rock bottom

[frustrated mum]

Thank you suzie

[frustrated mum]

Youngest daughter wants to come home im in middle of redecorating her room atm. Need bed etc. as it was a section 20 do i tell the sw that on such a date my daughter is coming home ? As she was previously on child protection will it go to court even though situation has improved? So many questions. Ive never even meet her new social worker i haven't even been given there phone number. Any advice on how to do this properly would be gladly received!

[frustrated mum]

Anyone?

[ange301126]

Dear frustrtated mum, I've no idea although I've advised it often enough.Try ringing the FRG helpline or see a solicitor.When I made the mistake of signing one ,CS did not give me a copy which I guess was a breach of procedure in itself.If they gave you one,it may tell you in the smallprint how to rescind it.When you do it, please pass it on to us all how?

[ange301126]

Dear frustrated mum, I have found out from an FRG advice sheet
If a child is in accommodation ( not under a court order) parents may remove the child from accommodation by simply telling the local authority that that is their intention unless:
A residence order exists, in which case they may not if the person with the residence order objects.
Or you may not if the child is over 16 and objects.

I hope this helps.I suppose it means you can just e-mail your intentions and that is that.
If they don't like it , they will have to apply for a court order.
If your girl wants to get back home with you, it is doubtful if they will,I would have thought.

This may interest all those parents who have been blackmailed into signing an S20.in theory you can just inform the CS and take your child back at any time( perhaps at a contact). You are not obliged to do it through a solicitor. You may choose to seek a solicitors advice but ultimately you have the right just to inform the CS and go for it.

[frustrated mum]

I have finally spoken to the sw!!!! I explained that my daughter is requesting to come home. Stated that we were quite happy to do any courses/assessments needed. As it was a section 20 and my daughter is 15 she cant see any reason why she cant come back. They have no reason to apply for a care order as they know that family circumstances have improved. So she needs to speak to her line manager about our case. Shes asked when would i like my daughter to come home and i explained that the bedrm is a building site so it wouldnt be until the end of the month anyway. Mine and my daughters relationship has greatly improved. The new sw attitude was refreshing compared to the last she actually listened to me. Shes started the ball rolling already by looking at parent-teenagers programes in our area. She said she will have to visit my home to make sure my daughter will have provisions etc. im not getting too excited as we are only on day one and blow me down with a feather her dad is now on board!!!
Will keep you all posted with snipets of info as i get them hurdles etc. thank you all .

[ange301126]

Dear frustrated mum, okay just as long as she understands that whether or not you have provisions in the cupboard doesn't matter.You can bring her home tomorrow and share beds if you want to and get a fish and chip supper to celebrate.

She is wrong to suggest otherwise and of course, if she has got to take instructions from the line manager, there may be more to come.As long as they don't use the fact that you are rescinding the S20 against you you should be alright.Anyone else doing so would have to deal with that probability.
Good luck with them and never let down your guard.

[frustrated mum]

It was more that she doesnt have a bedroom , bed none of nothing so they wanted to check everything will be as i said it would. I need nick knowles and his crew! So spending weekend boarding and plastering and painting woodwork and doors. Trying not to get excited as i no ss can pull the rug from under you just like that.

[frustrated mum]

Ive been missing for along time so i have major update for you. Re reading my thread i cant believe i was talking about myself! Anyways my last post says i was decorating bedrooms ready for my youngest daughters return. She came home on the 28th april!!! Alls been well no major dramas , she comes home on curfew goes to school etc. she is on child in need plan as shes statemented . Ss bought her a new school uniform etc. My eldest daughter is still in care and playing merry hell. She came on weekend contact and absconded so that got stopped. Trys to play me and the carers off against each other. Little madame! Shes opted to stay in care is going to college in september near her placement. I am going to sound like worst mother of the year but it is easier with out her. We have weekly contact and speak every day on the phone but she steals off me lies to me and when shes here bullies her sister. It causes friction within the family. But on the other hand ive told her the door is still open to her as she is my daughter. Ss have advised for the families best interest her not returning home as her behaviour is unstable and never her fault. They now recongnise it wasnt just mine and her dads relationship that was causing the problem it was hers aswell. We still provide for her as im her mum and i want to even though ss say she gets a clothing allowance i feel its my job.
Back to my youngest. Yes shes stable at school and enjoys going! We went on holiday together and all was good. She still has contact with her foster carer which is fine with us she goes for picnics with them. I think its helping as its not blowing my daughters mind that she got removed from us. Lived with a stranger whose wider family also excepted my daughter. She has been invited to go abroad with them! They offered to pay and my daughter jumped at the invite. I will be starting to wind down contact come september. Some of you may find it strange that i allow contact but the carer helped her so much and my daughter gets on with them and had a close bond and i didnt want to cause emotional problems by stopping contact with them. Ss and camhs also think the contact is a good idea for time being and then to stop.
I am alot calmer now home life is good faced up to alot of issues and dealt with them head on. Im still with my partner and both my daughters have an improved relationship with him.
Thank you everyone for your support during what was the bleakest time of my life. Im one of the lucky ones and i couldnt of survived without you all. Xxx

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Thanks for your positive update and well done on all that you have achieved.

Hope things continue to go well for you and your family.

Suzie