help please im so scared!

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Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:52 pm

help please im so scared!

Postby SJay31717 » Thu Jul 27, 2017 1:49 pm

Ok so long story short I have had to have the police out a number of times due to harrassment and some violence from my ex. We split up over a year ago and he was having regular contact with our son. During this time there were a couple of of incidents where he was violent towards me with no regards to our son being there. After the last time he was abusive 3 months ago I stopped all contact as he terrified our son! I have been to a solicitor to say there is no contact and he hasnt seen him since. I had to call the police on monday to inform them that he had been texting and ringing again as he isnt supposed to contact me. I inly called so they could log it but they sent a officer out to see me last night. I showed her some messages and explained about the last time I saw him 3 months ago he attacked my car whilst me and our child were in it. The police woman has refferred me to a social worker because of this! she says that they will help me in keeping my sons dad away from us but I am absolutely terrified!! My son is so so loved in my care and I own my house in a nice area, work full time and do not drink or take any drugs unlike his father. I am just worried that they will try and take my son from me as they might think I cant keep his dad away from him although ive done everything I can!
Please give me some advice I am absolutely terrified!
My son is my world I would never allow his dad to come near him or cause him any harm and he hasnt seen him for months!

Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:52 pm

Re: help please im so scared!

Postby SJay31717 » Fri Jul 28, 2017 11:32 am

Can noone help? :cry:

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: help please im so scared!

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jul 31, 2017 4:02 pm

Dear SJay31717

Welcome to the Parents Discussion Board.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I am sorry that you are filling to scared and worried about the referral that the police has made to children’s service (the new name for social services). I can understand why you are feeling so scared but would like you to understand that children’s services main role is not to remove children from their homes. Children’s services can, after assessing your situation provide you with help and support to keep your son and you safe.

You said in your post that you sought help from a solicitor, did you make an application to the court for a non-molestation order (sometimes referred to as an injunction) to keep your ex-partner away from you. If not, this is something you might want to consider as breach of a non-molestation order is treated as a criminal offence and could lead to him being sent to prison.

To give you an understanding of what will happen now that a referral has been made to children’s services, I have included a copy of our advice sheet which explains what happens when children’s services become involved. Briefly, a social worker will make contact with you and arrange an appointment to come to see you. The social worker will want to know if your son is being well cared for, if you have a support network, that is family or friends who can help you and is likely to want to look at your son’s bedroom and the general state of the home. The social worker should explain to you exactly what steps she will take regarding your family.

Since you separated from your ex-partner due to his behaviour this is likely to be seen as you doing the right thing to protect your son and keep him safe.

It is possible that the social worker might want to carry out an assessment this will depend on whether there are any concerns that she or she has regarding care of your son. The social worker should explain the nature of the assessment that will be done. This could be a child in need assessment see our advice sheet about family support. Alternatively, if it be considered that your son has suffered harm or is at risk of significant harm in the future, child protection enquiries, a section 47 assessment could be done. A copy of our advice sheet about child protection is here for your information.

I think it is best for you to engage openly with the social worker and ask questions about anything you are unclear about.

You may wish to speak to an adviser at Family Rights Group and you can do so by telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open form 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays).

I hope this is helpful and you will not be so scared about the referral to children’s services.

Best wishes


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