Social services Involved for few reasons, advice needed

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Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2016 8:52 pm

Social services Involved for few reasons, advice needed

Postby shay45 » Sun Aug 14, 2016 7:53 pm

hi please don't judge but ive had social services involved since my child was young, they will 2 years old this year (I only have the one child) there was domestic violence in the relationship which ive only recently told my social worker about, this was only when alchol was involved however I know it was wrong, its hard to say but mainly down to alcohol I have made some stupid choices and without realising put my child at risk, the first occasion my child was put on child protection, my partner went to prison for a seprate but risky offence (me or my child wasn't present so there was no direct risk to us) I worked hard and got her off child protection, to child in need..weeks later I made a silly decision putting my child at risk , my child was taken off me and had to live with my parents, I worked extremely hard and was allowed my child back home living with me, this has been a few months the childs father is due out of prison and now shes saying about a partnership agreement which I'm unsure what it will say and weather i should sign it or not, do i HAVE to sign it ? during the parenting assessment I was very open and honest about the violence in our relationship and I'm just scared the social services are going to snatch my child away if I say something they don't agree with they could say I'm putting my child at risk and take them away from me ? I also really want to know what happens with the pre proceedings if that's what they are even called! I thought they sort of go away but after reading comments on here, ive realied they have a time really confused and worried, I wouldn't even consider getting back in a relationship with him unless he took massive steps on changing himself like I have, but I'm scared and worried to even ask if this is a option one day in the future because if I ask, they will think I'm too hung up on him which I'm really not! ive completed the freedom course I might be starting it again, ive come along way but I feel they will always think of me as not being strong enough or protective and its so scary I feel like they can take my child away and I couldn't live if that happened to me, I will get some legal advice this week but until then id really appricate somebody giving me an idea about all this thanks

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Social services Involved for few reasons, advice needed

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Aug 15, 2016 6:17 pm

Dear shay45

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Forum.

My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group.

I am sorry that you are feeling so worried and scared about your child because of children services involvement with you.

It is really great that you now recognise that you made choices which put yourself and your child at risk. This is a big step to be able to admit this and I am sure this has helped in your work with children services and being able to have your child back in your care on more than one occasion.
The problem you seem to have now is that your child’s father due to be released from prison, you may want him to have contact with the child. I think you will need to think about this and how it might impact on you and your child. You have been working hard to show children services that you understand and recognise the risks the domestic violence can lead to for your child and you.

Children services want you to sign a written agreement which will set out their expectations once your child’s father is released from prison. They recognise that he might well want to have contact but that will need to be managed in a safe way so there is no risk to your child or you. The agreement could say that he will not have unsupervised contact with the child; that he cannot be with you when your child is present. He may have to risk assessed before contact can take place. You would be given an opportunity to see the agreement and discuss it with the social worker before signing it. If you wanted to get legal advice first, then you are entitled to say you do not want to sign with having this first.

If you refuse to sign then, as you say, children services might have concerns about whether you would put your child at risk. You have been open with them about the domestic abuse in the relationship. You mention that you would be with your child’s father if he addressed the issues that lead to domestic abuse. He could contact Respect on 0808 802 4040 for information about domestic abuse and if alcohol is an issue attend a local alcohol service. Children services can carry out their own risk assessment if you decide you want to be with him. Consider very carefully if this would be good for you and your child, children service would want to be sure that you can be a protective factor for your child.
Just to put your mind at rest, children services cannot just snatch your child away. They can only remove a child with your consent or a court order. If they think a child is at risk of immediate harm they could ask the police to remove the child to a place of safety. This removal lasts for 72 hours following which you can agree to it continuing or children services would have to go to court.

If children services decide to go to pre proceedings then you would be given a public law outline letter (PLO). You would attend a meeting with your solicitor to discuss what you need to do to prevent court proceedings being started. Please see our advice sheet about child protection procedures

Please also read the information on our website about domestic violence which is here and will give you more details about children services in this situation.

You may wish to speak to an adviser and, if so, please telephone our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Aug 05, 2016 8:52 pm

Re: Social services Involved for few reasons, advice needed

Postby shay45 » Tue Aug 16, 2016 7:15 pm

thankyou so much ive spoken to my social worker and she said the same things as you, so ive been worrying myself silly for nothing! I feel like a weight lifted off my shoulders, thankyou

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