Arranging contact after domestic violence & child protection

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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2016 12:15 am

Arranging contact after domestic violence & child protection

Post by Pinkcup » Wed Oct 12, 2016 6:30 pm

My son was put on a child protection plan April 2014 due to a second instance of domestic violence. There was no issues with my parenting and it was due to me being classed as a vulnerable adult due to the relationship and being unable to protect myself and in turn him. He was removed from the plan within 6 months after finding a stable residence and a restraining order being put in place and after severing ties with my ex. The restraining order was for 2 years and ran out this April.

Now I have moved on with my life. I have a new boyfriend, am a student studying social work and have 0 interest in restarting a relationship with my ex. My ex is currently in prison again but his family has been in touch saying he would like to be a part of my sons life once he has sorted himself out. I am open to the idea as long as it is supervisored and he partakes in some anger management courses etc. Would social services put my son on a child protection plan again for even considering allowing contact? Because this might affect my uni course.

My son has started asking where his daddy is when we see other children at parks etc. And even though I think his dad is a waste of space I think it's right I give him a chance to be a dad for my sons sake as long as it is done safely.

Any advice greatly appreciated!

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Arranging contact after domestic violence & child protection

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Oct 14, 2016 2:03 pm

Dear Pinkcup,

Welcome to the parents forum.
I am glad to hear that things are going so well for you. You have a new partner and you are studying social work.
You are right to be very cautious about making your own arrangements directly with dad or his family.
Although you have moved on, dad may not have done. You do not want to risk yourself or your son suffering the trauma of domestic violence.
Handover time for contact can be a flash point.
Often, children services expect a third party such as a relative, or a contact centre to be used so that parents do not meet face to face.
Could dad’s parents be assessed for this, for example?
As you say, he will need to undertake courses to deal with his abusive behaviour and then be re assessed to see whether the course has been affective for contact to become more normal-without the involvement of a third party. Respect could advice about course for perpetrators.

You could suggest Dad or his family contact children services directly and ask about them assessing him for contact?

Here is our leaflet and FAQ’s about domestic violence and children services.

I hope this is helpful, but please post back if you need further advice.

Best wishes,


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