Why do SS want to speak to ex?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Oct 12, 2018 2:23 pm

Forte wrote:I was referred by someone who I confided in about my ex and his behaviour in the past. I am due to leave the country soon, why are they creating more problems?

What are they going to ask him? I'm so scared.


Dear Forte

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post.

You have not given any indication of what was confided so it is difficult to give you any advice regarding why, as you say, they are creating problems or what questions might be asked of your ex partner.

Children’s services would normally make contact with a parent or person looking after a child where they have received a referral which gives rise to safeguarding concerns. Please read our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services for detailed information of what happens when children’s services receive a referral.

In response to the posts from Miserylovescompany you have given a little more information but still not enough to know the concerns that children’s services has in respect of your child or any safeguarding issues.

Becoming worried or paranoid because of what you read online is not helpful to you or your situation. People who have good outcomes are not complaining so do not post. Of those who post online and give what could sometimes be described as ‘horror stories’ do not always give the full picture of what happened in their cases. Usually, it is all what the social worker has done but no indication of what led to the concerns in the first place and whether they properly engaged. That is not to say that social workers are infallible and do not make mistakes but I think you should not judge your circumstances by those stories.

You mentioned in your post that you are about to leave the country, does this have anything to do with your ex-partner and the disclosure you made? Are children’s services concerned about your plans and safeguarding issues for your child in relation to this proposed move?

Depending on the nature of the disclosure children’s services will want to speak with your child’s father to find out more about the disclosure. It will of course be up to him if he engages with children’s services and I suppose, this may depend on any issues he has about you and his child. His failure to engage will not necessarily mean that the case will be closed. It will depend on the concerns that children’s services has in respect of any safeguarding issues.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm.

I hope this is helpful

Best wishes

Suzie

Forte
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:44 am

Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Forte » Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:53 pm

I'm ashamed to say but I lied about what ex did to me in order to get back at him. I'm worried that I may lose my child or he may lose her. I did it to gain something. What will happen? I have to tell CS that I lied. Will they prosecute me? I've been feeling depressed and irritated for months, I just wanted him to hurt.

Forte
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:44 am

Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Forte » Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:53 pm

I've been stupid and immature. I didn't think of the repercussions.

Forte
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:44 am

Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Forte » Sat Oct 13, 2018 6:54 pm

My daughter has never witnessed DV

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Miserylovescompany2
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Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Miserylovescompany2 » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:11 pm

Hi again - I would suggest you explain this to CS. They would still need to establish if anything did/didn't happen that could be witnessed by a child. CS are also aware that many women retract previous statements through fear. DV is not something they take lightly. I would imagine the child's father will still need to be spoken with.

Depending on the severity of what was said? This could be taken further. For example the child's father may wish to seek legal advice. CS could request to see your medical records to establish more of an understanding? No-one can tell you exactly what will happen next.

Forte
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:44 am

Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Forte » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:14 pm

I did say things that never happened. My medical records would only show my depression.

Why would he have to seek legal advice? Will I have to go to court for lying?

Forte
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2018 10:44 am

Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Forte » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:15 pm

Through fear? In my case I was being vindictive

Forte
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Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Forte » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:21 pm

I'm regretful.

I think they will take my daughter away.

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Miserylovescompany2
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Re: Why do SS want to speak to ex?

Postby Miserylovescompany2 » Sat Oct 13, 2018 8:27 pm

He might not wish to take this further but that would be his decision. This could impact on him greatly not just now but also in the future.

You won't be the first or the last person to have said something that was not true. I would take ownership of this and explain the reason. Just like you did on here.

If I was in your position I would seek some free legal advice so you don't make this worse. I would do that on Monday otherwise this will eat away at you.

Will you go to court? People have said a great deal worse than that and not faced any further action. I can not predict what will happen.


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