desperate to find out what the future holds after sgo
desperate to find out what the future holds after sgo
Hi. I was really hoping that someone would be able to help me. I agreed in nov 2013 for my daughter, who was 19 months old at the the timem to stay with my mum untill I could sort things out in my life. My mental health wasnt great and i had just ended a really bad relationship with my daughters father. I then started drinking again. ( I used to have a problem before I fell pregnant but stopped until this point. I felt that at the time she was best off with my mum until I was better. I then couldnt offord to keep my house and became homeless. This made things a million times worse and I ended up going back to my ex. I started to do really well after finding a room but my landlord gave me notice around 4 months after this and I once again started drinking and went back to my ex. During this time I have had both supervised then unsupervised then supervised then unsupervised. I decided that I wanted my daughter back with me. I didnt return her but I did later that evening. Social services then advised my mum to go for special gaurdianship. My parenting has never been an issue and there was never any concerns if neglect. It was just my housing issues and that I have been drinking since my daughter went to my mums. I did agree to the sgo, as I didn't really have a leg to stand on, especially with my housing situation. What I really need to know is where the future stands concerning contact long term, unsupervised accsess and overnights, weekends, shared care? Once I have my accommodation sorted and ive been off the booze for a period if time? I am starting a parenting course next week and am seeing the mental health team. I am also staring up my alcohol appointments again. Please if anyone can help me I would be so greatfull. I sit fir hours everynight trying to find this info but I can't find any answers. Im driving myself crazy, I miss my daughter so much. Is there any hope for the future? Many thanks
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4260
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: desperate to find out what the future holds after sgo
Dear ace28
Welcome to the parents' discussion board.
I am sorry to hear that you have experienced such a difficult time with regards to your daughter and the issues that you have raised in your post. From what you have written, it suggests you have developed insight about the past circumstances and reasons why your child may have been placed at risk. As a result your daughter is placed under a special guardianship order within the extended family network.
Furthermore, it is also positive to hear that you recognise the need to make positive changes in order to turn your life around, so that you could once again be in a position to prioritise her need for safety and security, and have already started to put these in place ie attending a parenting course and engaging with mental health services.
You may also wish to attend the Freedom Programme to raise your awareness of the risks of how to keep yourself (and any child in your care) safe in order to prevent your likelihood of being exposed to domestic abuse.
In order for a court to consider your daughter being returned to your care, it will be essential that you are able to demonstrate your ability to address and sustain any changes on a long term basis. You will be aware that the current court order is designed to last until a child reaches 18, but under certain circumstances if a parent has been assessed as making sufficient progress to meet their children's needs, it is not guaranteed but may be possible to have this overturned in a court of law.
In the meantime I am enclosing a copy of our advice sheet on special guardianship orders for birth parents for your information.
Alternatively, if you wish to speak to an adviser please contact our advice line Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.00 pm on 0808 801 0366.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents' discussion board.
I am sorry to hear that you have experienced such a difficult time with regards to your daughter and the issues that you have raised in your post. From what you have written, it suggests you have developed insight about the past circumstances and reasons why your child may have been placed at risk. As a result your daughter is placed under a special guardianship order within the extended family network.
Furthermore, it is also positive to hear that you recognise the need to make positive changes in order to turn your life around, so that you could once again be in a position to prioritise her need for safety and security, and have already started to put these in place ie attending a parenting course and engaging with mental health services.
You may also wish to attend the Freedom Programme to raise your awareness of the risks of how to keep yourself (and any child in your care) safe in order to prevent your likelihood of being exposed to domestic abuse.
In order for a court to consider your daughter being returned to your care, it will be essential that you are able to demonstrate your ability to address and sustain any changes on a long term basis. You will be aware that the current court order is designed to last until a child reaches 18, but under certain circumstances if a parent has been assessed as making sufficient progress to meet their children's needs, it is not guaranteed but may be possible to have this overturned in a court of law.
In the meantime I am enclosing a copy of our advice sheet on special guardianship orders for birth parents for your information.
Alternatively, if you wish to speak to an adviser please contact our advice line Monday to Friday 09.30 am to 03.00 pm on 0808 801 0366.
Best Wishes
Suzie
Re: desperate to find out what the future holds after sgo
Hi suzie, thank you for your reply. Would you be able to help with a few more things please? How long do you think that i would have to show my life being stable and maintaing the changes i have made, before it being taken into account by the court? As i wouldn't want to apply too early or too late that they could say i have left it too long. I have also read that a judge has to give his permission for my case to even be heard? And there must be signifecant changes that will affect the child. Do you think that me getting my life together would be significant? Sorry for all the questions but its driving me insane with so many unanswered question. My mum has said that as long as everything is as it should be then she will also tell the court that she is happy for my daughter to return to my care. Would this help? Also, regarding contact? There was no contact order made at court as my mum said she was happy to supervise but the independent social worker who wrote the report for the sgo recommended i see my daughter twice a week, being lowered to once a week once she starts school. I would never have agreed to this and my daughters social worker at present tells me that me and my mum must stick to what the independent social worker wrote. I do not agree, as if that should have been the case then surely the judge should have made a contact order? Is it not my mums desision? Just one last thing, would it also be my mums desision to begin allowing unsupervised contact when she decides the timd be right, also overnights as i was told one thing by my solicitor before and my mum being told different by my daughters present social worker. (My daughter is now off child protection and the ss will only be involved now for a short period before closing case) please, i know i have asked a lot but i just cant seem to find this info anywhere. Thanks in advance
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4260
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: desperate to find out what the future holds after sgo
Dear Ace28,
As your mum was awarded a special guardianship order, she must have passed a very detailed and in depth assessment by children services, which would have also been seen by the court. Her parental responsibility will be enhanced as well.
This means that there will be an expectation that any decision she makes will be in your daughter’s best interests including her decision about your contact, return home of your daughter.
At the moment, I assume that you have not made the necessary steps to seek the support that you need around your alcohol use and your housing needs so that is why the social worker recommended that contact remains supervised.
However, as soon as you have turned your life around then I expect your mum will take this into account and that your contact may well move onto unsupervised. By then, children services will probably have closed their case, although the school and other services such as the GP will be involved as normal.
If you are working with the services that you need, get letters from them that prove that you, for example, no longer have a drink problem and that you are complying with your treatment for your mental health.
Keep a paper trail of your housing, so if you have to move out of a tenancy, get the land lord to explain why-is the tenancy came to an end. Not because of something that you did.
When you go back to court, it might be that your daughter has already moved back with you or that you are having unsupervised contact because your mother has already seen that things are safe with you. her position will carry a lot of weight. She could always seek advice from children services, if she felt she needed it.
The court may decide on your mother’s say-so that things are safe and so discharge the order without further reference to children services.
Or it may want a report from children services-just to make sure.
When you apply to court to discharge the special guardianship order, yes you will need to apply for permission to the court first.
You will need to show that there has been “significant change of circumstances” since the original SGO was made. This will include looking at how likely you are to succeed in your main application to end the Special guardianship order. You would also need to set out why it is in your daughters best interests.
I can’t advise how long you need to wait. However, the services that you will be getting might be able to advise. For example, how long would you need to be free of alcohol for them to recommend that this seems permanent? Would you need a plan with your mother, that if you did have a drink, you would contact her for help?
Is your mental health now strong enough to care for your daughter? If you felt that your mental health might be deteriorating what plan would you have around help for your daughter? can your mental heath services advise you?
If your Mum is agreeing to the special guardianship order being discharged, then she could do a letter in support. You can exhibit supporting letters from the alcohol services, mental health or your GP, the freedom programme about how your life has been turned around.
I hope this answers some of your questions. But please post back if you have nay more questions.
Best wishes,
Suzie
As your mum was awarded a special guardianship order, she must have passed a very detailed and in depth assessment by children services, which would have also been seen by the court. Her parental responsibility will be enhanced as well.
This means that there will be an expectation that any decision she makes will be in your daughter’s best interests including her decision about your contact, return home of your daughter.
At the moment, I assume that you have not made the necessary steps to seek the support that you need around your alcohol use and your housing needs so that is why the social worker recommended that contact remains supervised.
However, as soon as you have turned your life around then I expect your mum will take this into account and that your contact may well move onto unsupervised. By then, children services will probably have closed their case, although the school and other services such as the GP will be involved as normal.
If you are working with the services that you need, get letters from them that prove that you, for example, no longer have a drink problem and that you are complying with your treatment for your mental health.
Keep a paper trail of your housing, so if you have to move out of a tenancy, get the land lord to explain why-is the tenancy came to an end. Not because of something that you did.
When you go back to court, it might be that your daughter has already moved back with you or that you are having unsupervised contact because your mother has already seen that things are safe with you. her position will carry a lot of weight. She could always seek advice from children services, if she felt she needed it.
The court may decide on your mother’s say-so that things are safe and so discharge the order without further reference to children services.
Or it may want a report from children services-just to make sure.
When you apply to court to discharge the special guardianship order, yes you will need to apply for permission to the court first.
You will need to show that there has been “significant change of circumstances” since the original SGO was made. This will include looking at how likely you are to succeed in your main application to end the Special guardianship order. You would also need to set out why it is in your daughters best interests.
I can’t advise how long you need to wait. However, the services that you will be getting might be able to advise. For example, how long would you need to be free of alcohol for them to recommend that this seems permanent? Would you need a plan with your mother, that if you did have a drink, you would contact her for help?
Is your mental health now strong enough to care for your daughter? If you felt that your mental health might be deteriorating what plan would you have around help for your daughter? can your mental heath services advise you?
If your Mum is agreeing to the special guardianship order being discharged, then she could do a letter in support. You can exhibit supporting letters from the alcohol services, mental health or your GP, the freedom programme about how your life has been turned around.
I hope this answers some of your questions. But please post back if you have nay more questions.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Re: desperate to find out what the future holds after sgo
Hi suzie, thank u for ur reply, i have only just come accross it as it didnt show up in notifications. Things havent really changed since the sgo in january but the good news is i now have a life time tenency on a housing association flat. And housing was allways my biggest problem. Im still not having unsupervised but i see my daugbyer everyday which as best as i can hope for at tis time. I have my menyal health appointment inay which i am lookinv foward to after waotin so long and i am seeinv my alcohol worker tomoro to discuss options on what next. But i could really use some advice please. Although i think i know the answer to this. I have just found out that i am pregnant. Im devastated. Although i would love nothimg more than to have another baby, im realistic and know that really i dont have a choice. Would you be able to advise me on the possible outcome if i was to go ahead with thia pregnacy please? I cant talk to anyone about this as i know they will all have a go and judge me. Thank u
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4260
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: desperate to find out what the future holds after sgo
Hello ace28
I am sorry that you missed the reply which was posted 9 March 2015.
It is very good news that you now have secure accommodation for yourself as this will go a long way in helping you to be settled and stable whilst trying to turn your life around.
Although your contact remains supervised, there has been a change in that you are now able to see your daughter every day. This is a real step forward and you will hopefully, soon be able to move to unsupervised contact if you continue with and maintain the changes you are making at present. Do continue to keep your appointments with your alcohol adviser and mental health services so that you have the support you need.
Regarding your pregnancy, Children Services will be concerned because of their involvement with you and your ability to care for your daughter. However, you are working hard to make changes in your life and they will need to look at your situation now. As the pregnancy is new, you should make sure you tell Children Services about it so that it shows that you are being open and honest with them. You must engage with antenatal services and keep your appointments.
Children Services are unlikely to do very much in the early stages of your pregnancy but later on they may want to arrange a meeting to discuss plans for when the baby is born. This is a called pre birth planning and could include a Child Protection conference if Children Services are worried about your ability to care for the baby. Our advice sheet on child protection procedures is here for your information. Please also look at our website and our frequently asked questions here.
Children Services are likely to look at the progress you have made and should carry out a new assessment in relation to your changed circumstances.
My advice is that you continue to work with your support services in respect of your drinking and mental health. Ensure that your home is kept clean and tidy to show that you have made improvements in your lifestyle and your ability to safely parent a child. If you have not already done so, as previously advised you should engage with a Freedom programme to improve you parenting.
Most importantly, if you decide to progress your pregnancy, when Children Services become involved you should cooperate with them and work with the social worker regarding any pre-birth meetings or assessments.
I hope you will find this information helpful but should you wish to speak to an Adviser, please do telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.
Best wishes,
Suzie
I am sorry that you missed the reply which was posted 9 March 2015.
It is very good news that you now have secure accommodation for yourself as this will go a long way in helping you to be settled and stable whilst trying to turn your life around.
Although your contact remains supervised, there has been a change in that you are now able to see your daughter every day. This is a real step forward and you will hopefully, soon be able to move to unsupervised contact if you continue with and maintain the changes you are making at present. Do continue to keep your appointments with your alcohol adviser and mental health services so that you have the support you need.
Regarding your pregnancy, Children Services will be concerned because of their involvement with you and your ability to care for your daughter. However, you are working hard to make changes in your life and they will need to look at your situation now. As the pregnancy is new, you should make sure you tell Children Services about it so that it shows that you are being open and honest with them. You must engage with antenatal services and keep your appointments.
Children Services are unlikely to do very much in the early stages of your pregnancy but later on they may want to arrange a meeting to discuss plans for when the baby is born. This is a called pre birth planning and could include a Child Protection conference if Children Services are worried about your ability to care for the baby. Our advice sheet on child protection procedures is here for your information. Please also look at our website and our frequently asked questions here.
Children Services are likely to look at the progress you have made and should carry out a new assessment in relation to your changed circumstances.
My advice is that you continue to work with your support services in respect of your drinking and mental health. Ensure that your home is kept clean and tidy to show that you have made improvements in your lifestyle and your ability to safely parent a child. If you have not already done so, as previously advised you should engage with a Freedom programme to improve you parenting.
Most importantly, if you decide to progress your pregnancy, when Children Services become involved you should cooperate with them and work with the social worker regarding any pre-birth meetings or assessments.
I hope you will find this information helpful but should you wish to speak to an Adviser, please do telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m. Monday to Friday.
Best wishes,
Suzie
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