Hi all, I’m new to this group so please bare with me. Also sorry for the long post in advance I just wanted to state everything that had gone on.
On 11th February, my partner had an altercation with the police in our home due to them attending from a malicious phone call from neighbours stating there was a domestic. My partner wasn’t at home at the time, he was out with my father & my brother watching football, my 3 children were in bed. The house was utterly quiet but I had had an argument with my brother on the phone due to them getting my father absolutely drunk which to the point he couldn’t stand up, so being a concerned daughter I was shouting at my brother on the phone, that was that. Just before my partner came home I had brought our 1 year old son downstairs because he was unsettled due to teething, so when the police arrived at our door 10mins after my partner had arrived home my son was settling off on his pushchair. They said they had a call about a “domestic” I let them in told them what had happened. The radioed that they were in the property everything was calm. we were so frustrated & I refused to give the police my children’s details because there were no issues going on at home so they didn’t need them. They refused to leave. Because my partner had a drink he was more agitated that the police wouldn’t leave our property & kept telling them to leave. My partner went into the kitchen so the police followed him. He still continued to tell them to leave our property. The police continued to antogonise him which resulted in the police then calling for back up so 6 police officers restrained my partner to the floor( knees on his face, handcuffs so tight his wrists were bleeding & leg straps) said at this stage it would end up being arrested as breach of the peace( he wasn’t read any rights) during this time I had taken our son back upstairs & settled him in his cot. My 9 & 10 year old children were also asleep. Soon after,my little one had become unsettled again so I brought him back downstairs into the living room to do him some milk. I informed my partner that our son was back downstairs & he calmed down instantly. The police sat him up off the floor into a chair & asked him if there was anywhere he could go so he wasn’t arrested. They took him to my moms address which he returned the next day. Since then a social worker came out to our home for 20 minutes to listen to our version of events & to see my children were well. I was informed a week later it was going to Maric. A few days later I received a letter for an Initial Child Protection Conference for 22/03/19 (which I wasn’t informed about) during the time from seeing the social worker to the conference she had been out to school to see my children. They spoke nothing but positive about home life & my partner. However at the conference my partner gave his opinion that they were assuming that this happens on a regular basis (which is not the case) & asked him to leave the room. all professionals agreed that my partner was to leave our family home & not allowed to stay until risk assessments have been done. They then went on to say about legal gateway incase I don’t stick to the plan. They said he can’t see my eldest children or our 1 yr old son we have together until a 3rd party can supervise contact. It’s gone down as emotional abuse. They stated I am allowed contact with my partner just not with my children but I’m 30 weeks pregnant with his child. And that he can attend my antenatal appointments also. How does that even work? They said they can’t put a timeframe on how long assessments will take.
Where do we go from here? My children are devastated along with myself and partner. We just want our family life back. What happens when I give birth? Will he be allowed to be present? Will he ever be allowed back home? Please help!
Child protection plan!
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Child protection plan!
Dear Mumof491
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for posting. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your family are experiencing.
Children’s Services have become involved as police were called to an incident at your family home, which you have described. Although you explain that the initial police response was in relation to an argument you were having over the phone with your brother this may still have prompted neighbours to be concerned. It sounds as if the situation then escalated as due to your frustration you did not want to share your children’s details with the police – they are required to do this when they are called to an incident where children are present – and your partner who had been drinking was agitated and insisting that the police leave. If you and your partner have concerns about the police handling of the situation you can contact the Independent Office for Police Conduct .
Children’s Services would always do an assessment in a situation such as this, especially when there are young children present (your one year old was in the room for some of this time) and your other children were upstairs and may well have been disturbed by this. You are pregnant and so you may be seen as at a higher risk of experiencing domestic violence as it often begins or escalates during pregnancy.
The situation has been discussed at a Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC) which is a professionals meeting to share information about high risk domestic abuse - so that a risk focused and co-ordinated safety plan is made to support adult and child victims.
Although your partner left the family home voluntarily that night he returned the next day – now as part of the child protection plan for the children he has been asked to live elsewhere whilst further assessment are carried out. It sounds as if you and your partner are working with this requirement and that is the right thing to do as it means that the children can safely remain at home in your care. This should allow a further risk assessment to be completed. Has your partner been referred to a domestic violence perpetrator programme and you to a domestic violence support programme?
Here is some information about what a legal planning meeting is, as legal gateway has been mentioned.
As the conference was on the 22nd March you have probably already had (or are about to have) a core group meeting to discuss the plan more thoroughly. This will be a good opportunity to ask the questions you have about how to manage this situation and to put forward the names of responsible family members or friends who could supervise contact between the children and your partner – they will need to be assessed as suitable by the social worker. If your partner is going to attend antenatal appointments with you may also have to make childcare arrangements or have a ‘supervisor’ present. This will all need to be looked at and you should raise with the social worker and at the core group.
Understandably you have a lot of questions about what will happen especially when the baby is born. Although you have been told that children’s services cannot put a timeframe around assessments – you can asked if they have made a referral for a specialist assessment or a perpetrator’s programme - there are timescales around child protection processes including social worker visits every week to ten days (it will be set down in the plan) and core groups every 6 weeks with a review conference within 3 months.
You want your family life back to how it was. The best way to achieve this will be for your partner and you to both work with children’s services to allay their concerns and to show the strengths that you have also have. As you and your partner work with children’s services and any other agencies involved you should ask for regular feedback so that you are kept properly informed. Here are some tips for working with social workers that might help too. You should discuss the arrangements for the baby’s birth too and put forward what you would like to happen and clarify what you and your partner could do to address any concerns.
You might find our domestic violence materials for mothers helpful - they include FAQs and links to support services.
We also have FAQs on domestic violence for fathers which I would recommend for your partner.
If you take a look at these materials they offer suggestions for what you can do in this situation.
I hope this helps.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for posting. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser.
I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your family are experiencing.
Children’s Services have become involved as police were called to an incident at your family home, which you have described. Although you explain that the initial police response was in relation to an argument you were having over the phone with your brother this may still have prompted neighbours to be concerned. It sounds as if the situation then escalated as due to your frustration you did not want to share your children’s details with the police – they are required to do this when they are called to an incident where children are present – and your partner who had been drinking was agitated and insisting that the police leave. If you and your partner have concerns about the police handling of the situation you can contact the Independent Office for Police Conduct .
Children’s Services would always do an assessment in a situation such as this, especially when there are young children present (your one year old was in the room for some of this time) and your other children were upstairs and may well have been disturbed by this. You are pregnant and so you may be seen as at a higher risk of experiencing domestic violence as it often begins or escalates during pregnancy.
The situation has been discussed at a Multi-Agency Risk Assessment Conference (MARAC) which is a professionals meeting to share information about high risk domestic abuse - so that a risk focused and co-ordinated safety plan is made to support adult and child victims.
Although your partner left the family home voluntarily that night he returned the next day – now as part of the child protection plan for the children he has been asked to live elsewhere whilst further assessment are carried out. It sounds as if you and your partner are working with this requirement and that is the right thing to do as it means that the children can safely remain at home in your care. This should allow a further risk assessment to be completed. Has your partner been referred to a domestic violence perpetrator programme and you to a domestic violence support programme?
Here is some information about what a legal planning meeting is, as legal gateway has been mentioned.
As the conference was on the 22nd March you have probably already had (or are about to have) a core group meeting to discuss the plan more thoroughly. This will be a good opportunity to ask the questions you have about how to manage this situation and to put forward the names of responsible family members or friends who could supervise contact between the children and your partner – they will need to be assessed as suitable by the social worker. If your partner is going to attend antenatal appointments with you may also have to make childcare arrangements or have a ‘supervisor’ present. This will all need to be looked at and you should raise with the social worker and at the core group.
Understandably you have a lot of questions about what will happen especially when the baby is born. Although you have been told that children’s services cannot put a timeframe around assessments – you can asked if they have made a referral for a specialist assessment or a perpetrator’s programme - there are timescales around child protection processes including social worker visits every week to ten days (it will be set down in the plan) and core groups every 6 weeks with a review conference within 3 months.
You want your family life back to how it was. The best way to achieve this will be for your partner and you to both work with children’s services to allay their concerns and to show the strengths that you have also have. As you and your partner work with children’s services and any other agencies involved you should ask for regular feedback so that you are kept properly informed. Here are some tips for working with social workers that might help too. You should discuss the arrangements for the baby’s birth too and put forward what you would like to happen and clarify what you and your partner could do to address any concerns.
You might find our domestic violence materials for mothers helpful - they include FAQs and links to support services.
We also have FAQs on domestic violence for fathers which I would recommend for your partner.
If you take a look at these materials they offer suggestions for what you can do in this situation.
I hope this helps.
Best wishes
Suzie
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