Please, Urgent Help Needed!

[lou07]

Hi,
We have 2 children aged 4 & 12 and have a ICPC meeting in 2 days.
Child 12 is currently in his second year of college and is being bullied since day the beginning. He would come home upset, damage to uniform and belongings, bruises, missing money etc
He has raised multiple complaints with teachers and Head Teacher but no one has done an investigation. Child over the past year and a half has developed a bad behaviour towards school, home and only find his comfort in gaming where he's having an addiction.
3 weeks ago, child 12 comes home yet with another detention due to incomplete homework and blamed on parents for not giving enough screen time.
We spoke to him and gave him some time to finish the homework whilst we prepare dinner until we heard a loud bang on the first floor.
Dad goes up to check and found child 12 on the floor. Asked what happened, child said he fell down whilst spinning on the chair. Dad checked his laptop and realised he was gaming instead of doing his homework. Dad told him off and said he will ban him from all gaming if homework is not completed and one more negative or detention.
Child 12 goes to school the next day, we noticed a bruise on the cheek and asked how he sustained it, he said when he fell.
The following week, child 12 receives a negative and lied to the teacher by saying he dad had hit him and this has triggered social services to get involved. 2 days later, child 12 confesses that he lied and was lead by his friends to lie about his dad so that legally, dad won't be able to stop him from gaming.
Now, we have received reports from health visitors, head teacher of child 4, hospital who assessed bruises of child 12 and all concluded his bruises was as a result of inflicted rather than accidental. That week of the fall from the chair, Child was bullied and pushed into a bush and sustained bruises and had a limp for several days including the day he fell off his chair. Dad sent an email to school the next day to report the incident.
Dad has never hit him however they have shown concerns to something in the past where Dad & Mum had a row and Mum called the police to say she was hit by dad but it never happened and no charges was pressed.
How can we defend ourselves?
Apology for the long details but this has caused us so much distress where all the authorities have made serious false allegation against us!

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Lou07,

Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.

You say you have 2 children, aged 4 and 12 and that a initial child protection conference has taken place. Your 12 year old child has been bullied at school and despite multiple complaints being made to the headteacher, nothing was done. You say he has developed challenging behaviour and has developed a gaming addiction. 3 weeks ago, there was an incident in which you say your son was supposed to be doing his homework, and fell off his chair. His father realised he had been gaming and told him off. Your son went to school the next day and you noticed a bruise which he said was from falling off the chair. The next week, your son received a 'negative' at school and told that the teacher that his father had hit him. Children's services became involved and your sin then said that he had lied about this to prevent his father from stopping him gaming. The bruises on your older child have been assessed by hospital, who say that these were not accidental. You say that the week he had fallen off the chair, he has been pushed into a bush at school and had bruises, which were reported to school. You say that there are concerns about a previous incident between you and your children's father in which the police were called and you alleged he had hit you, although you say that did not happen. You want to know how you can 'defend' yourselves.'

By the time of this reply, the initial child protection may have already taken place and you will likely know whether your children have been placed on a child protection plan, or not.

It is important for you to acknowledge that children's services must taken your son's disclosure seriously. They may be concerned that even if he has since said he was 'lying,' this may be under pressure to do so. Furthermore, they must take seriously the medical assessment that states your son sustained afflicted injuries. Based on the evidence, and the opinion of other professionals, the child protection chair will have decided whether the threshold for 'significant harm' has been met. You mention a previous domestic incident, which you say did not happen, but again, children's services may be concerned that your minimising or denying what occurred.

If your children have been placed on a child protection plan, it is useful for you to work with the other professionals to make some positive changes and to get the support your family may need. This could include support with your son's behaviour, gaming addiction and positive parenting strategies. Of course, it is important that your views are heard too and that this is a collaborative plan with you as a family.

If you are concerned that the assessment or conference was conducted unfairly, and that you have been misrepresented, you may want to consider making a formal complaint to children's services. Please see here for more information on how you can do this.

Best wishes,

Suzie.