Alcoholic ex and social services lack of care and incompetence

[Greyo1010]

Hi, sorry but this is going to be a long read.
I left my ex 2 years ago due to her putting our children in danger and them needing a normal upbringing. She's been an alcoholic for years and tbh I stayed for the children. The night I left she had taking the boys to a pub where she was drinking all day ( not the first time) and later that evening she went to a friends to continue drinking. I was sent photos of her collapsed in the street drunk with the children and she had urinated all over herself. After I left and took the children to my parents she locked herself in the house for a week continuing to drink and refusing me and the children any of our belongings, after a week I had a phone call to inform me she'd left the house to go drinking at the local. I managed to get in the house and managed to take photos of bags and bags of empty cans, the smell in the house was awful, she had urinated the bed and also there was poo all over the sheets, which wasn't uncommon as I has witnessed this many times over the years. Fast forward she attended gdas (gwent drug and alcohol serclvices) and because of this social stated there were no safeguarding issues even though no proof was provided and she started to have the children back. She was still going out drinking socials words to me was, " what's the matter with her drinking, heroin addicts and alcoholics have full custody of their children it's not uncommon" and they kept repeating that what I had to say was hearsay, as my comments were coming from what the children had told me. A few months later I had a phone call that she was drunk and was told you can't give the children back today. I went to her house without the boys and she was drunk so I refused to hand the children over, she turned up at my parents house with her mother demanding the children. The police was called and confirmed she was drunk and allowed the children to stay with me the maternal grandmother told the police it doesnt matter if shes drunk as long as im not which is also in the police records. Social stated that she shouldn't see the boys for 1 day only. The next day we both showed up at school and the police was called again, the police spoke to the boys and their words from the police records was "without hesitation they wanted to go with the father". I applied for an emergency hearing as social stated there was no safeguarding issues but the court deemed no change of residence. And i should add after the incident of her turning up she had told me that she had appendicitis and hadn't seen the children for a week, when I saw the boys they told me that her mother was passed out drunk they had to feed the cats and maternal grandmother had to feed them as they was starving and an ambulance was called by a friend and grandmother cancelled the ambulance and told the children they had to say she had appendicitis. Her family are big drinker also and cover and protect her rather than the children, also there are no hospital or gp records confirming her story of appendicitis. I begged social to come out and speak to the boys as I was worried they wouldn't speak the truth because quite often they are forced to lie by ex's family. Social refused. So I took it upon myself to set a camera up and catch the boys saying these things and in the video, they mention how she was passed out drunk during the false appendicitis issue. She had taking them to a pub Halloween and back to a friend's house, and she had also taking them to a house party where she had got drunk and took a man back home with her and the boys. I also have a witness statement from people at that house party stating she was drunk and giving that man oral sex in the bathroom upstairs. After applying for court she stopped me seeing the boys for 3 months and even got the bith boys to say in different rooms, that they never wanted to see me again and only want phone calls, at the time they was 8 and 6 years old. Social still state there are no safeguarding issues. We have now been to court with multiple pieces of evidence and a section 7 has been completed by social and also 2 alcohol test have been done both with chronic excessive alcohol levels and social section 7 states there are still bo safeguarding issues and the children should stay with mother and father shouldn't even have 50/50 care.... even though it says in the section 7 that I am the more stable parent and can provide a better environment for the children. But they state that mother no longer drinks despite 2 excessive alcohol tests, social had tried to say that her tests proved she has significantly lowered her alcohol use. I have now received a document from the testing company stating that you cannot prove one test is lower than the other all that can be concluded from these tests is that they are both excessive levels of alcohol. Also my ex had moved back in with her parents and the children have had to share a bottom bunk bed as they're cousin is on the top bunk, she then decided to say she now sleeps on the landing and the boys don't share a bed, even though I've been told different. Also it has come out that her and her father (maternal grandfather) forced the children to say they never wanted to see me again, when told by the children they was shaking in fear of them finding out they had told me. And still social want to close the case and are stating there are no concerns. My barrister has advised me to put in a complaint against social services when court is over. This is the short version of the events so much more has happened. I feel my children have been let down by a system designed to protect them.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Greyo1010

Thank you for posting on the Family Rights Group parents’ discussion forum.

I see from your post that you mention that your children’s mother attended Gwent drug and alcohol services. This suggests that you are in Wales and, unfortunately, this matter does not fall within the remit of our service. We offer advice where children’s services in England is directly involved with a family.

In addition, you are in private law family proceedings which is also outside of your remit.

However, having read your post and the concerns you have relating to your children being properly safeguarded, I suggest that you write to the Director of Social Services in the area your children live to raise your concerns and the worry you have regarding the lack of intervention in what you consider to be an unsafe environment for your children. They will not consider the court case, but your complaint should be in respect of their handling of the case which in your view has clear safeguarding concerns..

It will be for the judge to decide with whom the children will live once all the evidence is before the court. If you are represented, please ensure that your legal representative is aware of all your concerns.

You may find it helpful to look at the useful links on our website which includes services in Wales.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie