Please someone can help me

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Dsafer72
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Aug 05, 2019 4:25 pm

Please someone can help me

Post by Dsafer72 » Tue Aug 06, 2019 2:06 pm

Hi all
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I separated with my ex we not married. However we have 5 year old child. He sees mum and dad argument.

She have lie to me more than I can remember and all to get what she wants

We agreed few things for the child we argue a lot. I have Threaten her few time she playing with my head. She has gone to the police and reported this .the police never call me or anything. However social services stop me from seeing my child. I didn’t do anything only argument in front my son both play this games.

I’m worried because they wanna ask me if I do said to her I will kill you.
I’m not perfect ok I’m angry at her bring man to the house for my child to see. And my son tells me everything.

I don’t know what to do really ,And what they will do.
I know this has gone to far but I am hurt and the lies and I said this. Now if I told them what they will do . I loose contact and I loose my job.
Please some can help me
Thank you for reading

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2622
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Please someone can help me

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Aug 23, 2019 1:28 pm

Dear Dsafer72,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties in your relationship with the mother of your child. Now children services have stopped contact between you and your child.

It seems there may have been domestic violence in the relationship. You say the police were called and that children services want to ask whether you had threatened to kill mum.
Children services (new name for social services) have said they do not want you to see your child until they have spoken to you.

I suggest you ring up the social worker (or email) and ask to have an appointment. If English is your second language-ask them to arrange for an interpreter to help you at the appointment. They must arrange an interpreter, if you need one.
The reason why children services say this is because they want to assess you to check that you are not dangerous to your child before you see your child again. If children witness violence towards their mother or father they can suffer trauma. Children who have witnessed domestic abuse may go onto to have mental health problems when they are older. Children could get injured by being caught in the cross fire between parents.

The social worker will want to ask about what has happened. It is best to be honest-so she can offer you help or support such as a programme for people who have been in domestic violence situations.
Ask the social worker what you need to do to be able to have contact with your child.

Here are our FAQ’s about domestic violence for fathers.

If children services have already closed their case, it would be better for you to go to the family court and ask for a child arrangements order to see your child.
To get advice about a court application you could contact Families need fathers or the child law advice line

For advice about domestic violence support, I suggest you also ring the free and confidential advice line at Respect . They could let you know whether your behaviour was domestic abuse and if so what help you can get –such as specialist courses in your area.


I hope this helps but if you have any questions, please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,
Suzie

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