Help please

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GGBEAR
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:32 pm

Help please

Post by GGBEAR » Thu Dec 20, 2018 12:15 pm

Please help I am at rock bottom and really need some advice
Basically in September my partner had a mental health break down due to not taking his medication this resulted in me calling the police and him being sectioned for 28 days because the police was called and the children were upstairs the social were informed and they put in place that he was not aloud any contact with the children either directly or indirectly which we complied with I informed them that our relationship was going to continue once I knew he had got the right help and also that I would only resume my relationship with him if he agreed to go on injection where he would no longer be responsible for self medicating and would be properly monitored which he also complied with and agreed to stay in hospital voluntarily for a further 2 weeks for the team to ensure that medication was correct
Social services tried to put the children on the at risk register but was unable to as it said it did not meet criteria so they are on something called a child in need which they have told me is the lowest plan with a scale of 6/7 on risk 10 being no risk case closed 0 being very serious I have core meetings every 4/6 weeks which I have complied with and they had promised to sort things so my partner could have to start with phone contact as the children miss him terribly however at the next meeting nothing had been done and everything that had been promised was not even started it was then stated on the 4/12 that my social worker was having a meeting with her manager on the 6/12 regarding this case and she would contact me on either the 6/12 or 7/12 no contact was made so I called on the 7/12 and was told she had not been in office on the 8/12!at around 20.30pm 2 duty social workers arrived and stated they had been sent out by my social worker to check my property to ensure my partner was not there which he was not as I said we have complied with everything and they know it
Monday morning I called and ended up speaking to her manager as she was not available again the manager said she was not aware that they had betsent for this and said she was aware they was just checking on child care arrangements as I have to travel to see him which they also know what all arrangements are she told me she was going to speak to social worker and get her to contact me to give me a update as she said all they were waiting on was for his social worker to contact them to confirm his state I informed her that he had tried contacting my social worker but she had not responded she ensured me it had been done
Now I have found out this is not the case and his social worker has attempted to contact and left 3 messages to which no one has responded
I was honest with them and told them from the start that we would like to spend Christmas as a family as that’s what I was advised to do since that day I spoke to the manager no one has contacted me back and I have called practically every day and left messages for her to call back which I have been assured she has received I have no idea what is happening and where I stand with anything it is making me very depressed and my children miss him greatly and have no idea of what happened
Please help I don’t know what to do

Miserylovescompany2
Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:55 pm

Re: Help please

Post by Miserylovescompany2 » Sat Dec 22, 2018 5:15 pm

They just don't care...do they!

If you google - director of Children's services followed by your county - you should be able to find their email address.

Children's services can not just close it's doors over any holiday period - so you also have EDT (emergency duty team) they have to have access to someone who makes decisions 24/7. You will be able to google that number also.

I know we are currently mere days away from Christmas and believe me, yours will not be an isolated case.

CIN is a voluntary agreement. Have you signed anything, a contract of expectations? Ideally your partner could use the backing of his MH team not only to speak with the SW but to put something in writing. Is there anyone invited to the core representing the needs of your partner? If not, there should be.

I'd consider strongly if you want to raise a formal complaint about how two SW's conducted themselves. They had no right to go in any room of your property without your consent. Even at CPP level they need your consent. Only a court order overrides your consent. They'd already tried and failed to initiate a CPP so it's doubtful they'd secure an order from the court. No doubt they'd suddenly be very interested again if you went back on your words - but they'll quite happily ignore their own.

How difficult is it actually to treat people with MH with the respect and dignity they deserve. Your partner has made sure his medication was correct...

I'd check the names of the SW on the HCPC register and make a note of their registration numbers incase you or your partner wish to take your concerns there? If they aren't registered - well then that's them struck off!

GGBEAR
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:32 pm

Re: Help please

Post by GGBEAR » Sun Dec 23, 2018 12:11 pm

I finally managed to get through on Friday where she actually said what is it you want to talk to me about
She said they were waiting for his social worker which is rubbish I said what am I supposed to tell children they want him to be here for Christmas she said you will just have to keep telling them what you have I said that’s my Christmas ruined she said at least you are spending it with your children I questioned why she felt the need to send social around to the house she said they were well with in their rights she then questioned what was happening with child care for when I went to see him even though we had gone through all of this and she was fine and now today 2 social workers have turned up again and questioned my daughter who is 16 she told them kids were at grandparents and then they started looking in and asking if someone else was there as they could hear something they said she said her friend was there I’m dreading Christmas Day in case they turn up wanting to look in the house for my partner again
As for someone representing my partner there is no one there only me and social and school for children I’m powerless they are treating him like a convicted murderer it’s making me ill and miserable and the children miss him awfully

Miserylovescompany2
Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:55 pm

Re: Help please

Post by Miserylovescompany2 » Mon Dec 24, 2018 1:56 am

Hello GGBEAR

I am so sorry - the SW is abusing their position. You and your family are basically being harassed under the guise of a CIN plan!

My own son at 16yo refused to deal with Children's services. He refused them access to his bedroom - CS could not force him.

There will be people working at the offices on Christmas Eve - you could try and speak with a senior manager. Managers have to be available because decisions need to be made 24/7 every single day of the year.

If they come Christmas Day - just don't answer the door! I doubt they will though if I'm honest. I know this isn't a long term solution but that fact is even though you don't agree with what they are doing - you've complied with everything through fear. They are bullying you - then gaslighting you.

Regarding the meetings - you can take along someone to support you. Your partner should also be invited. They can not stop him bringing someone who is supporting his MH.

The FRG phone line is open on the 24th - sometimes you have to ring multiple times. Don't give up.

In the New Year I'd think about getting a solicitor and also whether you want to initiate a formal complaint.

GGBEAR
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2018 7:32 pm

Re: Help please

Post by GGBEAR » Mon Dec 24, 2018 8:14 am

Thank you for your kind response

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