rock bottom

charmed1
Posts: 125
Joined: Sun May 26, 2013 2:11 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby charmed1 » Mon Feb 24, 2014 9:54 am

Dear frustrated mum, teenagers think they know it all and yours seem to just want to act out to the extreme may I say. You need to be strong and as you have parental responsibility - reverse that - you have to be a responsible parent. Irrespective of what your daughters are doing. Work with the carer. Sympathy does goes out to her in these circumstances. I speak from experience. Our two are in foster care with people who should only have been short term carers. Our kids are likely to be there over a year by the time our mess comes to a head. So what I'm saying is the foster carers aren't supported either. As for the daughter who's accused of police assault. You must go to court and support your daughter. There seems to be a lot of bravado and I'm sure when your daughter is in court she will finally realise she needs her mum. Courts are scary places. Keep strong and just be there for them. The social services will see you haven't given up on yourself or your kids. Good luck!
Last edited by charmed1 on Sun Mar 02, 2014 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

frustrated mum
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:57 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby frustrated mum » Mon Feb 24, 2014 12:27 pm

Sw phoned this morning , they are sorting a placement for my eldest where she will be the only child so she has no influences. The sw for once agreed that a residential placement isnt suitable. So they do listen. She agreed with me that my daughter is trying to play me and the carer off against each other and said i was saying the right thing to my daughter. So we will wait for the court date. And suppose see what tomorrow brings.

frustrated mum
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:57 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby frustrated mum » Sun Mar 02, 2014 1:32 am

Cant get a house, dont get any support . Fed up of the lit of the child snatching parasites. How the hell do they sleep at night?

charmed1
Posts: 125
Joined: Sun May 26, 2013 2:11 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby charmed1 » Sun Mar 02, 2014 10:35 am

Hi frustrated mum. It's a job to them. They get a few months training then think they can change the world. We had a PEP meeting for our 4yr old son on Thursday. They are only now looking to assess their needs even though we've told them about this and other issues only to be blamed for them. I can't go into too much detail just in case these so called professionals try and access these forums. Just to say the sw admirably showed just how stupid she is in front of our son's teacher, head, foster carer and my husband and I. Well done and thank you for causing more problems than you are fixing.
Last edited by charmed1 on Sun Mar 02, 2014 1:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

blueplain
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:07 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby blueplain » Sun Mar 02, 2014 11:55 am

Hi frustrated

I know it can be very depressing and frustrating at times. Even more so when you have had time to think or close to a meeting. You are not alone. I know how you feel and I understand how difficult it is not to let it get to you. However try to distract yourself and enjoy your days. I know no amount of cups of tea can solve the problem but just remember you are a good person. Do not let them make you feel guilty. You are doing your best. Unfortunately it is a long process and everything can not be resolved in a day but you are a good person and you will prevail.

frustrated mum
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:57 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby frustrated mum » Sun Mar 02, 2014 5:56 pm

Sorry for my silly o'clock in the morning rant. We are all in the same boat. Thank you for your messages of support. I am a good mum, even chair person at last meeting said things just went out of my control and it wasnt my fault however much the ss says it is. I just need reminding at times. I've not seen my daughters this weekend for 2 reasons A) im ill doctor says i need to chill! B) punishment for being very badly behaved last week. As they expect ttreats and meals out each time i see them so this wk tough.
So tomorrow monday, wonder what bs will be thrown at us all then x

blueplain
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 12:07 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby blueplain » Tue Mar 04, 2014 9:42 am

frustrated mum wrote:Sorry for my silly o'clock in the morning rant. We are all in the same boat. Thank you for your messages of support. I am a good mum, even chair person at last meeting said things just went out of my control and it wasnt my fault however much the ss says it is. I just need reminding at times. I've not seen my daughters this weekend for 2 reasons A) im ill doctor says i need to chill! B) punishment for being very badly behaved last week. As they expect ttreats and meals out each time i see them so this wk tough.
So tomorrow monday, wonder what bs will be thrown at us all then x


I know how it is, you can get concerns raised out of the blue you do not expect and its a rollercoaster ride, Some times everything is positive and your really happy and then the spanner gets thrown into the works. Even though things do not go according to plan all the time you are heading in the right direction. Deep into my I tervention I was worried what a new day would bring but I knew I was a good person and that it will all turn out OK and it did. I am confident it will be the same for you.

frustrated mum
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:57 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby frustrated mum » Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:31 am

Sods law, the council phoned to offer me the 3 bed house i bid on just before the girls left. I had to turn it down as i would be hit with bedrm tax etc and on my wages by myself i wouldnt be able to pay the rent. So i have had to change my application to a 1 bed. I still dont know if i can afford to do this but its the only way of my girls coming home to me. Really stuck as no longer got family support worker. I wonder if i should have my own refferal to ss as a vunerable adult as history of dv? Havent a clue.

frustrated mum
Posts: 81
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 3:57 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby frustrated mum » Fri Mar 07, 2014 5:03 pm

Eldest daughter been moved again. Worried what effect this will have on her younger sister. Also on the eldest as this is her 3rd placement since she left 27th jan.

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 1720
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: rock bottom

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Mar 07, 2014 5:53 pm

Dear frustrated mum

I just wanted to let you know about an organisation called the Rights of Women as they have expertise in providing emotional and practical support where women who may have been subject to domestic abuse.

My apologies for the brief post but I will give you a more detailed reply next week.

Best Wishes

Suzie


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