How relevant is something old?
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 11:55 pm
Hi,
SS have been involved recently (child in need assessment) as something happened one night whilst me and OH were drunk. Initially SW saw it as a one-off but she has since changed her mind. Here are her reasons:
School have apparently described OH as aggressive, and no 2's behaviour is being blamed on things he might have seen at home. However, there were other bits and pieces supposedly from school that I questioned them on and they were surprised at, so it seems some of this might be fabricated / exaggerated.
The SW refers to an incident 13 years back (before children) in which OH was cautioned for assault. She wants to draw a line between the dots and say it looks like a pattern. Although we said that was a long time ago and different lifestyle then, she seems happy to wave it around as a little flag to prove we are imperfect.
Can she do this? Last time she was around she had me in tears as she went through everything bad which has happened in our relationship, and tried to convince us we were victim and perpetrator. OH is going to move out now, following discussions between us around SS involvement.
The whole vibe of the draft assessment is based on her feelings that the children regularly witness dv, which is not at all true. But when I say this she makes out I'm in denial.
I since met an IDVA who deemed things low risk.
What do I need to do to convince her she's got the wrong end of the stick? Or can I even?
Thanks
SS have been involved recently (child in need assessment) as something happened one night whilst me and OH were drunk. Initially SW saw it as a one-off but she has since changed her mind. Here are her reasons:
School have apparently described OH as aggressive, and no 2's behaviour is being blamed on things he might have seen at home. However, there were other bits and pieces supposedly from school that I questioned them on and they were surprised at, so it seems some of this might be fabricated / exaggerated.
The SW refers to an incident 13 years back (before children) in which OH was cautioned for assault. She wants to draw a line between the dots and say it looks like a pattern. Although we said that was a long time ago and different lifestyle then, she seems happy to wave it around as a little flag to prove we are imperfect.
Can she do this? Last time she was around she had me in tears as she went through everything bad which has happened in our relationship, and tried to convince us we were victim and perpetrator. OH is going to move out now, following discussions between us around SS involvement.
The whole vibe of the draft assessment is based on her feelings that the children regularly witness dv, which is not at all true. But when I say this she makes out I'm in denial.
I since met an IDVA who deemed things low risk.
What do I need to do to convince her she's got the wrong end of the stick? Or can I even?
Thanks