Hi just hoping for some advice-long story so I do apologise.
So 3 months ago my daughter (13)reported she seen my partners phone above the bathroom door whilst getting changed (I was at work) I came straight home and and kicked him out. Now my daughter story didn't quite add up (saying she seen the bank card in the back of his phone case... That was on the bedroom side) and as soon as the police where mentioned she quickly went back and forth on her story saying maybe in was the cat/something out of the corner of her eye ect.
The police promptly arrested him and social services came. The social worker was happy to put us on a child in need plan not child protection due to my quick safeguarding and obvious care for my children. At this point I signed a written agreement stating he [name removed by Suzie] could only have contact with the children (13) (9) his step children and then (1) our son together. After 6 weeks the police came back with not enough evidence to charge so case was dropped. Further along the line a lado meeting was held (he works with children and was suspended) and the case was resolved as unfounded - meaning he was safe to go back to work. At this point my daughter is still saying she isn't sure what she seen but wants us to be back together as a family and that she feels safe with partner here. We have a new social worker who's adamant that if he keeps questioning my daughter that she will tell him the truth. She has said repeatedly said she's not sure what she seen. Also in regards to us being back together as a family he repeatedly says just because he isn't a risk to the 150 children he works with doesn't mean he isn't a risk at home? It's in my impression that if the police/lado team thought he was a risk to any child at all he would not be allowed to work with children? At a loss of what to do next? This has been 14 weeks of hell more so for the younger children and with all members of the family wanting the same thing but we are now being held up by the social care team. If anyone can advise me on what I can do I would be greatful
Thanks
Social services
Social services
Last edited by Suzie, FRG Adviser on Tue Aug 25, 2020 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Removal of name
Reason: Removal of name
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4260
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Social services
Dear RSS321,
Welcome to the Parents Forum. I am Suzie, FRG’s online adviser.
I can see what a worrying situation it is for you but also for children services. Neither you nor children services were present when the incident occurred, so it is difficult to know what is true. Children services will consider that on the face of it, your daughter might have been mistaken but equally she might have been correct in what she had seen. This might have been the start of a grooming process -getting your daughter use to this behaviour (so not recording and so no evidence) to see whether she told you about what she had seen. Due to shame there can be a culture of silence around sexual abuse. The fact your daughter was able to talk to you immediately indicates she has a very open and trusting relationship with you. Many children could not have spoken about this to their parent.
You should be commended for being so protective of your children. Due to your quick action in calling the police and kicking your partner out of the family home means children services view you as protective of your children. That you listened to and believed your daughter even if she is not so sure now.
Children services assessment concluded that there need only be a “child in need” plan. This means children services are only involved with your consent. This contrasts with child protection where a plan is compulsory.
Because there is a child in need plan, this means the case is not closed. Instead it has moved from the assessment team (who assessed your family) to a “family support” team or “long term” team. Work will now be done with the family around protecting your daughter but also your other children from “potential” abuse.
Once any work has been completed, consideration will be given to your partner moving back into the family home.
Have you had a child in need meeting yet? If so, what does the plan say? As well as your children being seen and spoken to alone by the social worker (often at school and at home) what other support is being considered? There is the NSPCC Mothers as Protectors course you could enquire about. You could also look at the Parents Protect website which has support around possible sexual abuse risks.
Does your partner attend the child in need meetings?
Does your daughter have an advocate? You could ask children services about local advocacy or contact NYAS who have a helpline for children and can advise about advocacy services. If your daughters voice is not being heard by the social worker, she could seek her own advice about this.
You ask that if the police are not worried why are children services still involved?
The role of the police is to investigate to see whether there is enough evidence to prosecute your partner for any criminal offence. To prove a case in a criminal court, they would have to show “beyond reasonable doubt” (so 80% he did it to 20% he did not do it). Without evidence from the phone or another witness or your partner admitting it, the chances of proving it may be too low. They would not want to put a child through a court case if there is a low chance of success. However, this does not mean he did not do it. Children services role is different-to protect children. Their balance of proof is much lower-on the balance of probabilities so 51% to 49%. So they may still be concerned about your partner.
You ask when will children services close their case?
I suggest you ask the social worker:
• how long he thinks he will be involved?
• What can you do as a mum to progress the case and work towards the case being closed?
• What needs to happen for the case to be closed?
• Is there a chance of your partner moving back into the family home?
As a child in need plan is with your consent this means you could ask that the case is closed anytime you want. However, there are risks. First, I suggest emailing the social worker and team manager and ask what would happen if you no longer consented to their involvement in your family? Would it go up to child protection? Or would they withdraw and close the case? It may well be much better for you to continue working and cooperating with children services under a child in need plan.
I hope my advice helps. If you need further advice, please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Welcome to the Parents Forum. I am Suzie, FRG’s online adviser.
I can see what a worrying situation it is for you but also for children services. Neither you nor children services were present when the incident occurred, so it is difficult to know what is true. Children services will consider that on the face of it, your daughter might have been mistaken but equally she might have been correct in what she had seen. This might have been the start of a grooming process -getting your daughter use to this behaviour (so not recording and so no evidence) to see whether she told you about what she had seen. Due to shame there can be a culture of silence around sexual abuse. The fact your daughter was able to talk to you immediately indicates she has a very open and trusting relationship with you. Many children could not have spoken about this to their parent.
You should be commended for being so protective of your children. Due to your quick action in calling the police and kicking your partner out of the family home means children services view you as protective of your children. That you listened to and believed your daughter even if she is not so sure now.
Children services assessment concluded that there need only be a “child in need” plan. This means children services are only involved with your consent. This contrasts with child protection where a plan is compulsory.
Because there is a child in need plan, this means the case is not closed. Instead it has moved from the assessment team (who assessed your family) to a “family support” team or “long term” team. Work will now be done with the family around protecting your daughter but also your other children from “potential” abuse.
Once any work has been completed, consideration will be given to your partner moving back into the family home.
Have you had a child in need meeting yet? If so, what does the plan say? As well as your children being seen and spoken to alone by the social worker (often at school and at home) what other support is being considered? There is the NSPCC Mothers as Protectors course you could enquire about. You could also look at the Parents Protect website which has support around possible sexual abuse risks.
Does your partner attend the child in need meetings?
Does your daughter have an advocate? You could ask children services about local advocacy or contact NYAS who have a helpline for children and can advise about advocacy services. If your daughters voice is not being heard by the social worker, she could seek her own advice about this.
You ask that if the police are not worried why are children services still involved?
The role of the police is to investigate to see whether there is enough evidence to prosecute your partner for any criminal offence. To prove a case in a criminal court, they would have to show “beyond reasonable doubt” (so 80% he did it to 20% he did not do it). Without evidence from the phone or another witness or your partner admitting it, the chances of proving it may be too low. They would not want to put a child through a court case if there is a low chance of success. However, this does not mean he did not do it. Children services role is different-to protect children. Their balance of proof is much lower-on the balance of probabilities so 51% to 49%. So they may still be concerned about your partner.
You ask when will children services close their case?
I suggest you ask the social worker:
• how long he thinks he will be involved?
• What can you do as a mum to progress the case and work towards the case being closed?
• What needs to happen for the case to be closed?
• Is there a chance of your partner moving back into the family home?
As a child in need plan is with your consent this means you could ask that the case is closed anytime you want. However, there are risks. First, I suggest emailing the social worker and team manager and ask what would happen if you no longer consented to their involvement in your family? Would it go up to child protection? Or would they withdraw and close the case? It may well be much better for you to continue working and cooperating with children services under a child in need plan.
I hope my advice helps. If you need further advice, please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,
Suzie
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