Old DV

[Fuzzycat342]

Hi i would appreciate any replies of advice or anyone who has been in the same position. I was with my childs Dad for 6 years the when my child was about 2 there were a few incidents of us going out drinking and we got arrested for arguing and a few pushes and shoves. A referral was made by the police and social came to visit and do an inital assessment my child had never witnessed any arguments or violence this was stated on the report also i told the social worker we had split up and were having contact through my partners mum which was the truth anyway no other concerns were raised. It said in the report that if we were to resume our relationship they would be concerned of further potential incidents. That was just noted in part of the report the case was closed. I have been back with childs father for 4 years after he went to the doctors and went to talking therapies we also dont drink anymore not that we were alcoholics but seemed this incidents were drink fuelled so the question. I am now pregnant and i am frightened to death they are to become involved from the midwife apt as i know she will ask. My question is will they really drag up 5 years ago after all this time after they have had no reports of anything else our lives are completely different now. Surley they would be the only ones upsetting my child given the age they are now if they came and split us up???
Any advice to put my mind at rest would be great thanks

[QuestionMark]

Hi,

It was 5 years ago and your partner has put work in and there has been no more accounts of DV so you should be okay. To be on the safe side you could self refer to The Freedom Programme and your partner self refer to the perpetrator programme? Seek advice about this first though x

[Fuzzycat342]

Thanks for your reply. I was offered the freedom a while back when it happened but i told the social worker back then that i was ok she was happy for me to be supported by family and to be fair it was noted that i was very protective and fully aware of the risk. When she came to my house she never looked around or anything not saying this makes a difference but i think she could tell i was quite with it. My partner done a in house course on dv for 6 weeks when he was seeking help for stopping drinking and a few other issues he had i appreciate this isnt one the same as respect but it would still all be on record. I just hope they may just give me a phone call im sure they would be able to speak to my childs school also?? They would be able to say they have no concerns
Thanks for your reply

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Fuzzycat342,

Welcome the Parents Forum. I am very sorry not to have responded earlier but we have been very busy.
Congratulations on your pregnancy. You are worried about children’s services becoming involved again. It is likely that a referral will be made by the midwife.

However, things seem very different now than what they were when they last did an assessment.
You and your partner are no longer drinking and your partner has had support for his mental health.
I assume that there has not been any further referrals to children services –from the school or GP, for example.
If the midwife does make a referral, then children services may carry out an assessment. The social worker would look at the history of their past involvement. You will be able to identify the changes that have occurred and support your partner obtained.
It is important to cooperate with the assessment. But also keep your own diary as well. Here are tips to help you work with children services.
Dad needs to cooperate with the assessments well. As he may still be a risky person, the social worker may want to carry out a risk assessment of him.
Here is some information for fathers

At the end of the assessment the social worker may accept the changes and close the case. Or s/he may come up with a support plan-such as accessing further. domestic violence support


If the social worker suspected that your child and unborn baby may be at risk of suffering significant harm, then the assessment will go down the child protection route.
If it does, here are some FAQ’s about child protection procedures that you might find helpful.
If you have any questions or need further advice, please post again.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[Fuzzycat342]

Thank you for your reply
Would they really be looking at child protection after 5 years of no incidents? Does that mean they would take my children off me? From something that happened 5 years ago. I always thought they that had to act on the risk that was present now. There have been no referrals to them from anyone in the last 5 years.
This referral will simply be because i am pregnant
Thanks

[Mommy2be2001]

Hi I don’t know much about what you’re asking but I was wondering if you could help me.
I am in your situation that you were in before and you said that you and your babies dad broke up and then decided to get back together after the case closed and he worked on himself. I was wondering; did social services never say anything about you getting back together, like did they never have a problem with it? I am worried if I get back with my partner they’ll find out and take the baby away but he has taken courses and I’d like to give it another go.

Thanks

[Fuzzycat342]

Hi. It was a long time ago we only ever had an inital assessment which was very quick and was closed within 2 days. We had split up so i feel this was why nothing escalated.
However the only things it says on the assessment is if we were to resume the relationship they could be concerned of potential incidences.
I am unsure of your situation but i would never got in touch because i didnt feel the need to and its been 5 years with no further involvement from them i think everyones situation is different
Did you have a child protection plan or anything?

[Mommy2be2001]

No, just child in need