Please help I don't know what to do next

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Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:04 pm

Please help I don't know what to do next

Postby CD123 » Wed Jul 19, 2017 6:54 pm

Please help me I really don't know what to do next. Three off my youngest children have been took away from me and put into foster carers to adopt . My ex partner back in February assaulted me and my 16year old daughter just out off the blue which as resulted my three youngest children been placed into foster care because they said I couldn't keep them from harm. It went to court and the judge said I had 6 months to prove to them I could stay away from the baby's dad . I ended it there and then but social worker s still think I'm in a relationship with him. Social worker s are saying there's been alot of allegations against me and now are saying they have actually got CCTV evidence of me and my ex partner together which is so untrue because I haven't been near him since February. I had a visit from my social worker only for her to say that I have no positive s with in my self and that her report regarding me is going to be negative at the court date which is in august. she says I haven't learned from my mistake s as my previous relationship was also abusive , but since then I have been on a freedom program, a one to one domestic violence course and doing at the minute a mum and me course at *****. I'm waiting for a parenting course which starts in September. I also did a home assessment back in 2016 which was positive . I have three one hour contact a week with my children and haven't missed one my 4 year old son is very down at the minute and says he wants to come home and misses me and crys when I have to leave. I have always been open and honest and done everything social services as asked me to do but still this isn't good anoth I just don't know what else to do .

Edited by Suzie to maintain confidentiality

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Please help I don't know what to do next

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Jul 25, 2017 2:57 pm

Dear CD123

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I am sorry that you are feeling so distressed and helpless regarding your children due to the involvement of children services with your family.

You say that your three young children have been placed in foster care to adopt. It may be that your children are in foster care but not for adoption although you may have been told that there is a possibility that the final outcome could be adoption. If children services wanted to place your children in a foster for adoption placement they could not do so without your agreement unless they already had a court order, that is an emergency protection order or care order. I suggest that you speak to your solicitor about your children’s foster placement. Please see our advice sheet about care proceedings, pages 12 and 16 has information about foster to adopt.

If your children are in a foster placement with your agreement that would be a section 20 placement and the children would be ‘looked after’. This would be a voluntary placement and you have parental responsibility and children services do not. However, if the court made an interim care order or emergency protection order in favour of children services then they do share parental responsibility with you for your children.

Regarding adoption, the court can make a decision at the end of the case as to whether a placement order for the children to be adopted is made. Adoption is considered to the last resort if there is no other person, family or friend to care for the child children,

Domestic violence is always of concern to children services and other professionals because of the adverse impact it has on children whether they witness it or not. It is really good that you have separated from your partner and it is important that you continue as you have because children services will take the view that you cannot protect your children. Do you have support from a domestic abuse adviser who can provide you with support and help you to understand how you and your children are affected and to develop strategies to keep yourself and your children safe?

If you are being told that there is CCTV evidence, then I suggest you ask your solicitor to ask to see this evidence. It is important that you work with your solicitor and ensure that he or she knows all that you are doing to improve your situation so you can safely care for your children. It will be for your solicitor to make sure that the court knows what you have done.

You should continue to attend contact and enjoy the time with the children and make sure they have a good time. Your contact is being monitored to see how you are with the children and them with you. Also, how you react to the children’s individually and together.
Regarding the 6 months that you referred to I am supposing that this is the period of the care proceedings. There is a requirement that care cases conclude with 26 weeks (6 months).

It is not clear from your post whether any family members or friends have come forward to be assessed as possible carers for your children if you are not able to do so. Bear in mind that it will be the court that make the final decision about your children not the social worker. The court will look at all the evidence including whatever steps you have taken to make changes. Discuss your concerns with you solicitor who has all the information regarding your case and is best able to advise you.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please feel free to telephone our confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes


Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2017 2:04 pm

Re: Please help I don't know what to do next

Postby CD123 » Fri Jul 28, 2017 11:10 am

Hello Suzi and thank you for replying back , I really don't think I've got any hope what's so ever I did an phsyrometric assessment which as come back negative with issues regarding my childhood , and boundaries with my children . Social services are still adamant I'm still in a relationship with my ex partner and I just don't now what else I can do to prove that im telling the truth , they are only going on allegations and third party's . But what is worrying me the most is that I've had the children s guardians report and also she as said best out come would be for adoption I just don't know what else to do .

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