Please can you give me a heads up what might happen next.

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Scared mummy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2018 5:17 pm

Please can you give me a heads up what might happen next.

Post by Scared mummy » Thu Aug 23, 2018 8:40 am

Hello I'm new to this group. My situation is a very complicated. I could do with having some advice on what could happen next.
Please be patient with me as this is not easy for me talking about this,
At the end of last October 2017, our house was searched and devices were taken,my husband was arrested Infront of our 3 children,(at the time 15,12 & 5). My husband's computer had been found to have at the time a couple of IIOC (indecent images of children). We both to this day know that it was not him but have an extreme sense it was my step son, I had a feeling that it might have been him, I caught him touching my 15 year old daughter in an un brotherly way which I felt was wrong and told him to leave our home to which he had been staying with us for many years. It came to light more about the way he was touching my daughter when my husband's lawyer spoke to her, step son not been allowed access, not allowed to phone or have any contact with our other children. My husband was charged and bailed to me and our family home, the court felt he wasn't a risk to our children, we have now seen the pf report and to our shock there was over 300,000 IIOC ranging from all 3 categories, (charges only possession).
The social services closed the case saying that I was protecting the children well and felt my husband was safe around our children.
Our lawyer is going to ask for an extension to summon my step son if they can find him. As our lawyer fells that he needs to be asked. Lawyer feels that step son could have done it. Especially with our daughter speaking up,
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and if so what was your outcome. Both myself and my husband are extremely scared at what might happen, I am and will always be sticking by my husband we have been together for almost 19 years. Our 3 children love,adore him and he would give his life to our children, he would do everything in his power to protect and defend them. This will kill us both if he is found guilty, I am also my husband full time carer have been since he got a major spinal operation done 4 years ago.
Any advice would be thankful.

Scared mummy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2018 5:17 pm

Re: Please can you give me a heads up what might happen next.

Post by Scared mummy » Thu Aug 23, 2018 8:46 am

[quote="Scared mummy"]Hello I'm new to this group. My situation is a very complicated. I could do with having some advice on what could happen next.
Please be patient with me as this is not easy for me talking about this,
At the end of last October 2017, our house was searched and devices were taken,my husband was arrested Infront of our 3 children,(at the time 15,12 & 5). My husband's computer had been found to have at the time a couple of IIOC (indecent images of children). We both to this day know that it was not him but have an extreme sense it was my step son, I had a feeling that it might have been him, I caught him touching my 15 year old daughter in an un brotherly way which I felt was wrong and told him to leave our home to which he had been staying with us for many years. It came to light more about the way he was touching my daughter when my husband's lawyer spoke to her, step son not been allowed access, not allowed to phone or have any contact with our other children. My husband was charged and bailed to me and our family home, the court felt he wasn't a risk to our children, we have now seen the pf report and to our shock there was over 300,000 IIOC ranging from all 3 categories, (charges only possession).
The social services closed the case saying that I was protecting the children well and felt my husband was safe around our children.
Our lawyer is going to ask for an extension to summon my step son if they can find him. As our lawyer fells that he needs to be asked. Lawyer feels that step son could have done it. Especially with our daughter speaking up,
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and if so what was your outcome. Both myself and my husband are extremely scared at what might happen, I am and will always be sticking by my husband we have been together for almost 19 years. Our 3 children love,adore him and he would give his life to our children, he would do everything in his power to protect and defend them. This will kill us both if he is found guilty, I am also my husband full time carer have been since he got a major spinal operation done 4 years ago.
Any advice would be thankful. If you need any more information about this please don't hesitate to ask. I know what I have written might seem confused so is myself and my husband.

Scared mummy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2018 5:17 pm

Re: Please can you give me a heads up what might happen next.

Post by Scared mummy » Thu Aug 23, 2018 2:35 pm

I'm looking to see if anyone has been in a similar situation as me and what their outcome was. Plus any other information what would happen if my husband was found guilty. Sorry I should have wrote this in my original post.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2144
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Please can you give me a heads up what might happen next.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Sep 03, 2018 4:36 pm

Dear Scared mummy

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post.

You and your family are in a difficult situation following your husband being charged with downloading images of children. Both you and your husband believe that your stepson was responsible for these images but your husband has been charged as, I suppose, the images were found on his computer and a very significant amount of images from the figure in your post.

The police made a referral to children’s services (new name for social services) and, having carried out an assessment, closed their file as they did not consider your children to be at risk even with their father back in the family home.
I am not able to comment to your husband’s criminal case but from what you say in your post his solicitor appears to pursuing his defence to the charges.

There are a significant number of images and it may be that if your husband is found guilty he might receive a custodial sentence but his criminal solicitor is best place to advise on this.

It is not clear from your post whether children’s services was aware of the full extent of the images of children on your husband’s computer when it was decided that the case should be closed. Also, if he is found guilty and convicted of the charges they may review their position. Perhaps you could ask the social worker who was involved with your case if their views will change if there is a conviction. You can explain that you want to be sure that you are doing the right things for your children and to know their expectations.

Our advice sheets Family support and Child protection procedures explains the kind of assessments children's services could carry out if they decided to reopen the case if your husband is convicted.

A guilty decision against your husband will, am sure, be devastating to you both and to your family as a whole. The court is likely, for sentencing take account of all information provided and may also ask for a pre-sentence report.

You may find it helpful to speak with Lucy Faithfull Foundation on 0808 100 0900. This organisation advises families and perpetrators in sexual offences situations.

Should you wish to discuss your situation further with an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

Scared mummy
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2018 5:17 pm

Re: Please can you give me a heads up what might happen next.

Post by Scared mummy » Mon Sep 03, 2018 5:56 pm

Thank you Suzie.
We now have a date for the trial. My husband's lawyer got an extension added as we are getting an external investigation into our external as the images found pre date when we got the external.
Plus we are trying to get my step son cited to explain his actions.
We have not heard from children services since April, so I'm unsure if they are aware. The courts stated again last week at his diet trial that they feel he is still safe. We even had our current/new computer checked that was bought new for our Christmas and it has been totally clean, not even any evidence of looking or searching for porn (adult).
We are trying to deal with every day life in trying to keep our children to a normal life. Even know hearing of many more people who have been charged we (me and my husband) can't believe that people enjoy veiwing or browsing for those images. We were both almost in tears last week at court hearing other adults pleading guilty and hearing the contents of their charges. We both been having nightmares relating to those charges what we heard.
We both are aware what could happen, even though we know that he never done this. And we both are in agreement that we will work with anyone the courts, social services want us to work with.

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