New partner is an ex sex offender

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Joined: Wed Jul 24, 2019 7:27 pm

New partner is an ex sex offender

Post by Greys26 » Mon Jul 29, 2019 7:07 pm

Hi there im looking for some advice. Iv seen a gew post from similar situations that im in but i wasnt sure if the same would apply to me.

Please no judgments on why im still with him etc.

Basics. I have a 6 year old son with my ex partner. And i am now in a relationship with my new partner since december. Hes was around my son from may until middle of june.
Iv then found out about my ex partners past. So all contact has been cut as social work etc are involved.
My partner was convicted of a sexual assault on a minor when he was 15. It was is younger brother (he was mentally and physically abused by his step dad, brothers dad so snapped and hurt his brother to get back) he was never jailed and did all his meetings parole visits etc as required. Contact with his brother remained in place only it was supervised with other family present. He was deemed little to no risk and served 3yrs on the SOR.

My ex partner isnt happy for my son to be around my partner which i understand. However he been told he can keep my son full time if he feels hes in danger.
I have stated that my partner will never be around my son if thts the case. Hes also stated social work have told him that while my partners assessments etc are on going if i continue to see him social work may decide to place my son with him. Is this true?
Can i have both? Like live with my son and only see my partner when hes at school or with his dad etc?

I really just need advice on how things will proceed and if im likely to loose my son because of this.


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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: New partner is an ex sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Aug 21, 2019 3:55 pm

Dear Greys26

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Board.

You asked if a social worker can suggest that your son stay with his father on a permanent basis and the answer is ‘yes’ they can suggest this but the matter may need to be settled in court through a Child Arrangements Order. You of course will be a part of decisions that may be made about your child.

You have said that you are a protective factor because when you discovered your partner’s history you eliminated all contact between your son and him immediately. This is verified because he is with his father and social workers may be monitoring the situation.

You asked whether you could have both (your son and partner) and the likely answer is that it may not be possible (at this time) because it will be hard to monitor or to externally guarantee that your son and your partner are not having contact.

There may be questions for your partner to answer about why he did not tell you about his past early on in your ‘getting to know each other’ phase in December 2018, now you both speak about a future – marriage – children – living as a family etc, it is likely that probing questions will be posed to him during assessment. If after assessment your partner is deemed low risk to your son and you continue to safeguard him, then the future that you describe may be possible. In the meantime it may be useful for you to have a look at these links, Women as Protectors and Parents Protect.

I hope this information helps.

Best wishes


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