dv court case looming

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curliesue2
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2015 9:37 pm

dv court case looming

Post by curliesue2 » Mon Sep 14, 2015 4:45 pm

I have a dv court case looming next week against my partner. He has been on bail since May this year with conditions of no contact (which he has kept too). We are both quite big drinkers and was something that got out of hand, I called police, gave statement, retracted and have regreted calling them ever since.
We have 3 children who are all on CPP (I am totally ashamed) I have attended the dv courses they wanted me too, enrolled myself to quit drinking( I haven't drank since May) and have recently started councelling (for something not relevant to this). Me and the children have remained in the family home with him still paying the mortgage, he has self referred to address alcohol issues and has agreed to start attending a DARA programme (as we both wish to reconcile), he sees the children every single Sunday and that is very positive too.
The children miss him dearly and so do I.
I have agreed to do the DARA programme too.
I really do not want to go to court to give evidence, I want to put this all behind us and address our issues and reconcile. I am seriously thinking of not going to court but I have been told that SS could use it against me as not safeguarding my children.
I'm confused as I have spoken to some solicitors and they say different things.
I don't want to ruin things when things are going very positive.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: dv court case looming

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Sep 16, 2015 11:16 am

Dear curliesue

Welcome to the Family Rights Group’s Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie and I am an Adviser at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are feeling scared and worried about the forthcoming trial of your partner following a domestic violence incident. It must be very difficult for you when you are both trying to sort yourselves out now.

Unfortunately, you have not given enough information about whether Children Services has told you that you and your partner cannot get back together or have any contact. If they are willing to work with you both and carry out a risk assessment to find out what risk there is to the children if your partner returns to the home, then that would be a good thing. However, if this is not the case, you will need to speak to the social worker to explain that this is what you would like to happen. It is always best to be open with Children Services.

Both you and your partner should continue working with services to address your alcohol use. You should also work and cooperate with Children Services and in particular the Child Protection Plans for the children. Failure to adhere to the plan could result in Children Services taking further action which could include court proceedings.

Whether or not you should attend court is what appear to be causing you distress at the moment. Whilst I am not able to advice you in relation to a criminal case, it seems to me that if both you and your partner recognise the problems you both have and are trying to work things out, going to court should not make things worse. What happened was serious enough for you to call the police and for them to charge your partner. You cannot change what happened and by not going to court, Children Services may take a view that despite the work you are doing, you may be minimising your partner’s behaviour towards you. This could lead them to worry about how much you would be able to protect the children if your partner returned to the home.

I am sending you a copy of our advice sheet relating to child protection procedures which should give you more information about how the process works. Please also look at our website for information relating to domestic violence which can be found here for more help.

Should you wish to speak to an Adviser, please do telephone our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope you will find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

curliesue2
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2015 9:37 pm

Re: dv court case looming

Post by curliesue2 » Thu Sep 17, 2015 12:54 pm

Thankyou for your reply. They haven't said we cannot get back together. They have said we need to do this DARA programme together if we want to reconcile and seek couples councelling.
We are both working with them (but seperate as he is allowed no contact with me) . It's such a big mess.

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