Advice please

[santa fe]

HI My Ex has pioned mt boys agaist me and they dont want to know me but the eldest was coming to the house on the odd weekend and the relationship was growing and we were getting on well but it suddenly stopped.
This was sometime ago and he wont answer his phone to me or anything else and according to the SW she claims he told her that he was just using me, that was two weeks ago at an assement.

Right now i have had enough of everything
The eldest not answering his phone or anything.
So i have thought of telling him either he starts answering his phone or i will block it just remeber who pays the bill.
I bought him the phone because he lost his other one and she wont get him one
Advice please i am desperate

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Sante Fe

Welcome back to the board.

I wondered if you could remind us what your eldest circumstances are, whether he is an older teenage in long term foster care and on a care order or in section 20 accommodation?

What type of assessment are they doing at the current time?

Sorry but it has been quite a while, and the basic background would be useful information before advising you further.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[santa fe]

Hi Sante Fe



I wondered if you could remind us what your eldest circumstances are, whether he is an older teenage in long term foster care and on a care order or in section 20 accommodation?

He is 17 and lives with mum the judge told /demanded the SW ask R his opions on everything
What type of assessment are they doing at the current time?

They where doing the parent assessments if this is what you mean mine has been very -ve due to the SW and me not seeing eye to eye and calling her a lier = other things which i intend proving in court.

Mums was +ve so we are going to fight and get the children back with her. and go from ther once the sw has gone

R the 17 year old was coming and going from my house and stayed a few times we were getting on fine doing things together but suddenly stopped and now wont even answer his phone to me

#Hope this helps
Sorry but it has been quite a while, and the basic background would be useful information before advising you further.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi Santa Fe

Thanks for clarifying things.

It’s a very difficult situation. Obviously, at 17, your son is almost an adult so it’s very difficult for anyone to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do.

Unfortunately, teenagers can be very self absorbed and unreasonable in their behaviour. The thing to hold on to is that it won’t always be this way. As your son grows and matures, his behaviour will change and, hopefully, your relationship will improve again.

My advice would be to keep trying with your son. Continue to call and to send texts. Make sure your son knows that, although you don’t like the way he is behaving at the moment, you want a relationship with him and you will always be there for him when he is ready to be in touch.

Not sure if that helps at all Santa Fe? I would be interested to hear what other parents think, particularly those who have (or have had!) teenagers themselves.

Best Wishes

Suzie
FRG Adviser