My son is on an SGO removed by social services

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Decante,

Thank you for your update.

You say that you're going through a parenting assessment and this appears to be going well.

Your son is currently under section 20 in foster care and his usual carers are subject to bail conditions which are soon to expire. The social worker does not think there is a need for supervised contact, and has said that contact from progress from here. The social worker has also said that they would like your son to come and live with you. The social has said that they would like your son to live with you after his current foster placement ends, but will need to seek legal to see if the special guardian can be overridden. You also mention the the case will be going to court. You have been asked if you would maintain contact between your son and his special guardians. You would like to know if children's services can override the special guardians and whether your son could be placed with you under section 20? There is going to be a PLO review soon to decide on a permanency plan for your son. You say that your son seems happier. The social worker has told you that it is unlikely you will fail the parenting assessment. You would like to know if the courts could give your partner parental responsibility.

This seems to be a complicated situation and it is understandable that you have many questions.

As it currently stands, the special guardians still have overriding parental responsibility (PR) for your son. As they are under bail conditions which prevent them from providing a home for your son and have also not made alternative arrangements for him, they cannot object to him being accommodated under section 20 with foster carers. However, if and when their bail expire, they could withdraw this consent and ask for your son to be returned to their care. If the local authority wants to stop this, they would need to seek a court order giving them shared parental responsibility - this could an emergency protection order or an interim care order.

Your son cannot come to live with you under section 20 as children cannot be accommodated under section 20 with a parent who has PR.

It is positive that your parenting assessment is looking positive. I would advise that you await the outcome of this and the outcome of the meeting that is due to be held about your son's care. The local authority may decide they are going to initiate care proceedings and this will influence the way in which he may come into your care. If you have a positive assessment, this is an encouraging step and the local authority may support him moving in with you even if they are granted PR. The issue right now is that they do not have PR for him and that if he does move in with you, the special guardians could object to this.

In relation to your partner and having PR for your son. As he is not the child's birth father, he could obtain parental responsibility through a child arrangements order. This is something that could be dealt with if any court proceedings were initiated.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[Decante]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you for that information, we had the PLO review, the special guardians have agreed for my son to come and live with me and my partner. Although I understand there is the SGO in place but it has been agreed this will be on a family arrangement both the IRO and the social worker support this and the special guardians legal representatives.

They said they will take legal proceedings as there has been more information come to light. That my son has been subject to emotional and mental abuse and had been hit numerous of times by one of the special guardians. I've stated that I would like security for him, and thought that legal proceedings would be best for this as they can with draw there consent anytime which means if they did then he would have to go back into foster care, but social and the IRO stated this isn't in the best interest for him, and said that as I'm available and passed the parenting assessment that they can't see why he couldn't come. There plan is to keep him as a looked after child, then when it goes to court ask for an interim supervision order and then in that I can get the SGO discharged. Bail conditions for both have been extended until June. But still no word on when they plan to take proceedings, she said I could take it to court but my solicitor said it would take to long where as social services could get a court date quicker.

I also don't understand how one of the special guardians can still have contact with my son due to the abuse he's also suffered, they have noted that she doesn't give any attention to him, but will with the younger two. Nobody knows how it's effecting him as his work at school hasn't been effect and he seems so resilient, but my heart hurts knowing what he's been through, although he hasn't said in detail and said he's really excited to come and live with us and can't wait, we had him for the weekend and he was great, he's due to move in on the 26th.

I'm just awaiting to see what social services plan to do now and how it will all go.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Decante

Thank you very much for your updating post.

It is good news that your son was home at the weekend which went really well and that he was due to move home with you on the 26th. So hopefully, that has already happened.

I am sorry to hear that there is more information now about the abuse your son is alleged to have suffered. This is very distressing for you. There is an ongoing police investigation.

At present, the special guardians agree with your son living with you but this will be formalised when children’s services take the matter to court under care proceedings. They intend seeking an interim supervision order which will mean that they must stay involved while the order is in place but it will not give them parental responsibility for your son. You may then wish to ask the court to end the SGO.

You already have a solicitor as you were in a Public Law Outline process prior to this current situation so hopefully you will have consistent legal representation during the care proceedings too. You are very keen to apply to end the special guardianship order but your solicitor recommends that children’s services begin court proceedings as this will be timelier. Please continue to liaise closely with your solicitor about the proposed plans for your son to ensure that your views are properly shared.

I hope that an assessment of your support needs and your son’s has been undertaken and that there is a plan of support in place. You should let the social worker know what you may need now that your son is returning to your care.

You are unsure why one of the special guardians continues to have contact with your son despite the allegations of abuse and her lack of attention to him. This is because the special guardian still has parental responsibility for your son and they have a duty to promote contact. They would need the court’s permission to stop contact fully. Contact arrangements will be fully considered as part of the court process. Children’s services will need to plan and review contact carefully prior to this. The social worker should consider your son’s emotional needs but if there is specific help you think he will need, despite him appearing resilient, do ask the social worker if it can be arranged.

I can see that there is a lot for you to deal with at present. You could ask for a family group conference to harness your family and friends’ support network and to see how they can help you care for your son.

Please do post back with any queries or updates. If you prefer you can call the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 a.m. to 3.000 p.m. (except bank holidays) or use our advice enquiry form or webchat facility.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Decante]

Hi Suzie,
Thank you for this, we past the parenting assessment, we got my son on the 26th. Social worker said that we can sort out contact and how much or how little they can have, at the moment I've said I want him settled and reassured that it's fine for him to be upset, sad, she said that maybe it's worth exploring u don't think he fully understands what has happened but he has suffered a lot. Id mentioned to him about contact and maybe arranging days for video contact, he doesn't seem keen or talk about it, I said it would be for them to contact him and not the other way round, I mentioned this to the social worker and she agreed, although I've only heard from one of the special guardians who asks how he is doing and settling in the other one I haven't but I had sent on update to her.

It's so awkward and hard, because I'm pushing for legal proceedings because he thinks he's only here a short while. My solicitor has also expressed that although it's good both SGs agree they could change their minds any time and social will have to legally abide by their wishes.

We have support from the foster carers that had my son who wished to stay in contact, we have family on hand to help support as well as his new school, im looking into places that could help also. I would of thought that for a young child social services and the school would of got him some emotional and mental support. I know they said they were going to see weather they can get in touch with local social services in the area to see if they'll pop out and do checks etc but this is something I could do with out just because I don't want him to feel like he's going to be taken away, etc but she said that's up to north Tyne side they don't have to do this.

So if legal proceedings go ahead and the SGO gets discharged, what happens to contact then, he's been brought up to call SGO mums and there two younger children as brothers and the mother and father of one of the SGs grandma and grandad who actually still wishes my son calls them that even if the SGO gets discharged.

There is so much going on at the moment I am at a loss on how to approach things with my son and everyone else.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Decante

Thank you for updating post. It must be nice for you to have your son in care after all he has experienced living with the special guardians.

Regarding the issue of contact, it seems tome that this should have been considered by the social worker as part of the transition plan for your son to be in your care and a schedule put in place to, for example, come into play when your son is ready for contact. As the special guardianship order is still in place it could be an issue since their parental responsibility is over and above yours.

I think you are right to say it should be child centred and led by your son’s needs. Contact is for the benefit of the child not the adult.

Your solicitor is correct, to ensure your son remains in your care, you should consider applying for permission to apply to discharge the special guardianship order. The court, if your application is successful go on to make a child arrangement order for your son to live with you. Please see information on our website relating to special guardianship and what it means for birth parents HERE

If your son is till on a child protection plan, then the local authority should transfer the case to the new authority. If not, and there is a child in need plan, then they should inform them of their involvement, so the new authority is aware that child now in their area. The new authority will carry out their own assessment to decide if they need to continue being involved. I understand you do not want children’s services involved but, as you know, it is what if best for your son. A social worker would be able to deal sensitively with your son to reassure him.

The social worker should arrange for your son to receive support, the special guardians still have the right to agree to this happening because of their parental responsibility and, if he under a child in need or child protection plan his needs should be provided for under either of therm.

Should the special guardianship order be discharged, then contact would be for you to agree and how that contact should happen. The court may make an order if the special guardians apply for contact. Whether or not your son has contact with them or the persons he knows as grandparents can be considered based on his wishes.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Decante]

So in regards to special guardians and the people he calls grandparents, my son despite us encouraging speaking about them he avoids it, he doesn't want to message them he doesn't want to engage in conversation, he doesnt ask about them or when he is seeing them.

I did agree to the 'grandparents' that they could call, but told the SGs that contact will be arranged when the social worker comes up to see us, they agreed to this, but last night grandparents rang and the perpetrator was at theirs they didn't let me know and she new of the situation on what was happening. My son's reaction was like he was scared looked for reassurance didn't know what to say. I wanted to better to prepare him to seeing her.

I let the social worker know what has happened and that I wasn't to happy that the 'grandparents' failed to inform me that she was their as they were told off the social worker contact would happen eventually.

In reguards to future contact, I the SGO ended they would no longer have PR for him so from what I'm told wouldn't really have rights to contact. Although I would keep contact with his aunty but wouldn't be much.

Social worker said that the local authority we are in have a choice to take it on or not but as social services weren't directly involved with me or my partner as there is no concerns they could refuse as he's only placed here because he had been removed from the SGS.

The only other thing I really don't like is the way the call my son 'X' he stated to them he isn't a girl, the SG apparently brought him up as Non binary dressed him up in girls clothes as well paint his nails.

Another complicated factor, I've just found out am pregnant too, although early stages I don't know what happens and if social would be come involved that way I mean it has been 8 years since last had social services and we passed out assessment for my son. We had been trying but actually didn't think it would happen it seems with all the stuff happened and my son coming to live with us was when it was conceived, my partner wanted a child too, we had brief conversations with both children as the social worker suggested exploring their thoughts and feelings, my son said if it happened he'd like the idea as long as they don't be like his aunties 2 children it was explained that baby need a lot of time and attention but that doesn't mean they wouldn't get any and they would all be treat the same. He's said that when the SG mentioned there were to have their own it wasn't until she only has a few weeks left that she mentioned it to him so he didn't have time to adjust to the situation. I haven't said I'm pregnant yet.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

So in regards to special guardians and the people he calls grandparents, my son despite us encouraging speaking about them he avoids it, he doesn't want to message them he doesn't want to engage in conversation, he doesnt ask about them or when he is seeing them.

I did agree to the 'grandparents' that they could call, but told the SGs that contact will be arranged when the social worker comes up to see us, they agreed to this, but last night grandparents rang and the perpetrator was at theirs they didn't let me know and she new of the situation on what was happening. My son's reaction was like he was scared looked for reassurance didn't know what to say. I wanted to better to prepare him to seeing her.

I let the social worker know what has happened and that I wasn't to happy that the 'grandparents' failed to inform me that she was their as they were told off the social worker contact would happen eventually.

In reguards to future contact, I the SGO ended they would no longer have PR for him so from what I'm told wouldn't really have rights to contact. Although I would keep contact with his aunty but wouldn't be much.

Social worker said that the local authority we are in have a choice to take it on or not but as social services weren't directly involved with me or my partner as there is no concerns they could refuse as he's only placed here because he had been removed from the SGS.

The only other thing I really don't like is the way the call my son 'X' he stated to them he isn't a girl, the SG apparently brought him up as Non binary dressed him up in girls clothes as well paint his nails.

Another complicated factor, I've just found out am pregnant too, although early stages I don't know what happens and if social would be come involved that way I mean it has been 8 years since last had social services and we passed out assessment for my son. We had been trying but actually didn't think it would happen it seems with all the stuff happened and my son coming to live with us was when it was conceived, my partner wanted a child too, we had brief conversations with both children as the social worker suggested exploring their thoughts and feelings, my son said if it happened he'd like the idea as long as they don't be like his aunties 2 children it was explained that baby need a lot of time and attention but that doesn't mean they wouldn't get any and they would all be treat the same. He's said that when the SG mentioned there were to have their own it wasn't until she only has a few weeks left that she mentioned it to him so he didn't have time to adjust to the situation. I haven't said I'm pregnant yet.

Dear Decante

Thank you for your update.

Perhaps a conversation with the social worker about your plans for future contact will be helpful. It may be wise to ask the social worker to check and update your son’s reunification plan too.

You have all been through many changes in recently, your son might benefit from some counselling or therapy – appropriate to this age: this is something you could raise with the social worker. Young Minds has some helpful information on their website, you can read it here.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, here for your information are our webpages for parents to be.

Best wishes
Suzie

[Decante]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you again, so update PLO meeting on the 22nd social worker came up, and she said how happy he is, I said he is happy but he's masking rather alot she wants to go down legal procesedinh route as SGs failed there parenting assessment, she stated that currently police want to question my son in regards to the home conditions and DV he also has been a victim of DV too, social worker said she heard some really horrible voice recordings, although these can't be used as evidence as the perpetrator wasn't aware it was being recorded on one of the recording it was heard that my son's aunts partner (perpetrator) had said she really hated my son and despises him and his circumstance came in between them and their own sons being a family.

Social worker told 'grandparents' that the perp shouldn't be on video call, only because I wanted to prepare him and support him seeing her, anyways he was let down by the grand parents and his aunty as they were both meant to ring, he asked me to chase it up and I said I wouldn't do that. Social worker said that she asking for an interim supervision order where I can ask for the SGO to be discharged, although she recommends that contact with the 'grandparents' still remain, he doesn't want to see the perp and said texting is fine. I said if my son was something to them then they let him down despite if they felt offended that the perp couldn't be on the same call.

Social worker asked my son if he wanted to see her he proceeded to. Say yes but he is a people pleaser he also puts everyone else's feelings above his own, although I'm not quite sure he understands what's happened and what the perp did was wrong he assumes she did it because she loved and cared for him. He also finds it difficult to say how he feels so we did some spider diagrams, we talked about the home conditions, what it was like with both SGS the future and his feelings now towards the SGs he found this much easier and also helped him to open up about a few things, although the stuff he said I was quite upset but tried not to show it. Its hard to believe the people social services trusted in the first place which I begged and pleased not to has let him become a victim, we've explained to him that one person can't be to blame yes what the perp did to his aunty was wrong but she is just as much responsible for the home conditions than the perp is, and she still allowed the abuse towards him continue, the perp hit him, swore at him blames him for splitting the family up, the mess was his fault, and it was his fault they had no food in and they chose to send him to holiday clubs which cost money too they sent him to them so they could be a 'family' with there sons.

Social worker said that my son could stay at his 'grandparents' but he says he doesn't want to and would only go if my partner and I was their plus as the perp is their daughter she could turn up at anytime and he said he wouldn't feel safe, they are aim to get the first court date by end of May, so fingers crossed everything will end.

I just don't believe that the perp after the SGO is cancelled should have a right to see him or her family they aren't birth family and are only family through marriage. I didn't agree that the SGs allowed him to call them grandma and grandad he should of been corrected about this as he was 2 when he went down, they told him my family let him down didn't bother with him but that wasn't the case my dad has been seriously ill over the years, he use to drive places now he can't leave the house he can't travel,my mum hadn't been well we nearly lost both my mum and dad at one point at different times, they blocked them on social media they hid their numbers I've had to sit and tell them this, he was told when he stated at, the perps parents that family will only bother now because he's come back to me.