heard at maric now referred to children service

AN73
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2018 1:08 pm

heard at maric now referred to children service

Postby AN73 » Sun Apr 08, 2018 12:53 pm

hi my ex was arrested and charge with battery towards me my children was not there and they 15 year old twins my ex went to court went guilty and asked for a drink programme even thou he works hard I have moved area but in contact with my ex I have engaged with dv support offices doing the freedom programme I was heard for the second time at marac and my ex probation office said I was in a relationship with my ex now I been refered back to children service I am worried what the out come will be me and my ex want to be together my children love him his doing well on his drink programme can the social service tell me i cannot be with him even thou my children never witnessed domestic violent and they are 15 years old and doing very well at school please I need advice I been told I might just get a phone call and I might get one visit to check thing out they got no concern on my welfare or well being of the kids it just concern about my partner beavouir if his had a drink

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 1988
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: heard at maric now referred to children service

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:33 pm

Dear AN73

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ discussion board.

I see from your post that you have been in a relationship that involved domestic violence. Your partner assaulted you and he pleaded guilty at court. This has caused difficulties in your family because of concerns regarding the risk he poses to you and your children.

You say that you moved away but remain in touch with your partner. Did you move away because this was something agreed as a result of your involvement with MARAC? Had you informed professionals that you were no longer in a relationship with him? If the answer to these questions is yes then there may be concerns about your ability to protect your children and keep yourself safe. It is not clear from your post whether the incident of assault was a first one or whether your ex-partner has a history of violence or domestic violence.

It is good that you are engaging with domestic violence services and doing the freedom programme. Do you think it might be better to complete the programmes that you are doing. Your ex -partner also need to complete the courses and alcohol programmes. Unfortunately, if you have resumed your relationship secretly without informing the professionals in MARAC this would not show that you are fully aware of the concerns or risk posed by your ex-partner.

Depending on the extent of your ex partner’s history, if you both wish to resume a relationship, it is important that you are open and honest with children’s services and the professionals working with you. You or your partner could ask for a risk assessment to be undertaken by children's services to find out the level of risk he might pose to your and you.

Regarding your question about whether children’s services could say you cannot be with your partner even though your children never witnessed violence, I think you need to understand that children do not have to witness domestic violence or abuse for it to have a detrimental effect on them emotionally. Children can be affected because of how domestic violence impacts you and the way they see react as a victim of domestic violence. Children’s services can suggest they you do not continue a relationship with your partner or that you ensure he is not around your children.

It is important that children’s services are satisfied that the children will be safe. You mention that the children are 15 and doing well at school. Research shows that sometimes children can do very well at school because they use that as a means of blocking out other issues that worry them. Being 15 does not mean they will not be affected where domestic violence or abuse is in the home. The other concern is that they could be caught in the cross fire of domestic violence and, taking account of their ages this is possible should one or other of them try to protect you.

I have included our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services which explains the process that children’s services go through when they receive a referral.

The other advice sheets that you may find helpful are Family support and Child protection procedures if children’s services decide to take action.

It is also possible that children’s services do not keep a case open in respect of your family but this will depend on the concerns they have about the children’s welfare and whether there are safeguarding issues to be further investigated.

I think you may find it helpful to read information from our website about domestic violence and how children’s services deal with these issues.

You may wish to speak to an adviser about your situation and, if so, you can telephone our free, confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope you find this helpful.

Bet wishes

Suzie


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