Problem with social services

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loving mum
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2018 4:20 pm

Problem with social services

Post by loving mum » Sat Jul 28, 2018 11:53 pm

Married to my husband 9 years ago. who is abusive man. I have two children from him . Now 8 and 6. Last July he hit me in-front of children and I ended up in hospital. Social services were involved. He always use to threaten me that he will snatch children from me as I am pakistani national and he and children are British. I have been their primary care taker since birth. in December 2017 I decided to move out and leave him. but local council didn't wanted to help according to I am not homeless as I have share in my husband's property. Cant go to refuge as I started working part time. The only option left was to go for occupation order, I applied for occupation order on 6 April. On the same night I had a verbal argument with him. I said that I will stay with my friend for tonight as I have been continuously warned by social services that if any more violence happened they will take kids from me. Came back next day only to find that locks are changed. He did not open the door and said to me that he will not let me see the kids. I was in a utter shock. Contacted social services. social worker agreed to see me and him. He produced a recording in which I was telling my children off from a couple of days back. He went to court got an occupation order against me as social worker backed him up that I am emotionally abusing my children. He also got interim custody of children. I was thrown on streets. He has all his family here while all my family is in Pakistan. I was given 3 days a week supervised by father contact. Initially my daughter was happy to see me but after few meetings she refused to see me. So contact was suspended. Later court order a contact center supervised contact. Court asked them to prepare Section 7 report. During contact center contact my daughter is happy with me infant she doesn't want to go with daddy and she has numerous times said she wants to go with mum. I produced 2 medical reports, one from hospital and one from Gp of his physical and sexual violence. pictures and police report is also given to social services. He has not let me see my family from past 5 years. Never financially supported me to have British nationality as he was using this and children as leverage on me. Social services are now allowing me to have over night unsupervised stay but promoting residency with father. Father cannot cook, clean, wash, help children in their homework or do any other chore. my children are going from one of Dad's family members to another for their day to day needs. Social services are still allowing residency to father and giving contact to me. Social services are of the view, he is never violent towards children and there will be no domestic abuse as parents are seprated. It is alright if his family is helping him, most important thing is their needs are met. I have pointed out that children are sitting in Dad's car without car or booster seats from past 3 months. But social worker has said, it is not a big deal. while in Dad's care, my son had fracture, they ignored it and said it is just an accident. He said in school that his aunt hit him. social worker took two weeks to go and investigate. After that she put in her report that "she hit him jokingly". She goes to any extent to character assassinate me. Because back in april 2018, I complaind to her manager of her attitude and also wrote to MP. So basically because of her grudge, my children has to suffer. I regret the day when I decided to take help from social survives. My ex also had another 19 years old son whom he has not seen for 13 years, social worker is also aware of that but she says that he at least love these children. I was physically, emotionally and sexually abused but at least had my children with me. Will the court consider all these things or just plainly follows section 7 report?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2212
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Problem with social services

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Aug 01, 2018 3:54 pm

Dear loving mum

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board.

I see from your post that you are having a very difficult time being separated from your children and the in respect of the abuse you suffered whilst living with your husband.

Children’s services (new name for social services) are not actively involved because of safeguarding concerns as the children are currently with their father. It must be very upsetting to be separated from your children in this way and you do not believe your concerns about your husband’s inability to care for the children are not being taken into account by children’s services. You could make a complaint about how the case in respect of safeguarding your children has been handled if you think children’s services have not acted fairly or appropriately. Our advice sheet Challenging decisions and making complaints explains the procedures for making a complaint.

You are currently in private law children proceedings which does not fall within the remit of this service. We advise where children’s services are involved and working with a family or family members are concerned about children going into the care system. The involvement that children’s services has in your case relates to the court’s direction for a section 7 report.

The court will make a final decision about where the children will live after considering all the evidence and on the basis of the children’s welfare.

No mention is made in your post whether you have legal representation or not. If you do not have a solicitor then you may wish to contact this service for advice Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480. If you do have a solicitor then you should make sure he or she has all the information about your life with your husband and the abuse and controlling behaviour that you had to live with.

Rights of Women may also be able to assist you, their telephone number is 020 7251 6577.

Hope you will find this helpful.

Best wishes


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