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Post by WorriedMumOfChelt » Fri Sep 28, 2018 2:34 pm

Wondering if anybody can help me.
Background story first
On the 19th july this year my ex partner was accused of sexually assaulting a child. (This child is part of an on-going child abuse case involving members of her family and allegedly other people from the street we all live in) she accused my of our female neighbours and a few others though i dont know who they are. Social services became involved and asked me not to elt my ex have any unsupervised contact with our children which i agreed to. (Note we split in may and were living seperately at this time and can prove that). Once my ex was actually arrestes and questioned about this matter (july 30th) and released on bail..they decided he had to have supervised contact in a contact center from that point and no telephone contact with the children. (even though he had no bail conditions about being around his children and the social services actually never said he couldnt be around any other children just mine which is weird because it wasnt my children who accused him). But that was fine i agreed to it as i understood they had a job to do and although i believed he was innocent i understood they didnt know and measures had to be put in place and i agreed fully to adhere to them. forward a couple of weeks they had my children put on child protection because of domestic abuse which occured when our relationship was active...their reasoning for this was they believed i was still under his control and were worried i may not be able to stop him from seeing the children. Before the child protection conference had even taken place they decided to call a legal planning meeting and took the situation higher to PLO. Their reasoning for this was again..they belived he still exercised coercive control over me and didnt like the fact i voiced my opinion that i didnt believe the allegation to be true. (I never said i wouldnt do as they asked though..i even asked for an agreement to be written up and signed to have it in writing about what they expected from me). So im now on PLO. They even tried to get me to sign away my right ro record my meetings with my dictophone (i had been doing this from the beginning) which my solicitor put them straight on right away and told them it was my legal right and i would not be signing anything to that effect. I have been working with a domestic abuse worker and cut all contact with my ex as asked. I have complied completely with everything right from day one. Today i got a call from my ex's mother telling me he has had the allegation dropped and recieved a "no further action" from the police and so has the other lady from my street also. So my question is this: where does that leave me on terms on PLO? The only reason they have me on it in the first place is because they were worried i wouldnt keep him away from the children while the allegation was still ongoing. Now it is well aware they can still see him as a risk but surely the risk is significantly reduced? And surely they cant go on like this forever because he hasnt been charged they have to drop this sooner or later dont they??

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Post by Miserylovescompany2 » Fri Sep 28, 2018 8:33 pm

My advice - keep doing what you are already doing. Make sure your solicitor is up to date with the police not taking this further. I would also think about submitting a formal complaint - CS requesting that you sign away your legal right to record meetings and interactions in an upfront not ok. I am pleased your solicitor put them in their place.

The thing is CS do not like you having an opinion that is not the same as theirs. In their eyes your ex is guilty (even though the police are not pursuing this) and always will be. The DV is simply a smokescreen to monitor your every move.

I would also start the process of obtaining all data they currently hold on you and your children. You will have to submit a form for each family member. I would also suggest your exe does the same. I have a check list of what to request...I will dig this out if you feel it would be of use?

Read some of the stories on here. You are not alone in your struggle. My story doesn't involve any kind of alleged sexual abuse. I can however relate 100% to having your every move and word scrutinised.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Oct 09, 2018 11:47 am

Dear WorriedMumofChelt

Welcome to the parents discussion forum and thank you for posting. I apologise that your post did not receive a response sooner due to volume of work.

My name is Suzie, online adviser, at Family Rights Group. I am sorry that you feel frustrated at situation you find yourself with children’s services (new name for social services) involvement.

You say you separated from your ex-partner in May and in July he was accused as part of a group in your street of sexual assault on a child. Children’s services became involved at this time and said that he could not have unsupervised contact with the children of the family. It would be normal practice for children’s services to take this view when there are allegations of the type your ex-partner was being investigated for by the police. They have a duty to ensure that children are not put at risk and they would need to safeguard them by ensuring there was no unsupervised contact. It is good that you followed the request that was made in respect of unsupervised contact. It does not matter whether he had bail conditions or not children’s services duty to the children is the important factor.

It seems that children’s services had concerns other than the allegation relating to sexual assault in respect of your relationship with your ex-partner. You say in your post that despite being separated they were of the view that because of the nature of the relationship you might not be strong enough to ensure that he did not have unsupervised contact. Children’s services would look at the domestic violence that occurred and the impact that had on the children’s emotional well-being. They want to know that you fully understand the concerns and have insight about your situation so it will be helpful to you engaging with DV services.

Please read information on our website relating to domestic violence here.

If children’s services have concerns about how well a parent or other person with care of a child/ren will work with a child protection plan or their understanding of the concerns that they have, it is not unusual for them to consider going to their legal department for advice about the case.

You have a solicitor representing you now that the case has been taken to PLO (public law outline) the pre proceedings stage. I believe your solicitor would have advised you about this and the importance of doing what children’s services ask to prevent them starting court proceedings. Please read our advice sheet Child protection procedures

Your ex-partner’s case has ended with no further action being taken by the police. This does not mean that children’s services will not still have concerns. The police and children’s services are concerned about different things. The standard of proof required in criminal matters is beyond reasonable doubt and the police are concerned that they have evidence to bring a successful prosecution. The standard of proof in non-criminal cases is on the balance of probability, which means it is more likely to have happened than not. The fact that the police are not pursuing the case maybe lack of evidence. Children’s services may take the view this only means there was not enough evidence not that it not happen.

To answer your question where does it leave you and PLO, it means that you still need to work with children’s services under the child protection plan to address whatever concerns they had to lead to PLO in the first plan. You will have been informed at the PLO informed at the PLO meeting of what needs to be done and the time scale for doing it. Your solicitor will be able to advise you more since he or she will have all the information relating to your case.

You may also find it helpful to read our advice sheet relating to Care (and related) proceedings

Should you wish to speak to an adviser about your case, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes


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