Advice on SGO revoked

[Guardianmum23]

Hi I had my great nephew placed with me almost 2 years ago. The SGO specifically said that contact was to be supervised fortnightly and that the subject of supervision and whether it was required was down to me.
Over the last 2 years my Niece (mother of the child) has turned herself around, she was in an abusive relationship and had poor mental health and the children were removed on grounds of neglect.
She now has a job, a new partner who I have met and is DBS checked, she hasn’t missed a single contact and offered to pay for her own drugs tests to prove she is clean.
I have also been to her home and inspected it prior to letting her have her son.
We are now at the stage that he stays at her house at the weekend and extended visits in the holidays.
We have a shared calendar so we can communicate our days easily, I allow her to be involved as much as I can in her son’s life.
She has done a couple of school drop offs and pick ups too and she has voiced that she would one day like to have him back, which I have said as long as the courts agree it and are satisfied she has done enough then I won’t argue it.
My problem however comes with my brother and sister in law (grandparents to my nephew) every time they find out that I have done something they don’t agree with, I get abusive threatening messages that I’m making the wrong decisions and that I better be sure the mum isn’t on drugs or drunk otherwise they will report me to social services.
This is causing me undue stress and it’s getting me to the point that I don’t want the SGO anymore, I will lose my job if I’m reported to social services so it’s really unfair they are doing this to me when I stepped in, in the first place to help.
I wondered if social services would support me in a parenting assessment, so I could confirm mum is safe to have her son for extended stays?
If not then I think we would need to go down the route of revoking the SGO
Any advice would be great

[Ignatious]

Dear Guardianmum23,
Welcome to FRG.
I have an active post a few messages below which briefly outlined my involvement here. I am a parent, and as my footnote comment states, these are my views.
I lost my children to a none kinship care Special Guardianship Order (Former Local Authority Foster carers). I'm not in agreement for MY Special Guardianship Order (against me). I have my reasons, Which makes my next comments ,.. interesting.

In regards to your Special Guardianship Order. As I do with my Special Guardians, I thank them for caring for my children. You are the child's Special Guardian. The Local Authority would have provided an assessment to the court, the courts have agreed, and YOU (not your Brother and Sister-in-Law) have Parental Responsibility for the child in question. You are doing a great job, and don't forget that. My first advice, however unpleasant it may be, is to politely remind your Brother (and Sister-in-law) of this, and it is your job to act in how you see fit to act in the child's best interests.

As for losing your job and social services. Do Social Services have anything to be worried about? Should they be worried? I am simply going to assume the answer to both is No. And as the answer is no,.. then you too should have nothing to worry about.
If someone makes an allegation to Social Services, they are duty bound to investigate. All that means if they come out is that they have complied with there investigation and (as presumed) nothing to worry about, case closed.

I may edit or add another post to this later with links on who can end a special guardianship order,.. but this is something that shouldn't be done lightly. I know, I'm going through this process as we speak.

In short, You could seek to revoke, The Parent could seek to revoke. But there are costs involved. I initiated my case back in September, and I'm still not at the FHDRA (First Hearing Dispute Resolution Agreement) yet.

Again, Chin up,.. your doing an amazing job.

Ignatious

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi I had my great nephew placed with me almost 2 years ago. The SGO specifically said that contact was to be supervised fortnightly and that the subject of supervision and whether it was required was down to me.
Over the last 2 years my Niece (mother of the child) has turned herself around, she was in an abusive relationship and had poor mental health and the children were removed on grounds of neglect.
She now has a job, a new partner who I have met and is DBS checked, she hasn’t missed a single contact and offered to pay for her own drugs tests to prove she is clean.
I have also been to her home and inspected it prior to letting her have her son.
We are now at the stage that he stays at her house at the weekend and extended visits in the holidays.
We have a shared calendar so we can communicate our days easily, I allow her to be involved as much as I can in her son’s life.
She has done a couple of school drop offs and pick ups too and she has voiced that she would one day like to have him back, which I have said as long as the courts agree it and are satisfied she has done enough then I won’t argue it.
My problem however comes with my brother and sister in law (grandparents to my nephew) every time they find out that I have done something they don’t agree with, I get abusive threatening messages that I’m making the wrong decisions and that I better be sure the mum isn’t on drugs or drunk otherwise they will report me to social services.
This is causing me undue stress and it’s getting me to the point that I don’t want the SGO anymore, I will lose my job if I’m reported to social services so it’s really unfair they are doing this to me when I stepped in, in the first place to help.
I wondered if social services would support me in a parenting assessment, so I could confirm mum is safe to have her son for extended stays?
If not then I think we would need to go down the route of revoking the SGO
Any advice would be great

Dear Guardianmum23

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie. I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I will reply to your post here today but if you have any further queries please use our specialist kinship carers’ forum to post as you may get advice and support from other kinship carers there as well as from me.

You are a Special Guardian for your great-nephew. The court recommended supervised contact between the child and his mother every fortnight but it was left to your discretion, as you are the main decision-maker for the child, to monitor and amend these arrangements if you decided that was in the child’s best interests.

It is good to hear that the child’s mother (your niece) is making good progress. You explain that she is no longer in an abusive relationship and is in a new relationship with a partner who you deem to be safe. It sounds as if her mental health is improving. She is working. While there must have been concerns about drug use in the past, your niece maintains that she is no longer using and is willing to pay for drug tests to confirm this.

You have assessed it to be safe for your great-nephew to have weekend stays and extended visits at his mother’s home which you have inspected. It sounds as if both you and your niece are working towards a potential plan for the child to return to his mother’s care and to ask the court to consider ending the Special Guardianship Order. You have an automatic right to apply to end the order but your niece would need the court’s permission to apply to do so.

The child’s grandparents are questioning your decision-making and sending you threatening messages when they disagree with you. This includes threatening to refer you to children’s services which worries you and which would affect you professionally. From what you have said I don’t think they have actually done so yet.

I can understand how stressful this is for you. It is not ok for the grandparents to try to intimidate you or undermine you.

You are wondering about asking children’s services to become involved to do a parenting assessment in order to demonstrate that your niece is able to care for her son safely for longer periods.

You have had some helpful and supportive advice from a parent whose children are cared for by unrelated Special Guardians. They make some very good points. They also acknowledge the care you have shown to your great-nephew and your commitment to supporting him to have a safe and ongoing relationship with his mother.

It is correct that you (not his grandparents) have been entrusted by the court with making decisions for the child. It may be that they are genuinely worried because he was neglected whilst in his mother’s care and they are not convinced that she has made all the changes. However, you have the parental responsibility to assess this and decide what is best. You have assessed the situation to be safe and in your great-nephew's interests. If the grandparents choose to make a referral to children’s services you cannot stop them from doing so but children’s services will only become involved if there is evidence that the child is in need or at risk of harm. They will be aware that you have the authority to make decisions and would only intervene if there was a need to. If you are confident that the arrangement is safe and best for your great-nephew then you will be able to show this, should children’s services receive a referral from the grandparents. An employer would only be concerned if there was a child protection investigation or decision that a child was suffering significant harm.

However, your idea of contacting children’s services yourself in a proactive way is a good one. You and the child’s mother are both able to access support from the Special Guardianship (or Kinship Carers) Support Team in the local authority which was involved at the time. As you and your niece agree about moving forward with this plan you could approach the team together to ask that they provide you with guidance you about this. They could support you to refer to children’s services’ ‘front door’ or assessment team to request an assessment. As there are likely to have been care proceedings prior to the SGO being made it would be wise to do so, so that there is a planned and thorough assessment. It may not be a parenting assessment though but a child in need assessment. Children’s services may suggest that it would be for the court to direct a parenting assessment. They will let you know what they can offer.

As you and your niece are contemplating a future court application to apply to end the SGO then you may find the following advice sheets helpful:

2a) Special Guardianship: an introduction – please see page 10 for advice on how to end a SGO.

2b) Special Guardianship: information for parents - your niece should see page 11 for advice on how to end a SGO.

The court would need to consider what is in your great-nephew’s best interests. Your niece would need to show whether she can now safely care for her son. Therefore, having a parenting assessment and established safe contact arrangements prior to this would assist the court.

If you or your niece need any further advice about applying to end an SGO, which is a private law matter, you may be able to access this from one of the following:

• Child Law Advice: Family Line
• Rights of Women: Family Advice
• Law Society: find a solicitor website.

I hope this is helpful. Please consider posting on the kinship carers’ forum, as mentioned earlier, as other kinship carers may be able to offer you additional practical advice and emotional support.

If you would like to talk the situation through with an adviser please call the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except bank holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie