Worried about as visit

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ls01
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2020 8:16 am

Worried about as visit

Post by ls01 » Sat Jul 25, 2020 12:43 am

please help.. last Saturday the police came to my house to investigate a report of my partner drink driving, whilst here they found out about a small altercation of me trying to take the keys off him and he pushing me and my 16 year old out the way. Now ss ha0ve rang to say they are coming to do an assessment, what should I expect and will they try make me separate from my partner.
Any advice greatly appreciated.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Worried about as visit

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Aug 10, 2020 4:49 pm

Dear ls01

Welcome to Family Rights’ Group’s (FRG) parents discussion board and thank you for posting. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry that I was not able to respond to you sooner and to hear the difficulties your family is currently experiencing.

You have posted a couple of times since your original post and so I will respond to all three posts here.

You are currently having an assessment by a social worker due to the incident you have described above. Police have passed the information onto children’s services as there may be concerns about your partner’s alcohol use but also as he is alleged to have pushed both you and your 16 year old out of the way. You mention in your subsequent posts that you have 4 children so I think you have 3 more children under 16 . Children’s services want to do a holistic assessment of your children’s circumstances which would include assessing whether the children have been (or could be) harmed in any way as a result of domestic violence and probably whether your partner’s alcohol use is affecting his parenting. The assessment will also recommend any support or services, if any, that the social workers thinks will help your family.

It is not unusual to be worried about children’s services’ involvement and you are right to seek advice and to understand what might happen. However, you shouldn’t feel that you have to live in constant fear. You don’t mention any previous social work involvement so you may well have brought up your children (one to the age of 16) without any concerns. You have also now met with a duty social worker who seemed fine; if she had any serious concerns during her visit she would have needed to have let you know there and then. You allowed her to speak to your child which again shows that you are cooperating with the assessment. There is a plan for another social worker, when allocated, to speak to your other children. Again this is normal practice as social workers are required to talk to children alone as part of their assessment. This should be carried out in a child-focused way. It shouldn’t be ‘probing’. Perhaps you might feel more reassured about this if you ask the social worker to explain what her meeting with each of the children will involve and to ask the social worker to give you feedback afterwards. You are the children’s mother and have parental responsibility for them; the social worker should respect this keep you as fully involved and informed as possible.

You mention that you recorded your meeting with the social worker. Did you let her know in advance that you were going to do so? The Transparency Project have published a very helpful guidance note parents recording social workers to help parents (and professionals) understand how they can do so openly and respectfully. If you haven’t seen this before please to take a look at it.

As you probably know, the assessment should be completed within 45 working days and at the end of this you should receive a written copy of the assessment which you can comment on. Here is our advice sheet on family support which explains much more about the assessment process. If children’s services have child protection concerns then look at this advice sheet as well.

When you first posted you were worried that children’s services might force you and your partner to separate. When they are worried that an assessment cannot be carried out safely with the alleged perpetrator residing in the home they will sometimes ask that he moves out temporarily whilst this is completed. And in more serious cases they will sometimes recommend separation as a way of keeping the children safe. But in other circumstances families remain together during assessment or when plans are put in place. You have already met with a social worker now so are probably a bit clearer on this point. If your partner is the father of all or any of your children he should, of course, also be fully involved in the assessment process.

We have some tailored advice materials on domestic violence that you might find useful.

I think that anxiety about the process is causing you a lot of stress and perhaps reading about difficulties others have faced is adding to this. Remember that your family is unique and you are the expert on your family’s needs. The best approach may be to ask the social worker to update you regularly on the progress of the assessment and discuss any issues with you if they arise so that you can address them. Here are some tips about this.

I hope this helps but if you have further queries do post back or call the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 (Mon to Fri 9.30 to 3.00 pm) to discuss with an adviser.

With best wishes

Suzie

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