are now so I would strongly advise that you take some legal advice about this before acting.

It is likely to be in your best interests to continue to cooperate with Children’s Services as much as you can, even while you are challenging some of their decisions and practice.

As has been mentioned, even while your son is accommodated and in the care of the local authority, they have a responsibility to place him with relatives, friends or other connected people if possible before considering stranger foster carers.

I am pleased to hear that you had a positive experience with your son’s IRO. The IRO is key to your son’s care plan so it is right for you to raise any significant concerns with him directly in between LAC review meetings. If you are able to get an email address for him, that would be ideal as it is a clear and efficient way of communicating your concerns.

I would advise that you read our advice sheets about the duties of Children's Services when a child is looked after, contact with an accommodated child and emergency placements as well as the advice sheet about FGCs that you already mentioned.

I hope this is a helpful start.

Best Wishes

FRG Adviser

Post Reply