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advice needed

Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 2:46 pm
by Lil1984
Hi all,
My husband and I split almost 3 years. We live separately I have the children.
We split following an incident of Domestic Abuse he was prosecuted.
We have a son with an illness that requires extra supervision and care.
Recently, I've been having issues with a frozen shoulder, so my ex has been coming to stay over night occasionally. This has allowed me to take my medication and get some rest.
We started getting along a lot better and I agreed to go on a holiday too support him with the children.
A couple of nights before the holiday we argued and police were called. He's left the house no arrest etc ( no violence ) I called the police as he refused to leave and the children were upset by this.
We also had an argument while away on holiday.
On returning from hol, SS advised they needed to come and do an assessment and speak to the children alone.
This was done approx 1 week ago. My child advised me " the lady asked me if you and daddy had a fight mommy "
I have no concerns about SS coming out after all they are safeguarding my children.
My child told her that she felt safe 10 on a scale of 1-10 and 5 when we have argued.
She told the SS bits about the incident 3 years previous, an argument about 2 years ago and the row we had in holiday.
The SS said she needs to consult her manager and will complete a report.
What should I expect in terms of timescales and expectations of SS ??
Any advice welcomed.
I don't need to know about the impact of children over hearing / witnessing arguments. I'm aware of the impact of this and feel deeply saddened that my daughter recalls it. Never had any involvement with them before.

Re: advice needed

Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2017 2:51 pm
by Suzie, FRG Adviser
Dear Lil1984

Welcome to Family Rights Group Parents Discussion Board. I am Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group.

Children’s services have become involved with your family because, I assume, a referral from the police following your call to them when your husband visited your home and there was an argument.

As you have not previously had any involvement with children’s services a copy of our advice sheet giving an introduction to children’s services and what happens when they receive a referral is here for your information.

The process starts with a strategy meeting when a decision is taken as to what action will be taken. Having had a meeting with the social worker, it appears that the decision was to look further into safeguarding for your children. Child protection enquiries can take up to 45 days and a report recommendations will be made whether there should be an initial child protection conference. This is likely if it is considered that your children have suffered harm and at risk of significant harm in the future. Alternatively, it could be the assessment decision is whether a child in plan is necessary.

Please read copies of our advice sheets relating to equalchild in need support and child protection procedures which will give you detailed information.

In your post you say that you are aware of ‘ the impact of children over hearing/witnessing arguments’ this is important as children’s services will want to be satisfied that you are able to understand their concerns and protect your children.

Should you wish to discuss matters further with an adviser, please telephone our free, confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes