Daughter pregnant at tender age of 13 :(

Pixienix
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:37 pm

Daughter pregnant at tender age of 13 :(

Postby Pixienix » Wed Oct 21, 2015 11:37 am

Hi, I am a mum of 4, 2 have left home & I have 2 beautiful grandsons. We recently moved to a smaller place with 2 bedrooms & we have now found out my 13 yr old is 18 weeks pregnant! She must of conceived before we moved house. I didn't know she was sexually active until the end of July when she came to me & said she had slept with her bf but used a condom. I took her to the gp to get the mini pill as I decided if she had done it once, she would probably do it again, little did I know it was a bit too late for that! She is still with the father, which is good!
I have had social services visit & as I have agreed to help with the baby so she can continue her education, I was led to believe they would leave us alone but I had a call saying she was at risk, there has been a lack of supervision & my parenting is in question so she has been put on the child protection list.
I have no idea what this entails & I have heard nothing since. My daughter has signed up for a family nurse practitioner to visit once a week until the child is 2 years old, by which time she will be 16.
Has anyone any advice on this, I am unsure if I will be the babies guardian or just helping out while my daughter is at school & what benefits we will be entitled to. At the moment I work from home as a telephonist 9 - 3 mon - fri, we get working & family tax credits & child benefit & I get pip as I am riddled with arthritis. When the baby arrives, I of course will no longer be able to continue with my job & I feel a bit in limbo right now :/

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 1716
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Daughter pregnant at tender age of 13 :(

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Oct 22, 2015 4:42 pm

Dear Pixienix

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. My name is Suzie, one of FRG’s online advisers. We are an organisation that advises families where Childrens’ Services may be involved.

You have stated that a multi- agency child protection plan has been put in place with regards to your 13 year old daughter because there are concerns about her welfare. It seems apparent that professionals are worried about the supervision of your daughter because of her young age, and also due to the fact that she is 18 weeks pregnant at this time.

From the information you have posted it is uncertain whether the police are planning to pursue any prosecution against the father of the child, however you have mentioned that a child protection plan is in place which implies the presence of a member from the Police Child Protection Team being present at the initial child protection conference meeting.

The Family Nurse Partnership was an evidence based initiative developed in the United States. It offers targeted support services to young parents under 19 will be a crucial part of your daughter’s support network for the first two years of the baby’s life.

As maternal grandmother you will be a key part of the professional information sharing network and an integral part of the core group and any professional assessments that are undertaken of your daughter’s parenting capacity.

It may be useful for you to support your daughter in requesting a family group conference is undertaken, so that you can participate in making safe plans for and following the birth of the baby.

If you are intending to put yourself forward as a joint carer or proposed long term carer in the event that circumstances change and she is not assessed as being able to meet the baby’s needs.

It is advisable that you put a written proposal to the social worker and copy it to the team manager, so that you can be carefully considered in any care planning decisions from the outset.

If you have specific queries, about your daughter’s or your own situation, please feel free to post back with more information.

Best Wishes

Suzie

Pixienix
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Oct 19, 2015 10:37 pm

Re: Daughter pregnant at tender age of 13 :(

Postby Pixienix » Thu Oct 22, 2015 11:58 pm

Hi, thanks for your reply, yes there is going to be a child protection plan meeting, the father of the baby is the same age so police aren't involved and social services are not visiting him or family but my daughter and unborn child will be allocated a social worker and go on the cp register. She has a family Nurse practioner visiting weekly til the baby is 2, which I feel is a fantastic idea! I have no idea if ss are planning on me being guardian or long term carer, my daughter has made it clear it's her baby and she will care for it when not at school, a few sleepless nights and I can see that changing! She is just a child after all. As for the lack of supervision, I always know where she is and she has a time to get in by, I knew she was spending time with this lad for about 6 months, she's been to his house when his mum is there and he's been here with us for tea. My daughter came to me at the end of July and said they had done it once with condoms, we had a discussion about her being so young and the importance of staying safe and agreed to go to the gp for the mini pill with her, as decided if she's done it once, she will do it again...little did I know, this was too late and she must of conceived in June. She had been taking pads as usual from the bathroom so I reckon she knew but didn't know what to do


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