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Post by heartbroken80 » Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:18 pm


I am a single mum to a gorgeous two year old.
2 weeks ago today I made a big mistake. I had gone to see my mum. I suffer from a slipped disc in my back which causes me severe back pain occasionally.
This particular day ( was actually a Saturday) I knew my mum had some muscle relaxants. I took two, 40 minutes later it wasn't working so I took another two, they helped a bit but I stupidly decided to take another two.
I started vomiting severely and my legs felt funny.
I got a taxi back home with my mum and son.
The next thing I remember was being woken up in intensive care. The nurse said I took too many tablets.
I was so confused.
My boyfriend who also came back that night had called 999 as my breathing was not good, I was rushed in with a very slow heart beat.
Anyway, I later found out my son was on a childrens ward, I was so confused. I didn't remember anything.
Apparantly the paramedics had come and found a mattress in my hallway soaking. They had found tablets on the floor around my son lying on the floor and also a red wine vinegat bottle on the floor.
However, when I spoke to my mum and boyfriend they explained that my mum had thrown water over m head qhich soaked a mattress I was going to dump.
The tablets was aa my boyfriend was asked on the phone to check what tablets I may have taken so he emptied my bag.
My son was being looked after the whole time and disn't witness anything until the paramedics came.
The red wine vinegar was because I must have confused it with a drink as I vomited itup and it has traces of alcohol in.
They found slight traces of alcohol which is odd as I hardly ever drink.
Anyway, the paramedics did an urgent MASH referral and I was told that if I didn't agree then they would remove him by force.
I was then told it could be a criminal.matter. The police have realised that there are explanations to everything.
My key worker has said my home is normally clean and my care of my son good and my GP has said he has NO concerns, he wrote a three page letter and told them.he hopes they will return my son as that is the only concern he has. He said my son is in good health and I always put his needs ahead of my own.
My son is currently with my sister on a supposed voluntary care order.
I understand.they saw a situation and jumped to conclusions but surely with the evidence they can tell my son is not at risk from me.
I miss him so much, I only get supervised visits with everything written down.
He is no longer happy as he used to be and when I leave he sobs.
I yet have to be interviewed, however the police said the believe me.
What ia going to happen? I can't take this anymore.
Thank you.

*****Edited by Suzie to prevent a breach of confidentiality

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:39 pm

Dear Heartbroken80

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Board and thank you for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are having.

In the situation that you describe it is not unusual that a referral was made to Children’s Services. It sounds like a confusing time during which your little boy was present although you explain that he was being looked after throughout. Even so he may well have been worried about you. You mention that he was on a children’s ward so there may have been some concerns about his health too.

The police’s role is to investigate if there is a possibility that a crime may have been committed. It sounds as if you have had some discussions with the police but not an interview yet. We don’t advise on the role of the police but you can check with them or get advice from a criminal lawyer about this.

Children’s Services have a broader responsibility and are the lead agency when it comes to protecting children. Their job is to make sure that your son is safe and well and they should work with you to ensure this. You may find it helpful to look at FRG’s advice sheets on child protection procedures and family support as they explain in detail about these processes.

You mention that you have a key worker. Is this because you have some particular needs of your own or a disability?

It is very encouraging that both your key worker and your GP have been positive about your care of your son and this should be acknowledged in the social worker’s assessment. However, as you mention in your post Children’s Services responded to a situation; they now must look into it in more detail.

Your son is currently being cared for by his aunt. I think this may be under a “voluntary” section 20 arrangement rather than a "voluntary" care order as a care order temporary or otherwise could only be made if the family court was involved in care proceedings and made this decision.

If the arrangement is a section 20 this means that you have parental responsibility for your son and Children’s Services don’t and that your son is looked after in the care system, (in your son’s case being cared for by your sister) with your agreement, instead of a court order. It is important that you check this with the social worker urgently and that your son’s plan is discussed and agreed with you and reviewed.

A parent can take their child out of section 20 accommodation but if Children’s Services think this would harm the child and want him to stay living away from home they could seek a court order. It is best not to remove your child without the agreement of the social worker unless you have taken independent legal advice from a childcare lawyer.

It must be hard having supervised contact with your son. Although difficult this can also be a way that you can show your relationship with your son and how you care for him. Do ask for feedback and make sure that you know how and when the contact arrangements will be reviewed.

You can find out more about the regulations which apply in Family Rights Group’s duties on children’s services when children are in the care system advice sheet and also more in the contact for accommodated children advice sheet.

It is stressful being in this situation and not knowing exactly what will happen especially when you are involved in a couple of different processes. The best thing to do is to keep working with the social worker and asking them to keep you regularly updated. There are some tips about working with a social worker here to assist you,.

You might want to think about whether a family group conference (FGC) might be helpful to you, so that as a family you could come up with a family plan to help you care for your son safely and to satisfy any concerns that Children’s Services might have.

If you would like to discuss your situation with a Family Rights Group adviser please ring the Freephone advice line 0808 8010366 between 9.30 and 3.00 Mon- Fri.

With best wishes


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Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 10:24 pm


Post by heartbroken80 » Wed Jul 19, 2017 8:58 pm

Dear Suze,

Thank you for your reply.

My key worker is only as my son attends groups so you get a key worker each.
Since I posted this I have had the pregnancy proceedings paper. I have seen this with my lawyer and he has said that it is a witch hunt.
The social worker has blatantly lied about me. She has said that during my pregnancy I misused over the counter and prescribed medication, this is false.
I was prescibed tramadol through my pregnancy and only took what was prescribed.
She has lied and said that my son witnessed domestic abuse between his father and I.
She has claimed that my son who has slight development delay is because of Tramadol or that it is due to not going on and mixing with other children, this is rubbish.
Even people who work with the groups my son attends have seen me out very often with my son.
She claims I smoke in front of my son, again this is false, I have never smoked in front of my son.
She has brought up a sexual assault that I suffered when I was 14, I don't see how that has anything to do with my care of my son.
She claims that I don't fulfill my son's emotional needs, that is odd as my GP who has known me 6 years disagrees.
This social worker is trying to discredit me as a bad mother which is completely false.

My son was only put on the children's ward to make sure that he hadn't taken any medication, which he hadn't as he had been supervised.

I am disgusted at how this social worker can literally make up things to try and keep my son from me.
Surely this is not right. She has NO evidence what so ever.

I am having a pre proceedings meeting tomorrow with my lawyer and legal assistant but they want to talk to me before about my options as they think that it may be best to withdraw consent and go to court.

I'm so distressed and deeply upset.

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