Can I have advice please

[Kayohkid]

Hi I have recently split with my ex partner of 6 years 6 weeks ago as she kicked me out. She has 4 kids in total (2 of which are mine). We had a incident in October where I got arrested as the police thought we was having a domestic violence. Since then the police have rung me and told me they have no further action required. She has since told me social services are involved in our kids lives but they haven't contacted me and she has told me they have been having meetings with her for a while now and that I can't go into her property. She is not letting me see my kids only when it suits her (so no structure). She is with a new partner now and I have told her to only contact me about arrangements for the children but her and her partner keep hurasing me. I have told her that I need me belongs out of the house she has agreed to let me have it but not said a date or when. Please could you give me some advice on this situation on what steps to take next as I really don't know my rights thank you.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Kayohkid

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I am sorry that we have not been able to reply sooner.

It is very likely that children’s services did become involved with your children (and your ex-partner’s children) as a result of the police attending and arresting you in response to a concern about domestic violence. In these situations, the police make a referral to children’s services so that they can make an assessment of the children’s welfare. This is because research shows that witnessing domestic violence can be very harmful for children. The damage it causes is specifically included in the legal definition of significant harm.

Children’s Services’ should have contacted you, as you are the father of two of the children, if they are involved in assessing or if there is any plan in place for them. It would be a good idea for you to contact children’s services directly, give your children’s details and ask to speak to their social worker so that you can be properly involved.

Although the police have not proceeded with their investigation, children’s services may still be worried about a potential risk of domestic violence, even now that you and your ex-partner have separated. They may well have advised that you should not attend her property. It sounds as if you are having some contact with your children but I don’t know if this is being supervised or not. Again where there is a concern about possible domestic violence children’s services will often recommend that contact is supervised or there is a safe handover arrangement in place so as to reduce the risk of any conflict. It is important for you to know what children’s services' current role or view is about this so it would be best to contact them to find out. This would also mean that they take into account all that you may do to support, help and care for your children too.

We have some FAQs for fathers on domestic violence that you might find helpful.

If you are feeling harassed or threatened in any way by your ex-partner and her new partner you may want to get some legal advice from a solicitor or talk to the police if necessary.

You can also get some private law advice about the problems you are having seeing your children from Child Law Advice or a solicitor. I think it would be best if you find out more about what plans children’s services are recommending for your children first though. This is because they may have to provide a report to court if you need to apply for a child arrangements order to see your children.

I hope this is helpful. If you would like to speak to an adviser about your situation please call our freephone helpline 0808 801 0366 to discuss – the line is open Mon- Fri, from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (excluding bank holidays).

With best wishes

Suzie