Can they use my past against me ?

[Aa385]

I was involved in an escort services and one of the guys attacked me with a hammer and later left with all the money I had after begging him to spare my life. My son was in the living room while it happened. So I rang my aunts who later called the ambulance and the police for me, after removing my son from the house. So we were taking to the hospital and the doctor rang SS, but my son was still at my aunt’s. So after a week or so I relocated from the city to another city to start afresh, I know what I did was wrong and I never would never have been able to forgive myself if anything had happened to my child. So a month later SS and HV came to visit me where I moved to, they said my previous SS had rang them to explain what had happened, they said they’d need to get the police report and SS came a week later with the police to have my son removed from me with a court order. I’ve been working with them and done what they’ve asked me to do. I signed the parenting assessment form over 2 months ago and still waiting for them to get it started but waiting for them to start the parenting assessment is really taking too long and I’m not sure what the outcome will be. My contact has just been increased as SS told the panels that I’ve been co-operating with them, I’ve attended parenting classes and did eventually everything they asked of me.


My escort services was a one-off thing because I needed the money to sort out my visa application as my visa expired years back but my son is British. I only did escort services in the past but I stopped when I got pregnant, so I had just gone back and then I was attacked 2 days later.


Now my social worker has recommended a compulsory supervision Order for him while he stays with his carer pending my parenting assessment. She says I can call for a hearing and discharge the order after my parenting assessment is completed.
How soon could the parenting assessment take place and what could be the outcome ?
What happens if I get a negative report, will my immigration status be a barrier for me to have a negative report, what are the the questions they are likely to ask and what am I supposed to do at the moment ?
I’ve been waiting for the last 2 months to have the parenting assessment done after signing the consent form but no calls whatsoever. My son was taking in June and it’s getting close to Christmas and I’m just worried that I might not have him for Christmas. His carer told me that he’d be with them at Christmas since they haven’t started the assessment yet and they haven’t had the meeting yet too, she said they’ve started buying him his Christmas present.
I’m just scared that they might used my past against me during my parenting assessment and I might get a negative parenting assessment. The social worker report is mainly about my past, working as an escort and all.

[Miserylovescompany2]

Hello

Can I ask if you have a solicitor or an advocate? I think you could most definitely use both. The court process should take 26 weeks however this is never a certainty. Have you had any support from Women's Aid? I am not sure about your right to Legal Aid because of your immigration status but their should be a way you can access legal representation. I am not sure if this is the process you are going through at present if I am honest. I am assuming CS gained an emergency court order. Do you know if you signed a section 20?

I know that you mentioned your Aunt - was she assessed by Children's services (new name for SS) to see if she could care for your son? Also what about family from your sons fathers side could they help?

With regard to the parenting assessment this is usually undertaken by CS. Has their been mention of any other pending assessments for example from a psychologist?

I am sure when Suzie comes on later who is the FRG advisor she will be able to appropriately signpost you to any organisations and agencies that could help. She will be able to add links etc.

[Aa385]

I would answer your questions accordingly...

Yes I do have a solicitor and I’m also entitled to lega aid.

I’ve been to legal aid but they said they only deal with domestic abuse as in my case it wasn’t.

No I did not sign a section 20, my son was removed by the emergency court order.

My aunt was assessed but she wasn’t fully assessed, they only did the police checks and some other checks, but a family plan was drawn up for her to look after my son by the FGC but my social work said they’ll have to do the parenting assessment on me first before finishing the assessment on my aunt, reasons because my aunt lives in a different city, they said if my aunt was to look after my son it means they’d have to transfer my case to where my aunt lives and then love me to live with her but at the moment they need to do the parenting assessment on me first to determine whether my son is definitely going to live with my aunt or coming back home with me, they said 6 weeks during the assessment they’d know for sure whether to go visit my aunt to complete the kinship assessment or not, they said it’s no point taking my son to live with my aunt and then bringing him back home to me if there’s a possibility that the assessment would be positive.

I’m a single mum as my son’s dad has no involvement in his life whatsoever.

They only said I’ll be doing parenting assessment, they didn’t mention psychology assessment or any other assessment.

I’m just worried that my past may be used against me, my son was taken on the 6th of June and my social worker is recommending a compulsory supervision Order pending my assessment. So it’s definitely going to be more than the 26 weeks time frame.


I just need to know what line of questioning they’d be asking me during the parenting assessment and what the parenting assessment contains.

[Aa385]

My social worker said she will be recommending a compulsory supervision Order pending my assessment, while my son remains with his Forster carer.

[Miserylovescompany2]

Ok - from my understanding the questions in the assessment are based on what CS know so far. Basically what you have told them regarding your history. No-one can tell you exactly what your questions will be. Mine were a mixture of past relationships, family dynamics and what it was like for me growing up as a child. I was also asked questions around my children's complex needs plus various other questions relating to parenting. My situation was and is very different to your own therefore so will be some of the questions. The psycologists assessment was even more intrusive than the SW assessment as it also used my medical records. What is your solicitor telling you? Because they should be explaining this step by step. As should CS if I am honest.

Can I ask if CS have attempted to make contact with the father of your son? Is he on the birth certificate - because if so he will hold joint parental responsibility with you. It makes no difference if he has played an active role or not. The father of my older two had not played any kind of active role for the majority of their lives but he was still part of the proceedings. He still had a say. I am aware of cases when the father is not contacted. I believe this would be at the discretion of the court and also CS.

Have you met your sons appointed Guardian yet? Because they play a very important role in the proceedings. They recommend what happens long term. In my sons case the Guardian recommended foster care until my son was 18. I am assuming this has happened as their has been a recommendation of a compulsory supervision order. Have you seen all of the Guardians report?

I am very surprised that Women's aid did not signpost you to the appropriate agency.

Have you been provided with a copy of paperwork CS and police submitted to the court in the first instance. Because a lot of information that is very relevant to you is in this. Your solicitor should have sat down with you and gone through this thoroughly.

You should be told time frames especially what stage the proceedings are at.

[Aa385]

My Solicitor’s is asking them to start the parenting assessment or they do a kinship assessment for my son to live with my aunt if the parenting assessment is taking much time.

At the meantime they haven’t contacted the father of my son yet, at least not to my knowledge and yes his name is on the birth certificate but he was interested in him whatsoever.

My son wasn’t appointed a safe guardian as the panels said he has enough people looking after his interest at the moment.

Yea the police submitted their report alongside with social worker which most of the allegations weren’t true so the grounds were sent to cult for proof and some of the grounds were established and we came back to the children’s hearing which is where we are at the moment.

A compulsory supervision order was recommended pending a parenting assessment which the social worker said I could discharge if it comes out positive, I think the recommendation of a supervision order was made because the parenting assessment was taking time to start. But it hasn’t made yet, only seen the social work report a day before the hearing so the panels hadn’t received it, a decision will be made at the hearing.

May I ask why you were asked to do a psychological assessment, did you have mental health or did your medical report have history that prompted them to do a psychological assessment on you ?

And also why was the recommendation for your son was to be in Forster care ? Did you not have a positive parenting assessment ?

Why did you think they’d have a psychological assessment on me ?

[Aa385]

Are your other children in care too ?

[Miserylovescompany2]

My own parenting assessment was mixed with both positive and negatives. The negatives were in relation to my own childhood. The psychological assessment was most likely because I have suffered various different trauma throughout my life including but not limited to rape. My case was a complex one as it was only one of my children that CS were seeking to remove. My child was removed under the category of beyond parental control.

I do have a history of depression however the information that came from my GP stated my MH and use of antidepressants was indicative and correlated with the situations at the time. Therefore there was no underlying mental health condition.

So I am assuming that the phycological assessment was to look at my history more thoroughly. Maybe it was because all the trauma was flagged up? No-one ever explained why it was being done. Nor did I ask if I am being honest as I struggled to process everything that was happening. Neither my son nor myself were provided with advocacy throughout the proceedings. I had no reasonable adjustments nor did he.

Near the end of my sons proceedings I changed my position as I was told verbally that my other two children would be added to proceedings. I was never informed in writing nor was my solicitor informed. I changed my position through fear of losing all three of my children. So basically I agreed that I could no longer meet my sons complex needs. He has been in the care system for over a year now. He has a diagnosis of autism. I am still fighting to make sure CS meet his needs. Because at this present time they are not.

My own situation is further complicated because of my own currently undiagnosed needs. I believe that I am also on the autistic spectrum alongside having dyspraxia. Which makes both communicating verbally and social situations very difficult for me.

I do hope Suzie will give further advice on the Guardian because from my understanding this person plays a very important role and I am not sure why your son has not got one?

[Miserylovescompany2]

No. My other children live at home with me. There is no current involvement with CS for them. All three children were added to a CPP (child protection plan) in the latter part of 2016. This was because of increased violence between both my sons (both have autism) and because their younger sibling was still a baby.

The CPP ended in May 2018 with no further involvement.

[Aa385]

Ok thank you for your replies, I kind of lost hope when you said your son’s recommendation was for him to remain in care.

And I wasn’t raped, it’s just the guy came and started hitting my head with a hammer, we later found out in court that he was under the influence of alcohol and some substance, he’s been sentenced to 5 years in prison.

I don’t have any history of MH whatsoever, so my medical history would only flag up the common medical problem every lady has.

Plus I don’t understand why a decision is being made if they haven’t done the parenting assessment yet, to my understanding a decision can only be made after a parenting assessment as that is the only barrier standing against my son coming home to me according to my social worker.

Is there anything like a mixture of parenting assessment and what happens if that happens to be the case ? As I haven’t seen nor heard anyone say they’ve passed heir parenting assessment.

The fear of not knowing what happens next is killing me.