HOW MUCH MORE?

miss l
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:55 am

HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby miss l » Sun Dec 14, 2014 9:42 pm

HI SUSIE, I HAVE BEEN GOING THRO THIS HELL FOR 18 MONTH NOW,AND NOW GOING INTO MY 2ND XMAS WITHOUT MY 2 BOYS AGED 9 AND 3,,IM TRYIN TO STAY STRONG,BT HOW MUCH CAN U TAKE??THEY ARE IN LOOKED AFTER ACCOMIDATION WITH FOSTOR CARERS,,MY MUM AND BROTHER WERE DESPERATE FOR THEM BT DUE TO AN INCIDENT WITH MY 14 YEAR OLD NEICE(SHE JAMMED MY BRO ARM IN A DOOR AND HE PUT HIS FEET ON THE DOOR TO GET IT OFF, NOTHIN ELSE,,HE EVEN WENT TO THE POLICE TO GET HIMSELF CLEAR,,MY NEICE WAS CAUSIN A BIT OF TROUBLE AT THE TIME,,AND ALSO SOCIAL WORK CAME OUT TO SEE HIM AND WERE HAPPY WITH EVERYTHING,,BT YET ITS TOOK 18 MONTH TO INVESTIGATE AND MY MUM AND BRO HAV NEVER HAD ANY CONTACT WOTSOEVR WITH THE BOYS,WHY IS THAT RIGHT,THEYVE DONE NOTHIN WRONG,,WE HAD A PERMANANCE MEETIN 3 WEEKS AGO,AND HAV SAID THAT THEY ARE GOIN TO RECOMMEND MY BRO,BT HASNT TO GET CONTACT TILL IT GOES TO THE PANEL,,MY BRO ALSO HAD THEM FOR 3 MONTH IN 2012,,THAT WAS THE TIME I REALLY SHOULD HAV SORTED THE PROBLEMS,,NOW ITS CAME TO THIS,,BUT AT THAT TIME I GOT THROU THE MOTIONS,,BUT INSIDE I STILL HAD LOW MOODS AND ANXIETY,,AND I REACHED OUT FOR A VALIUM AS THAT WAS HOW I COPED,AND BECAUSE I DIDNT TAKE THEM ALL THE TIME I DIDNT THINK IT WAS A PROBLEM,,IT WAS ONLY WHEN I STARTED WORKING ON MYSELF,I REALISED THAT I WAS NUMBIN MY FEELING AND THAT MEANT MY KIDS TO,,I HAVE TOLD THEM THAT I WASNT AWARE AT FIRST,BUT I AM NOW,I WOOD NEVER EVER HARM THEM,THEY ARE MY ENTIRE LIFE,AND I MADE SURE THEY WERE CLEAN PRESENTABLE AND WELL MANNERED WEE BOYS,S.S HAVE SAID THAT I HAVENT BEEN THERE EMOTIONALLY FOR THEM,BUT I KNO I DID MY BEST,I SIT EVERYNITE AND ASK MYSELF WERE I WENT WRONG,,SO NOW IM TRYIN TO ACCEPT THAT I WILL NEVER BE THAT MUM AGAIN TO THEM,,I WILL GIVE IT ONE LAST GO AT THIS PANEL,,AND IF THEY R NOT GIVIN ME MY BOYS,,THEN PLS GOD GIVE THEM TO THERE FAMILY,,THEN EVEN AT THAT ITS A BIT OF PEACE IN MY MIND,,CAN YOU TELL ME IF THEY DO GO TO MY BRO,,DOES THAT MEAN THAT I HAVE TO SIGN MY RIGHTS OVER TO HIM???I JST DONT THINK I COULD DO IT,,I NEVER HAD MY BOYS FOR THIS TO HAPPEN,I JUST WANT TO GET MORE CONFIDENT AND STRONGER AND MAKE THEM PROUD OF ME,MY 9 YEAR OLD IS STILL ASKEN WHAT IS ROOM IS LIKE AND THAT HE WANTS ME,MY 3 YEAR OLD HAS BEEN VERY EMOTIONAL,AND THE LAST FEW TIMES HAS SCREAMED WHEN ITS TIME TO LEAVE ME AGAIN,HE WANTS TO KNO WHY HE CANT GO AFTER HIS MUMMY,,HOW MUCH MORE??I ALSO HAVE A 19 YEAR OLD BOY AT HOME,WHO HAS DONE WELL WITH HIS LIFE,DOESNT SMOKE OR DRINK AND HAS DONE GREAT IN ALL EXAMS,STILL IN FULL TIME STUDIES WHO ADORES HIS WEE BROTHERS AND VICE VERSA, ,I WILL DO EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING

ange301126
Posts: 536
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby ange301126 » Sun Dec 14, 2014 10:21 pm

Dear miss I, Are the children under a full care-order issued by a Court?

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 1716
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Dec 15, 2014 2:17 pm

Dear Miss I,
Welcome to the parents forum. I am so sorry to hear that your younger children are in foster care.
Are you now having counselling or therapy to help treat the anxiety and low moods so that you could parent your children again?
You are hoping that your children will be coming home to you. As ange has asked-are your children subject to
: care orders? Or did you agree to them being
: accommodated? If your children are not able to come home to you, you are right to push for them to go and live with people in your friend or family network or a : connected person.

Here is an advice sheet which sets out the : duties to children in the care system and details the review process.

Whether or not there is a court order keeping your children in the care system you will still have
: parental responsibility to be involved in the decision making process.

Please post back or if you want to discuss in depth you could also call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie

miss l
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:55 am

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby miss l » Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:41 am

ange301126 wrote:Dear miss I, Are the children under a full care-order issued by a Court?
hi ange,,no i agreed for them to be accomodated,bt that was b,cause i thought they wood hav went to my mums house,,they said it wood be tempory,i didnt sign anything i thought workin with them wood hav been better,bt if i knew wot i know now i wouldnt have,,to tell u the truth i didnt think any body could have took them from me|| how long was i x
Last edited by miss l on Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

ange301126
Posts: 536
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby ange301126 » Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:46 am

Dear Miss I, From what you have told us, you probably made a mistake signing the S20 voluntary accommodation agreement. Can I ask you, did the social worker threaten to remove your children into care if you did not sign?

May I also suggest that you read the thread entitled ' CONSIDERING WITHDRAWING CONSENT FOR S20'. by JXH.

It may help to know you are not the only one facing these problems.
Last edited by ange301126 on Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

miss l
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:55 am

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby miss l » Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:04 am

Suzie, FRG Adviser wrote:Dear Miss I,
Welcome to the parents forum. I am so sorry to hear that your younger children are in foster care.
Are you now having counselling or therapy to help treat the anxiety and low moods so that you could parent your children again?
You are hoping that your children will be coming home to you. As ange has asked-are your children subject to
: care orders? Or did you agree to them being
: accommodated? If your children are not able to come home to you, you are right to push for them to go and live with people in your friend or family network or a : connected person.

Here is an advice sheet which sets out the : duties to children in the care system and details the review process.

Whether or not there is a court order keeping your children in the care system you will still have
: parental responsibility to be involved in the decision making process.

Please post back or if you want to discuss in depth you could also call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,
Suzie
ps,i didnt sign anything

miss l
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:55 am

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby miss l » Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:13 am

ange301126 wrote:Dear Miss I, From what you have told us, you probably made a mistake signing the S20 voluntary accommodation agreement. Can I ask you, did the social worker threaten to remove your children into care if you did not sign?

May I also suggest that you read the thread entitled ' CONSIDERING WITHDRAWING CONSENT FOR S20'. by JXH.

It may help to know you are not the only one facing these problems.
cheers ange, wot doesnt kill u makes u stronger,stay strong x

ange301126
Posts: 536
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:27 pm

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby ange301126 » Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:41 am

Dear miss I,

Do you recall the exact day and date the CS came and demanded you agree to voluntary care?
Surely you signed something, you must have! A form S20 perhaps? I believe you when you say you did not but I am just double-checking.
Also, did the sw's tell you of advocacy services and your right to obtain advocacy before agreeing? Or did they forget,they often do!

warthhog123
Posts: 152
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:07 pm

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby warthhog123 » Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:09 pm

Hi
Im a little confused by your case how ever you must have signed a s20 or they could not possible remove your children unless police came and threatened a EPO. You have the right to withdraw an s20 although if children are still at risk they will go for care order.
You need to stay strong but focused and remember all thats said take notes record things... Please try to get advocacy alliance involved having third party really can help and they are really good and trust worthy... Do not be bullied or fooled into thinking you must attend these things alone. I made the mistake of believing my social worker when she said i couldnt have support!!!!!!

Question everything make sure they explain and speak up if things are wrong you still have full PR which is more than most..

warthhog123
Posts: 152
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:07 pm

Re: HOW MUCH MORE?

Postby warthhog123 » Wed Dec 17, 2014 8:12 pm

What help are you getting for yourself?? and what have social told you to change in order to have them returned??? What are the risks?? how much contact do you have currently??


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