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Need advice

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 4:30 pm
by Muminneedofadvice
Hi i need some advice on what my chances are returning home to my partner with my baby.

Social services put me into a mother and baby placement since the day my daughter was born, I have been here for currently 8 weeks. They did this to do assments on my and my partner as I put my hands up our criminal convictions are a concern. Please remember we have no convictions involving domestic abuse or involving children. They are just petty crimes. I was off the railss when I was younger, I haven't committed an offence for 5 years since me and my partner become a couple, his convictions are the same as mine.

I have had no restrictions in the placement and all our assments have me posative regarding contact, face to face and my placement.

My social worker told myself , my partner, my careers social worker and my soclistor I would be returning home on the 21st of December 2018, during this time contact would change to supervised to supported to unsupervised to then transition. We are currently at supported for the past 2 weeks 6 hours a week.

My social worker made a mistake telling everyone involved I would be returning home, this is now made unsupervised contact not happen and unfortunately I shall not be returning home with my baby to my partner for the 21st, they have decided my placement ends on the 21st at the mother and baby placement so me and my baby can return home to carry out the remaining assessments in the community to wether I can protect my daughter against my partner. They also want him to see a crimal physiologist. My partner got into the group 9f people when he was 17 years old and got sent to prison for an 18 month youth detention order for abh. He's now a 35 year old man. They are also using his arrests which he was not prosecuted for as a concern. Social worker have said they see he worships the grounds of his baby and is protective over her.

Now they want me to go in the community back home but them doing this meens my partner has no where to go, and I littrtly mean no where. He has mental health which is managed and doesn't affect him being a parent and doesn't deem him violent. It's an emotionally mental health. The house we got was through the council by his mental health.

Can social find him a placement to temporarily stay until the final say as I know they don't care about our feelings they are concerned about the child but surely they can't chuck someone out with mental health and expect them to stay sane for assessments and contact. Anyone without a mental health being made homeless would cause there mental health to go down hill.

I also want to add my child's paper work from child protection meeting has been stolen out of a chair women's car, it was paper based in her laptop bag which was taken so someone is walking around with our information.

Iv had no apology for being told I'm going home to them deciding it not going to happen.

How can they have concerns when my partner is left alone in a room with his baby unsupervised?

The whole process has been mentally draining.

Can social services say my parter cannot longer live with me and our baby forever even though he's never hurt a child, never had a domestic violent relationship, no drink or drugs issue they are only going on an offence from 18 years ago. I know they are saying they want to know he would never act violent in front of our baby but this is way over the top to some cases.


Re: Need advice

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 6:55 pm
by Miserylovescompany2

Is this going through the courts? That is my first question. Because a complaint would go via your solicitor if so - there are stringent laws around how data is stored. This needs addressing forthwith. If your solicitor minimises this then find a new one. Have sensitive data in the hands of some random person is not acceptable. Was this reported to the police. This was theft...

Second set of questions - does your partner have legal representation? Is he being supported by MH professionals? Could they assist in writing reports that back his current MH is stable and managed. What has your partner done in the interim since is conviction. Was there any rehabilitation programme or courses he attended. If MH supported in securing a home could they assist again?

The error the SW has made is not a small one. He/she should of had times of supervision with their manager. Also, it's the IRO's job to ensure the SW is doing what they are supposed to do. I would ask for the reasoning behind the change of plan to be put in writing. I would also request a meeting with the manager to discuss your grievances further.

I am simply a parent like yourself. I hope my response is helpful. I didn't want to read and run.

Re: Need advice

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 8:02 pm
by Muminneedofadvice
Hi yes court is on the 19th to see what plans are happening... They want me to go into the community with my daughter from mother and baby placement. They are wanting me to return home but my partner needs to move out till assments have carried out... The main applicant for the house is my partner so I don't know if they can make him leave so not sure wether social will have to find me accommodation.

They are saying they are wanting him to see a physocolist for an assessment... He's had his physiatrist who's obviously got highee qualifications write a report all the way from his mother being pregnant to his life now, his upbringing, his schooling, his behaviour ect really detailed but apprently this is not good enough for social. He's already been diagnosed with boarderline emotional personality disorder over a year ago and manges it well. So why does social need a report from a physocolist?

He has a good solicitor yes
The documents was reported to the police but because they was parked outside their house on a residential road there is no cctv.
He is being supported by his physicist as I mentioned above with his report, they even stated how he is no danger to myself and our child. But social deem its not good enough.

I am doing a formal complaint to be taken to court with the confidential information being stolen and with how they have said I'm going home to changing their minds.. But this is not being done until 9ur family case has been complete as I'm not having local authority jeopardise our case over a complaint, my solicitor is behind me with the complaint.

Mental health assisting my partner with accommodation was a long road and they've gave us a 2 week mark to resolve this matter.

Re: Need advice

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2018 9:39 pm
by Miserylovescompany2
Do you know if a phycologist has been chosen as of yet? The reason I ask is if so you would be able to Google their name and find out what they specialise in. If your partner already has already had an extremely thorough assessment done and has been given a definitive diagnosis. I would seek legal clarification on whether another report is necessary. You would ordinarily expect a report to be requested if there were no previous assessment. I am pleased to hear your partners psychiatrist is supportive - this and the report should be viewed as a positive. I would be inclined to ask CS what is it that they feel is lacking in the existing report - could the current psychiatrist provide further clarity on what they feel is currently not covered?

A two week timeframe is not realistic. If the property was secured for your partner in the first instance CS can not expect him to magic up alternative living arrangements in such an unrealistic time slot. Nor can they expect a new mother to do the same.

Does your child have an appointed guardian? If so, what are their thoughts?

Is there a plan B if housing situation can't be rectified?

Can I ask if your solicitor is advising you not to complain at this point? Because I assumed they were supposed raise any ongoing concerns during proceedings on your behalf. Sorry if I have picked that up wrongly. The reason I ask is because my own solicitor sat on copious amounts of relevant information and things that should of been challenged and addressed never were.

If I were you I'd phone the FRG free phone number at your earliest opportunity and ask their advice. Sometimes you have to wait for Suzie FRG online adviser to give her response. Unfortunately she isn't always able to answer every post. You can give the telephone advisers your name etc if you wish and they will keep a record of each time you call. I have found their advice very beneficial. I think it's important to get the advice and viewpoint of as many people as possible. If for nothing more than to keep yourself sane. I hope you are being supported through this? I guess sometimes it is best to think of this period of your life as a chapter that will soon move on to the next...

I know when I was in the midst of proceedings with my son (different circumstances than your own) I kept repeating in my mind "This too shall pass."

Re: Need advice

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 1:01 am
by Muminneedofadvice
Our solicitors have gave the local authority a time limit since Tuesday to write up a plan to be produced for tomorrow which will be Friday... Wether they go on still asking my partner to see a physocolist we won't know till then so no name has been given as of yet. It makes me panicky though as I know Cs pay thousands for a independent one as they don't like to use NHS which in my mind they work for the social services so they can really mess this up for us... I really can't get my head around how they can 'diagnose 'you with an appointment that can last up to half hour...

Apperntly my partners physicist report doesn't detail his conviction that dated back 18 years ago . It does state he is no violent and no danger to be around myself and our baby. How is that not good enough.. It will only be good enough when they have a report that is negative in my eyes.

If they still want to go in depth about conviction surely they can have the papers from the court etc?

Yes my baby has a guardian. I still need to meet her, only had telephone conversation... She is not happy with how children services has handled out situation being unprofessional but because the local authority has not updated our paper work to do with our assessments ect of how good we have progressed in a quick time scale of 8 weeks she has only seen the paper work from the first conference which states the local authority ls concerns which anyone would know makes us sound like monsters and very dramatic. So she hasn't got a say yet.

They have raised concerns at the meeting on Tuesday about the confidential information being took, saying I'm going home then not but not informing us of this and also since being in the placement there has been a few issues with the careers as for just one example the career was stood over me while I was feeding my 5 week old daughter shouting at me becoming frustrated. An emergency meeting was made to do with this and local authority canceled it and the issue was never resolved, another issue was the carers Foster child who's now 21 walked into the room Iv been sleeping in with my child since being here while I was getting myself a drink from kitchen and without my consent picked up my 3 week old baby and woke her up. Also my child suffers with reflux I made an appointment with gp to resolve this to be given an appointment at 3. 20 pm for my career to turn around to say she couldn't drive me as she refuses to drive after 3 pm this was the only form of transport, the carer has also been unprofessional and inappropriate to me I front of a social worker at contact which was wrote down and none of these complaints got resolved like I said, my child's safe guarding from the Foster career in the mother and baby placement in my eyes was failed.

If Children services pull a fast one and say I can't protect my child from its father for any reason so we have to live apart permanently when they have made their decision, how can they expect me to protect them from anyone is my question?

I really can't get my head around what they are playing at.

Re: Need advice

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 8:11 am
by Miserylovescompany2
I understand exactly where you are coming from with regard to these reports written after seeing someone in person for a very short time frame. No, I do not hold the belief someone can be diagnosed with a disorder without a thorough assessment. It is alarming how many people are labelled during proceedings. These labels are for the most part given to vulnerable females who also tick the majority of boxes for Autism. Unfortunately these professionals do not understand how a female presents as an adult. I, myself was maliciously labeled with a personality disorder - not by a phycologist but by a CPN who I had only met 4 times. An underhand conversation between the CPN and another was recorded in the paperwork submitted by CS to a review conference in October last year. I challenged this and guess what? Nothing was done. The CPN give a disingenuous apology not for saying it...because it was printed without his consent? The very same CPN who outright refused to show what work he had covered with my son. It later transpired he had no understanding of Autism! I have never had a CPN :/ it is truly amazing what these people conjure up out their backsides. To give context - I asked what his credentials were.

CS need to justify why they are doing what they are doing with regard to your partner. In there view a violent crime committed whilst someone was young obviously = they couldn't possibly of changed, evolved or learnt how to self regulate. Lets face it CS don't present the court with anything positive to secure an interim order. There will be an objective which is to discredit.

CS have a history of submitting paperwork as close to the deadline as humanly possible. Sometimes on the actual day! We had the solicitor representing CS coming up with various excuses - oh, I do apologise my computer died. That excuse was used twice. He left before proceedings were complete in my case.

Have you made the Guardian aware of all your concerns re foster carer and her daughter? I would phone your GP and have that added to yours and your daughter medical record. For you - you are very concerned that if your daughter needs medical help after 3pm the foster carer will refuse to drive. For your daughter - you are being thwarted from attending necessary appointments therefore causing your child unnecessary suffering as a direct result. I would put your concerns in writing also and send them to the IRO. The foster carer's foster daughter has no business touching your child without consent from you!

It sounds like you are heading in the right direction. CS need something negative to prevent your partner residing with you and his daughter. They (CS) will have to prove on the balance of probability that he poses a danger.

Could the current psychiatrist cover the actual conviction in an additional report? It's worth asking?

Re: Need advice

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:06 pm
by Muminneedofadvice
What do you meen when you say I'm heading in the right direction?

Re: Need advice

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 2:50 pm
by Miserylovescompany2
You are doing everything you can to show you can meet your child's need. That fact that a decision was made and a date given showed you are heading in the right direction. So unless something major has happened then you should be given the opportunity to take your daughter home.

Children's services are the ones slowing the process down. They need to provide a reason for this. You shouldn't be left in limbo. Hopefully you will have a definitive answer and clear plan of action on your next court date.

Even if it is just you and the baby with a level of supervision that is better than residing in the current placement. You and your partner can work on the other parts later. I know that isn't an ideal plan. It could be a reality though.

Keep the end goal in focus. That is working towards you all being a family together.

Re: Need advice

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 4:19 pm
by Muminneedofadvice
They are making the excuse more assessments need to be done, risk assessments apprently. I remember my social worker sitting me down and explaining what assessment she was about to do and it was the assessment to see if I am my daughters protective factor. So I don't see what the problem is. As I said we've had such posative feed back to the point I did get a date to return home. There original supervisor has gone on maternity leave and a new one has taken over so I have a feeling they have put a stop to it..

Im so heartbroken, I don't know how they expect us parents to have no feelings and act like our mental health isn't getting affected because they end up persecuting you if you slip when they're cause it.

There is so many family's out there that are getting away with alot worse and the social know about, I for one myself is witnessing this.

Have you got your son back?

Iv been doing so much resesrch into finding a case where a family had a happy ending but can not find one.

Re: Need advice

Posted: Fri Dec 07, 2018 5:41 pm
by Miserylovescompany2
Of course you are going to both be devastated - who wouldn't be. A date given from then onwards you would have been counting down the days. It is not good enough that this has been put off because assessments are not complete. They (CS) are working within timeframes. Both the solicitor for your partner and yourself need to be establishing and then explaining what are the particular risk(s) that still require assessing at this point in time.

Would an assessment of risk not of been undertaken prior to an initial date being given? Otherwise you are working backwards. The social worker should of had the previous plan signed off by a manager. So what changed in the interim. If this is to do with a change in contact supervisor and something negative has been mentioned - you should be made aware so whatever the concern was/is you or your partner have the opportunity to challenge or rectify. If you don't know what the problem is then how can you fix it?

No, I have not got my son back. He was removed last year under the category of beyond parental control. Near the end of proceedings I changed my position and stated I was no longer in a position to meet his needs. I had been told verbally by SW and IRO that they were going to add my other two children to the proceedings. My solicitor was not even made aware. If you click on my username all my previous posts will be available to read. My battle is still ongoing with no end in sight.

My 17 and 3.5yo are still living at home. They were signed off on 23/05/18 with no further involvement. Since I have placed a number of complaints against CS the fun and games have started again.