Need advice

Post Reply
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2018 10:35 pm

Need advice

Post by Ls1234 » Tue Jan 16, 2018 10:40 am

Hi I'm 18weeks 5days pregnant with twins, my partner has a very bad past in and out of prison. His ex had 4 children one of them was my partners she had all her children taken into care due to her neglecting them while my partner was in prison. Well more to the point social services have had a report that my partner beat me up (which he hasnt) now they are involved with me.
However my partner got out of prison in 2015 after serving 4years he got himself a cleaning job and worked his way up to duty manager in the space of 6months. So he's working hard to show he's changing. What are the chances social services might take my children? I mean I went through a lot of ivf treatment to get this far i dont want to lose my babies :(

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2212
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Need advice

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jan 24, 2018 6:01 pm

Dear Ls1234

Welcome to the Parents’ Board and thank you for posting. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I am sorry to hear that you and your family are having difficulties.

I am glad to hear that your partner is moving forward with his life since he came out of prison and that he is working and making progress.

However there are a number of reasons why children’s services would want to be involved in doing a pre-birth assessment in relation to your unborn twins.

There has been an allegation of domestic violence – you don’t mention who made this report and you say that your partner didn’t assault you but children’s services do need to explore this and to make sure that you and your unborn babies are safe. Domestic violence often begins or increase during pregnancy and it could put both you and the babies at risk of serious harm. I don’t know if your partner’s conviction was for domestic violence or violence of any sort but if so that would also raise concerns. Children’s services and other agencies such as police, probation and health services work closely together to share information where necessary to protect children.

It is important for you to work with children’s services about this and to cooperate with the assessment the social worker is doing. You might find our domestic violence advice for mothers section helpful. We have a couple of specific FAQs on domestic violence and pregnancy which I would suggest that you look at as they explain what can happen if professionals are worried about unborn babies and what you can do.

There are specialist help and support services available for women affected by domestic violence which you can find out about in where to get further help and there are legal options too which you can find out about in protecting yourself through court .

Your partner should also work with the social worker, make sure he knows what the concerns are and how he can address them. He could have a look at the Respect website which provides information about domestic violence perpetrator programmes.

Your partner has previously had a child who was taken into care. Does he still have contact with that child and is he involved in any of the plans for the child? This may be relevant too as it may show whether children’s services have any current concerns about him and whether he has been able to work with social workers in relation to this child.

I know there is a lot to take in and that you are very worried about what might happen. It is good that you are seeking advice now. Do make sure to look after yourself and attend all your antenatal appointments.

There are some tips about working with children’s services in this domestic violence advice leaflet which gives you some practical advice about what you can do if the social worker’s assessment concludes that domestic violence is a serious concern.

You can ring the Freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 Mon- Fri 9.30 - 3.00 if you would like to speak to an adviser or you are welcome to post again if you have a new query.

With best wishes.


Post Reply