Advice please

[Mummy23]

Hi, long story short, my children are in cp due to DV. We are both doing what is asked of us and what is necessary to prove that we both want the help to continue as a family unit. I am hoping to get some advice on contact with my ex. I don’t see the problem of me and him having contact so long as my children are not involved. I have been advised that if we had contact I would then be taken to court. I am not a child and I am fully aware of the ‘risks’ they are concerned about. I don’t want to lose my children and i will always put them first. After months with no contact we both want the same thing and that is to provide a happy and stable home environment for our children. Please can somebody shed some light on my situation as I do not know the legal side of things.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Mummy23

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents’ discussion forum.

I am sorry that there has been a delay in a response to your post.

In your post you say that on a child protection plans due to domestic violence between you and your partner. You say that you are both doing what has been asked of you to show that you can continue as a family unit.

Although you say you are working with children’s services (the new name for social services), you wish to have contact with your partner which you have been asked not to do at this time. It may be that children’s services want you to both to show commitment and the fact that you are able to work well with professionals. Alternatively, they may wish to complete their assessments to satisfy themselves that the children would be in a safe environment and will not be exposed to any future harm.

Whilst I understand what you say regarding contact with your partner without the children, part of children’s services concern would, I think, also be in respect of you keeping yourself safe in order to be able to be protective of your children. If you and your partner are working with children’s services as stated in your post, I suggest you ask the social worker to put in writing an explanation of the reason why contact with your partner without the children is of concern.

If you and your partner want to provide a safe environment for the children, what action have you taken to show this to children’s services that you are working towards to safe environment? Have you attended a domestic violence service like Women’s Aid to obtain advice and support? Has your partner attended any programme in respect his behaviour assuming he is the perpetrator?

Has children’s services carried out a risk assessment of your partner or intending to one?

Please see our advice sheet Child protection procedures. Your may also find it helpful to read information relating to domestic violence domestic violence relating to mothers and involvement with children’s services.

If children’s services consider that you are not being protective of your children and not cooperating with them, then they may decide to seek legal advice with regard to going to court. This could lead to a pre-proceedings meeting, generally referred to as PLO meeting. You would be entitled to have a solicitor represent you at a PLO meeting. This meeting would be to set out the concerns that children’s services has and give you an opportunity to engage and address whatever is outstanding under the child protection plan to prevent the application being made to the court for a care which, if granted would mean they would share parental responsibility with your and the children’s father if he has it.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie