Limited contact.

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Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 3:52 pm

Limited contact.

Post by TOVS » Wed Feb 05, 2020 11:37 am


My son is 19 and under Young Adults care. He moved into Shared Lives after leaving school last year.

Social Services are being completely intractable about the amount of contact I can have. I’ve been told, not offered, told, that I can see him for two hours a month with a pick up from his carers in a car park.

I did get to see him for half an hour, for the first time in three months, at his Day Centre, which is closer to me so very convenient, but now I’ve been told not to go there again. The visit, although short, was a great success, didn’t affect his, or the staff’s, day and they invited me back to call in whenever I wanted. But now the SS have stated, very bluntly, this is not to happen. I suspect that his carers are driving this, maybe they’ve had a bad experience in the past.

So, is this very limited access normal, is it acceptable, should I just be grateful for small mercies ? Social Services are not open to any flexibility what-so-ever. All I want is to pop up and see him every fortnight or so just for half an hour at his Day Centre but there is no way they will move on this having ‘offered’ two hours a month elsewhere. To be honest, I really don’t want to meet his carers, particularly under these circumstances. They’ve left a very sour taste in my mouth and I wouldn’t want an argument with them in a Starbucks car park in front of my son. Stressed !

Any advice / suggestions very welcome.

Thank you.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Limited contact.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Feb 17, 2020 3:07 pm


Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I see from your post that you are concerned about the amount of contact you are able to have with your son who is being looked after under Young Adults Care. There would have been an assessment of your son’s needs and his wishes and feelings taken into account.
I do not know your son’s specific needs but as he is now an adult, he should, if he is able to make his own decisions about how much he sees of you. Is your son able to do so?

It may be that you have been asked not to go to the centre because of the impact it has on your son after seeing you. Perhaps you could arrange a meeting with the social worker allocated to your son about your concerns relating to contact.

You may find in helpful to look at this website

A solicitor who advises on social care might be able to advice you regarding your son and the contact you can have with him. The issue may be that because your son is now an adult he will be treated as such and his contact may be on his terms and what he communicates to those caring for him. Alternatively, you may find it helpful to seek advice from the Citizens’ Advice Bureau.

Our service advises where children’s services have become involved with a family because of safeguarding or other concerns relating to the environment in which the child is living. Your son is an adult.

I hope this helps

Best wishes


Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 3:52 pm

Re: Limited contact.

Post by TOVS » Mon Feb 17, 2020 4:52 pm

Hi Susie,

Thank you for this. Appreciated.

It’s becoming clear that there must be something behind Social Services’ intransigence, but they won’t tell me what it is, not even replying to mails now. Hence I’m pretty confused and upset.

However, I’ll keep banging my head against them as I can’t let this go.

Many thanks again

Edited by Suzie to remove identifying information

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