Advice Please: child on CIN Plan but SW refusing to recognise Domestic Abuse

[CJ98]

I left my husband a year ago after he was arrested by the police with our daughter present (for taking lewd photos in public without the permission of the person, he has also a record of this from the past, and for having indecent images in his posession). CS put daughter on CIN plan after I left him. Following a risk assessment where it was assessed that father should have only supervised access for 1.5hrs a week (by my sister and brother in law, we bypassed a family group conference although we had been promised one, this arrangement was mutually agreed in a CIN meeting). The SW is now talking about closing their case and wants us parents to sit down together and discuss what is best for our child in the way of access.

The only problem is I am not happy to do this. I received a torrent of sexual, financial and co-erosive control abuse throughout our marriage (and continuing into the divorce proceedings) and I am not happy about the safety of our child. Obviously my ex wants more access, and for it to be eventually unsupervised and I am scared of the emotional harm he will do our daughter, not to mention I am very concerned of his sexual criminal record. But the SW is not interested and is continually saying that I am not co-operating by not sitting down for "a chat". I am really scared of what will happen if he takes me to court (which he has privately threatened to do) if no one is interested in the domestic abuse I have suffered and what he could do to our daughter. Can i do anything?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear CJ98,

Welcome to the Parents Forum.

I am Suzie, one of the online advisers.

I can see that children services are involved with your family at a child in need level.
This is due to your exe being arrested for taking lewd photos and because he also has a criminal record for possession of indecent images. You have also suffered domestic and sexual violence by your exe and you are divorcing him.

There was a risk assessment of your exe which concluded that your exe should have limited supervised contact with your daughter. Now the social worker seems to be by-passing this and saying you have to sit down to discuss the way forward in relation to his contact with your daughter. What has changed since the risk assessment? Has he had a further assessment? Is it something to do with your daughter’s wishes and feelings?
When there is domestic violence, sitting down with someone (or even formal mediation) is not usually advisable unless a perpetrator course have been completed and the risk level has been assessed as low.

I suggest you set out your concerns and why you disagree with her suggestions. Ask her to set out in writing why she is taking a different view from the risk assessment and what will happen if you do not agree.
A Family group conference would have been helpful to look for other family and friends who could support supervised contact. You could suggest that one happens.

On the information you have given, it seems very unlikely that she will have grounds to escalate it to child protection level.
Your exe has the option of seeking a child arrangements order from the family court. If he was to take that step, then the court may ask for a section 7 report from children services, if they were still involved.
For information about private law applications, please see Rights of Women or contact the child law advice service .

I hope this advice helps but if you have any questions, please post again or call our advice service on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie