Social Services Involved

[SplitZ]

Hello,

I have recently done something that I regret very very much. Last week I was looking after my partners 4 year old boy when he was restless and playing up over night, he wasn't getting to sleep and after several hours of trying and me being tired at this point, I smacked him twice. I had an outburst and this has been the only time I have ever done anything like this.

My partner finished work and we went to pick her up. I was unable to tell her what I done. That day school picked it up. I was not allowed any contact. I went monday to the police and gave an interview. Yesturday the SW went to my partner after a meeting for speech and said he needs to be on a child in need plan. The boys dad has been acting innocent and we feel his security is not as good as ours.

I was wondering what options there are? I am yet to see the SW and my parents have offered things like supervised contact. Any help or ideas welcome.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear SplitZ

Welcome to the Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie and I am one of the advisers at Family Rights Group.
I understand your concern over the incident involving your partner’s son and the involvement of Children Services following in the incident.

The school referred the incident to Children Services as part of their safeguarding role. Children Services have a legal duty to ensure that children are brought up in a safe environment. They therefore have to carry out investigations where any child has suffered harm or abuse.

As part of their investigation, children services have to carry out an assessment to identify if a child is in need. From your post it appears they have reached that conclusion. As part of a child in need plan Children Services is able to offer support to the child and its parent.

Your partner has to cooperate and engage fully with Children Services to ensure the best outcome for her and her son. It may be that a decision is made that you are not able to have contact with him for a long period of time. If your partner wishes you to be involved in her son’s life then Children Services might insist on you being risk assessed to find out whether it is safe for the child.

As you are not the child’s father the social worker may not consider it a priority for you to have contact. If you wish to discuss contact you could get in touch with him or her to see what is being proposed in respect of contact. The social worker could take the view that as you are not the father you do not have to be given any information about the case. You will need to explain to the social worker about your involvement with the child and the relationship you share, but as you do not have parental responsibility for the child, you have no legal entitlement.

You have been interviewed by the police and a decision will be made as to whether you will be charged. Children Services may want to await the outcome of the police investigation. If the police decide not to pursue the matter, this does not mean Children Services will no longer be involved. The two investigations are very different and are looking at completely separate issues in relation to the child.

I advise you to contact the social worker to find out what the position is regarding your continued contact with the child.

I hope you will find this information helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[SplitZ]

Hello,

There was a meeting today which my partner was meant to attend, though she never knew any of what was going on, she said she never had a letter or anything. I was meant to have a meeting with the social workers and when I rang the person back, they said when can I do it expecting me to give a days notice at work, we said that friday evening was fine between 5-530pm and she agreed but needed to check with another social worker.

I waited around till 5:30 and nothing, I haven't heard of them since. They also made a statement to my partner with things which have been said by her ex (the boys dad) and her, though a lot of it was not right. We have a baby on the way and have only been to the first scan about two weeks ago, if I can't see the boy again, what about my baby? I want our relationship to be how it was, she has total trust and love for me, what can be done?

Surely they would need to see me to asses me, as a risk assessment and so forth but I have only had one phone call from the social worker.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Splitz

Do you know what type of meeting was being held by Children's Services, as this will help me to offer you more accurate advice?

With regards to the new baby, it would be advisable for your partner to request a meeting with the social worker to inform them she is
expecting your child, and that you both wish to be involved in any pre-birth assessments that are undertaken.

I would be inclined to indicate to the social worker that you are both committed to and wish to be assessed as a family unit, and willing to access any supports offered at this time.

Should you wish to speak to one of our advisers, please feel free to contact our advice line on 0808 801 0366 Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.00 pm.

Best Wishes

Suzie