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Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Thu Dec 19, 2019 10:35 pm
by AANCM
Hi Hun. I’ve received another mail from you but unsure if you have received one back. If not and you would like to we could speak through email or snap chat if easier?

Thank you for all your advice. I don’t know what to do for the best😭

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Sat Dec 21, 2019 9:53 pm
by AANCM
I still can’t reply. Check you settings have you switch private messages off? Xx

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 2:18 pm
by AANCM
Any news on your situation perfectsafedad?

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Mon Jan 13, 2020 5:15 pm
by Paranoid1
Firstly hi all.
New to here but I'm in exactly the same position as all in this thread.
9yrs ago I was arrested for this thread. I was on bail for 2 yrs and sentenced to a prison term. Been out for 7yrs and not put a foot wrong. On the register for 10yrs along with a sopo. So I've got 3 yrs left. Ive kept myself busy all that time and met a lovely woman 2 1/2 yrs ago who I worked with. We had been in a relationship for nearly 12 months when one night we'd had a drink and a silly argument. She wanted me to leave but ia didn't so she called the police. Now this is my down fall, because I didn't notify that I was occasionally staying at my partners who had a child under 18 I was charged for failing to notify and breach of requirements went court and was fined. Now CS got involved, they went to her house and interviewed her, on leaving they said that no further action would be the outcome but said they would speak to me too, they called me and at the end of the call I said 3 times, do you have any concerns and he said no each time, we both thought that was the end of it. Mid Dec CS called my partner, and said it's going to a section 47? And that all of her family inc the child's dad will find out my past. She broke down and that was the last time I saw her, she blocked me on all things messenergy whatsapp. . You name it she's blocked me. I've spoken to the police for an update from CS but they haven't call my manager as of yet. Now my issue is this, we had prior to CS intervention our own safe guarding in place regarding my past that worked brilliantly, what i did all them years ago I still regret to this day. my manger asked how I was coping from the split, my words were "I'm frustrated, frustrated due to how much time has elapsed and that I've not stepped out of line since arrest or coming out of prison, yet I'm being treated as if this happened yesterday with nothing being taken into account such as any reports or good character words being taken into account by CS".
CS are in my opinion full of misleading liars. They put trust into both her and myself by saying everything is fine, they even got her to sign a safeguard form and said that is it. They say the same to me and now since my partner has had this meeting I've no contact and CS are still to call me to let me know what's what. As far as I am aware, when my SOR Notification comes to an end then my life returns to normal. So the rest of this yr will be s#!t as I can only suspect that the thumb screws will be tightened for no reason, so yes why should I carry on in life is a question I've asked myself a few times recently. But life goes on regardless. If it wasn't for protective factors that I have, I due to how this has now ended, would have been another statistic.

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:36 pm
by AANCM
I took the plunge and rang my old social worker for advice with regards to my agreement, surprise surprise. I haven’t heard anything back from her in two days. So I’m still none of the wiser. She read my text but didn’t ring or message back. How rude!! I couldn’t imagine how she would have reacted if that was the other way around when I’m was under them 😡 I have also got back in contact with my solicitor and she has told me to just carry on if I’ve heard nothing back by the end of the week as she doesn’t seem to think there’s much they can do with a NO further action 🤷🏻‍♀️ Help????!!!!!

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:39 pm
by AANCM
Paranoid1, wasn’t it part of your conditions not be around a child under the age of 18 anyway?? How are you doing? X

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Wed Jan 15, 2020 7:40 pm
by AANCM
Unsupervised I meant xx

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Thu Jan 16, 2020 7:49 am
by Paranoid1
Hi.
I left prison with unconditional release, the terms I had were notification requirements that requires me to notify if I stay at a property where a minor resides and if I stay there for more than 12 hrs. So yes it was a breach that I failed to comply with. Believe it or not, my partner was ex CS. She knew my conviction from the day we met, she persude the relationship when we started it and knew what the process entails from a professional point. But it's wrong how after 7yrs that CS don't look any further than a conviction, I'm according to my manager a lower than low risk, and again the safeguarding that we both had in place, was never alone with her at any point was the main part but CS don't seem to want someone to move on with their lives, and only strive to end relationships or make it extremely difficult, I am more than willing to work with them in any concept but the 15 Dec was the last time I heard anything.

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2020 12:27 pm
by AANCM
Just an update on my situation with regards to my ex that had a NFA with regards to police investigation. I have spoke with children services and I able to see him if I wish without the children and they will be coming on a voluntary basis to risk assess the ex. I have hope 🤞🏼 Xxx

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Posted: Thu Jan 23, 2020 3:47 pm
by Suzie, FRG Adviser
Paranoid1 wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 5:15 pm
Firstly hi all.
New to here but I'm in exactly the same position as all in this thread.
9yrs ago I was arrested for this thread. I was on bail for 2 yrs and sentenced to a prison term. Been out for 7yrs and not put a foot wrong. On the register for 10yrs along with a sopo. So I've got 3 yrs left. Ive kept myself busy all that time and met a lovely woman 2 1/2 yrs ago who I worked with. We had been in a relationship for nearly 12 months when one night we'd had a drink and a silly argument. She wanted me to leave but ia didn't so she called the police. Now this is my down fall, because I didn't notify that I was occasionally staying at my partners who had a child under 18 I was charged for failing to notify and breach of requirements went court and was fined. Now CS got involved, they went to her house and interviewed her, on leaving they said that no further action would be the outcome but said they would speak to me too, they called me and at the end of the call I said 3 times, do you have any concerns and he said no each time, we both thought that was the end of it. Mid Dec CS called my partner, and said it's going to a section 47? And that all of her family inc the child's dad will find out my past. She broke down and that was the last time I saw her, she blocked me on all things messenergy whatsapp. . You name it she's blocked me. I've spoken to the police for an update from CS but they haven't call my manager as of yet. Now my issue is this, we had prior to CS intervention our own safe guarding in place regarding my past that worked brilliantly, what i did all them years ago I still regret to this day. my manger asked how I was coping from the split, my words were "I'm frustrated, frustrated due to how much time has elapsed and that I've not stepped out of line since arrest or coming out of prison, yet I'm being treated as if this happened yesterday with nothing being taken into account such as any reports or good character words being taken into account by CS".
CS are in my opinion full of misleading liars. They put trust into both her and myself by saying everything is fine, they even got her to sign a safeguard form and said that is it. They say the same to me and now since my partner has had this meeting I've no contact and CS are still to call me to let me know what's what. As far as I am aware, when my SOR Notification comes to an end then my life returns to normal. So the rest of this yr will be s#!t as I can only suspect that the thumb screws will be tightened for no reason, so yes why should I carry on in life is a question I've asked myself a few times recently. But life goes on regardless. If it wasn't for protective factors that I have, I due to how this has now ended, would have been another statistic.

Hi.
I left prison with unconditional release, the terms I had were notification requirements that requires me to notify if I stay at a property where a minor resides and if I stay there for more than 12 hrs. So yes it was a breach that I failed to comply with. Believe it or not, my partner was ex CS. She knew my conviction from the day we met, she persude the relationship when we started it and knew what the process entails from a professional point. But it's wrong how after 7yrs that CS don't look any further than a conviction, I'm according to my manager a lower than low risk, and again the safeguarding that we both had in place, was never alone with her at any point was the main part but CS don't seem to want someone to move on with their lives, and only strive to end relationships or make it extremely difficult, I am more than willing to work with them in any concept but the 15 Dec was the last time I heard anything.

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Dear Paranoid1

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents discussion board and thank you for your two posts. My name is Suzie, FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry we were not able to respond to you sooner.

You describe how children’s services became involved with your ex-partner’s child/ren when police were called to a domestic violence incident (this will normally result in a referral to children’s services to assess the welfare of the child/ren involved) and this flagged up that you had breached the terms of the Sexual Offences Prevention Order that you come under. You were charged, went to court and were fined because of this. Since then, children’s services have begun a child protection investigation. Your ex-partner has decided to end her relationship with you, which must be very distressing for you.

You describe how you were initially informed by children’s services that there were no concerns and are unhappy that when this changed you were not notified and that the safety plan you and your ex-partner had put in place yourselves was not seen as sufficient.

As you know, children’s services is the council department legally responsible for supporting and protecting vulnerable children. So their primary focus is the child/ren involved and it is part of their role to make an assessment when there is a potential risk or where they are concerned that arrangements put in place by a parent and her partner are inadequate. Their focus will be on making sure that the child/ren’s parent is being protective.

As you don’t have parental responsibility for the child/ren and you are no longer in a relationship with their mother, children’s services cannot share information with you about the child/ren’s situation. You can, of course, contact them directly to let them know that you are dissatisfied with their response to you – you can put this in writing to the social worker/their manager/complaints if you wish. Here is some information about complaints .

It is very positive that you would be willing to work with children’s services, however, if the relationship has now come to an end this would not happen.

You may be interested in The Information Hub, Unlock and the Lucy Faithful Foundation who offer advice and support in relation to convictions and their impact and to sexual offenders.

This has been a difficult time for you. It is good to hear that you have protective factors in place which help you; if you do need to talk to someone about your feelings you could also contact your GP or talk to the Samaritans, or there may be local services in your area that you can access.

I hope this is helpful.

With best wishes.

Suzie