I need urgent help I am devastated!!!

[Desperate mummy]

Hi everyone
I am a very unfortunate person I have been married to my husband last thirteen Years it has been a controlling relationship like my immigration he never renewed financial I was dependent on him he never dealt with our relationship as an adult his family was involved all the time last month when he did domestic violence in front of my three children 9,8 and 4 I called the police , they arrested him and ss workers took my children from school .since then i have been devastated from my cultural back ground it was a huge step to do something to stop the violence but I am without a soul without my precious children , they all are outstanding acadamically they were healthy ,and happy children as a family our priority was our children .due to circumstances I decided to end my relationship with my husband and his bail conditions were he can't come near the matrimonial home and contact me directly or indirectly we are religious family .... My house is very clean the fact we are asthmatic and moving from abroad I wasn't aware of the laws and social services all I knew was that police will stop him ... The same day ss took my children on police protection order and after one day on interim care order I was really vulnerable at that time ,alone in the country . I need help to get My children back as I can't live without them .... Please advice me

[frustrated mum]

Find yourself a good family solicitor, as you being their birth mother you have parental responsibility and will get legal aid. As confusing as it is work with the social workers and get in touch with women's aid. I wish you all the best .

[Desperate mummy]

I already did I am in touch with women's aid and social worker and I trying to ensure them I have been in controlling and blackmailing relationship it was arrange marriage between families as he is my cousin , they are not understanding at all .if I show concern for my children that they are not being treated as they were with me they take it opposite and lie ...I felt it they will do the biggest unjustice on earth taking my children who are my entire world away from me .... I am really suffering without them so do they .... My children ... Please I need some one as a social worker prospective how can I have my children back before 26 weeks ... I feel I will collapse soon !

[warthhog123]

Hi Im so sorry for your situation, please if you can read my posts under heading getting your voice heard.
Are you seeing your children and what is been said to you about what is happening next??
have you got a solicitor??

Hang in there people will try to help xxx

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Welcome to the parents board. I am so sorry to hear about the difficult and distressing time you are having. I am glad that you have a solicitor working for you. I can see that other parents have given you helpful advice. You should also have a look at our information about care proceedings. It sets out the court process and tips on how to work with your solicitor. It also explains what significant harm means.

At the end of the court proceedings the court will be deciding where your children will be living. This could either be:
• Return home to you,
• Return home to dad,
• To live with family members or friends carers,
• If there are no suitable family or friends then the court may be asked by children services to consider adoption or long term foster care.

What assessments of your parenting ability has there been? –The court will be looking to see whether you are able to provide “good enough” parenting-which is also safe parenting.

At the same time, the court will want to assess any family (of both you and dad) or friends or people connected to your children to see whether there is one who could care for your children until they are adult.

Do you have any family who are able to do this, in case the assessment of you is negative? If so, it is very important that you give the social worker and your solicitor their names and contact details.
Has there been a Family Group Conference? This is where you as mum could ask family and friends to a meeting to see what support might be available within the family. Often this meeting is uses to find family and friends who could look after children long term. However, it can also be used to look for family members to support parents in caring for their children.

From the information you have given it appears that children services are most concerned about you being in an abusive relationship with your husband. They would have been worried that will have put your children at risk of serious harm. Have a look at effects of domestic abuse on children.

I hope this helps. Please post back with any questions or you could call our advice line for intensive support.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[frustrated mum]

have you checked with woman's aid if there is a support group for ladies who have arranged marriages. I can understand that this can bring shame on the family but there are groups out there of people in the same situation, good luck

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Desperate mummy

You may also find it useful to contact Rights of Women on 020 7251 6577 as they have expertise of supporting women going through a similar experience, to yourself.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[keeping-faith]

Having just read your posts , I can more than empathize as I too am being emotionally destroyed by child services . I'm hoping as I'm writing this 8 mths after your original post , that you can update us and tell us the much needed happy ending ? ...my love and thoughts are with you and your children ♥♥♥