childrens services on my side

[dvsurvivor]

My children are on a child arangment order. My ex husband kept one of our children and didnt return after contact. Police would not do anything because my ex had equal PR. I constantly went on at childrens services about my worried of my child being in his care as a long history of d.v. That is why i left him because of the dv. I got a solicitor who turned out no good so i got another one. It has taken months and months. Childrens services finally took my concerns serious as well as other people and proffesinols reporting their concerns. A s.47 report was done. My child in his care is now under child protection. My other children that are liveing with me are fine as far as childrens services are concerned and they not at risk or under childrens services. The childrens services reconended in their report at the child protection conferance for my chuld to be returned to me. I have seen my child for a total of 27 hours in just over a year. CS said this is him abuseing my child by cutting off from me and family. We have had a plo and due another one soon. So far my ex husband is not working with the plo outline or the cp plan much at all. The main thing was not allowing contact with me the mum or siblings. In the meantime i am pursueing private law and mediation is not possible because of the history if dv. Please can anyone give me some advice as to how long it will take for me to get my child back safe with me? My ex has a long history of violence and been in and out of prison all his life. Our other child has has some serious behaviour problems because of the dv witnessed and seen when little with their dad. That is the exscuse my ex has used to keep our other child. But iv had alot of help with my. Other child and all proffesinols sat reason for behaviour is because of the dad.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear dvsurvivor

Welcome to Family Rights Group Parents’ Discussion board. My name is Suzie and I am Adviser with Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are experiencing continued difficulties with your ex husband regarding contact with your child. As you have mentioned a long history of domestic violence it seems unfortunate that your child is still in his care at the moment.

It is very good that Children Services are now engaged working with you to improve the situation regarding your child. If your ex-husband refuses to engage with the Child Protection Plan and the agreement reached at the PLO meeting, then Children Services may decide to issue care proceedings to safeguard your child from future significant harm.

It appears that your ex-husband does not have any insight into the impact his behaviour towards you had on the child who has had behavioural problems if he thinks this is a reason to prevent your other child returning to your care.

You say you are pursuing private law proceedings. It is difficult to give an exact time when the court will make a final decision about where your child will live. It will depend on a number of things, for example the preparation of any reports or assessments the court directs should be carried out and the time that takes to happen. It will also depend on court time which will impact on the dates hearings can be fixed. Having said this, the courts are now very much working on the basis that child cases should be decided as quickly as possible.

I am including a link to our advice sheet about Child Arrangement Order which you may find helpful to understanding the process. I suggest you read from page 14 which deals with the application process.

I hope you will find this information helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[dvsurvivor]

Hi susie,
Thankyou for your reply. I shall read up on the link you sent me as regards the child arangments order. I had always had sole residency and foolishly agreed to shared residency(now a child arangments order). last year as i had no legal representative and was bullied into agreeing with his application on the grounds that he backs off and leaves me alone. Only for his bullying tactics and intimidation to get worse once he had that court order. And he simply used the court order to his own advantage.
I will be pursueing the matter through private law as i have been encouraged to by cs. Would be good if they issued care proceedings as they have more cloute in the courts. But they dont have enough evidence and are building on that. we had out first core group today and he did what he allways does in typical psco narsisst style. Try and use it to sabatoge and manipilate as he did at the cpc. I do not retaliate and remain calm. All the proffesinols can clearly see what he is like and the chairs of the meetings are very good at putting him in his place.

[dvsurvivor]

I am starting to see what people are like by saying one thing and doing . Cancelling important meetings etc.... First they recommend for my child to be returned to me away from her abusive controlling father. But over 2 months later she is still their. I am now being assesed as a parent after being told first I don't need to as already had one done back in July. It only because he insisted at the core meeting because he is having one done.

[dvsurvivor]

I was first told by a social worker that they are on my side. Only to be cross examined and question after repeated question about my parenting making me feel like im the one in the wrong.
I have been told that she has to do that as part of her assessment. But it obvious from what she was saying that she has been manipulated by my ex husband (perpatrator). He is very good at convincing people that he is right and will go to any depths to do so. He is a very controlling, dominating man.

[warthhog123]

Hi different circumstances but social worker took my exs word over mine she was on my side until she visited him in prison!!!!!!!!!!!!! he convinced her i was violent and suffering from mental health issues she fought to have him placed on birth certificate and to have contact!!!!!!!!!!! she stood and swore on oath that my ex was victim of abuse and deserved the right to see his son having missed out on bonding time.......
All was a lie i have never been violent or taken drugs i have no criminal records yet he was believed when he takes all types of drugs and deals drugs is alcohol dependent been to prison 4 times 33 convictions and breeched non mol order 4 times...... he lies, cheats, black mails and is extremely violent with controlling and manipulative behavior he has assaulted both his parents and i believe is a narcissist!!!!!!!!
so they granted contact and he stopped turning up he then threatened and turned up at foster carers so they moved my son from local to further away and ceased his contact for 4 weeks
So your story doesnt surprise me in the slightest. in the end judge gave my ex contact order for centre only to be supervised for ever due to his behaviour,,, he never turned up once but at court when they granted rights on birth cert it has clauses that my son can not be removed from my care nor can he see him outside a centre plus i have life long restraining order due to violence,,,, hes now threatening to take me to court to see his son who is nearly 3 but hasnt seen or paid for him in 18 months....... my worry is he will get it

[dvsurvivor]

Dear warthog
Sorry about late reply have only just seen your post. O can't belive what you went through what a nightmare. My ex has almost 100 convictions and 19 custodial. He is in crown court in the new year for violence im praying he gets a custodial for a good few years.
So I can go get my child back, been told childrens services could apply to put my child in care even though their are no CP concerns as regards me. The whole thing is a nightmare and I can't belive the way childrens services work.