My husband downloaded indecent images

Seadog01274
Posts: 64
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by Seadog01274 » Mon Jul 16, 2018 8:28 am

My husband isn’t doing well. He’s got a new job and moved back in with his Mum. We just bought our first home together and only got married 5 weeks ago so he feels he’s lost everything. Him not being able to see my daughter is crippling him. He loves the bones of her. When he hears how she’s coping it breaks him. He’s coming up this weekend so we can talk more, it isn’t the same over text and phone calls xxx

ScaredToBear
Posts: 12
Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2018 1:39 am

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by ScaredToBear » Wed Aug 08, 2018 2:25 am

Most sex offenders are mentally crippled and will never look at a indecent image again. For most, it is a mental illness. Looking at the images, they know it's wrong and hate themselves for it but are too weak to fight it. On the internet, they can be monsters, but in real life they'll never look at a child in a sexual way. I'm due to be charged on Friday for indecent images from 2014. You'll probably think I'm a monster, but I'm actually a good person. There's a difference between a criminal and bad person. Criminals can choose wether or not they are a good criminal or bad criminal. Words will never describe how sorry I am and how disgusted I am. I've lost half my family, my son, girlfriend and dog. I've never felt so alone in my entire life. My mental state has exploded. I'm constantly crying, constantly really anxious and living in complete fear with sleepless nights. Few weeks ago my home had so much life in it and now I have nothing but baby things, ex's things and memory triggers everywhere. My ex didn't take any belongings because social services just put her on a train far away from me to live with her dad. I was a great dad, went to every single pregnancy appointment, watched him come into the world and even cut his cord. 6 months ago I went through the most amazing thing ever (birth), and now I'm branded a outcost. I live with my mum and she is the only 1 I have left. I see my self as the product of my past. I was locked in a room with a pedo at 5 and molested by my brother when I was a teen. So yeah I'm mentally broken. Before my internet offending, I asked for mental help a lot. I was on the waiting list for 3 years. I'm in contact with stopitnow and have a mental counsellor. I don't use social networks and I don't look at porn. I quit drinking because all my mess was caused by drinking. Recently I hit rock bottom though because I am struggling. Today I stopped my self getting beer and will not be touching it again. My mum is emotionally drained from all this and it breaks my heart knowing she's watching her son basically kill him self. I won't be killing my self but I do always wonder what I'm fighting for? I have NOTHING to gain. All I have is my police interview where I have to tell them I was a monster. Oh and my trial for other offenses. I fear prison more than anything and wouldn't cope a single day. I suffer with server social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder. I struggle to use the bathroom just when family are here.. Imagine me in prison? I wouldn't cope. I am sorry for my actions and I have well and truly been punished. My heart is in pieces knowing I'll never see my son again because why should my ex and him put up with his? I did this. I waited 10 years to have my own baby and lose it within 7 months. I made this post because I don't want people to think we are all bad people. If anything, I'm a pathetic stupid idiot. I've always been protective over kids, supported others and drained my own happiness for others. I bring my self last in life and I love supporting people and seeing others smile. I have been using a mental health forum to support people that are struggling too. If you feel your loved one is a good person, you should at least hear him out. Chances are, he's gone from a man to a complete crying machine and shares a bed with a teddy. He most probably would of seeked help for his addiction if the country didn't witch hunt us the second they find out. Also, public humiliation by the courts I think is unacceptable and disgusting. Not because of the offender, but the families that didn't do anything wrong. The justice system is broken. The newspapers are bigger criminals than the offenders due to the unfairness they bring to the innocent families. That is all and thanks for reading if you bothered to.
Last edited by ScaredToBear on Wed Aug 08, 2018 11:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sunnydaydream
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:55 pm

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by Sunnydaydream » Wed Aug 08, 2018 10:13 pm

Your post made me cry.
I don’t know what to say I honestly don’t but I am sat here crying.

AANCM
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2018 3:09 am

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by AANCM » Tue Jan 01, 2019 5:06 pm

I feel for you all so much because I have gone through exactly the same thing recently which has resulted in myself having my children removed from my care and placed on a child protection plan. Any update on the man that was being sentenced Friday that have commented on here?

Sunnydaydream
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:55 pm

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by Sunnydaydream » Tue Jan 01, 2019 9:39 pm

Hi AANCM
Sorry No idea what happened the the other person.
How far along are you since it all started? It’s absolute hell isnt it!!
Hope you are ok x

Sunnydaydream
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:55 pm

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by Sunnydaydream » Tue Jan 01, 2019 9:59 pm

I hope everyone who has commented can read this.
It’s a new year,
It might not feel very much but it’s closer to us all getting our lives back.
I’d love to know how you ALL are getting on, know that you are all safe.
Please do let me know.
Take care

S x

Msmd1990
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2018 10:52 am

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by Msmd1990 » Thu Jan 03, 2019 12:46 am

Hi everyone I’m currently going through similar. Just wondering what happened with u all and social services? My 4 are child in need at the moment haven’t actually had any meeting or anything yet though just an assessment. Can anyone tell me what to expect at the first meeting? What will make them decide weather they need to be put into child protection? Thanks

Sunnydaydream
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2018 8:55 pm

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by Sunnydaydream » Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:06 am

Hi Msmd 1990
I’m so sorry you are also going through this. May I ask if you are the parent that is with the children or the one who has been arrested?
I don’t know how long it all takes but as far as I was concerned my child was “a child in need” and as far as I think it depends on how busy SS are.
They were quick with us I believe because I moved away from the area, I was referred then to one in my new area but they were so busy and when they had time to read my report they signed us off but then I mentioned that I’d like my husband to have unsupervised access we had to get assessed again.
Obviously he wasn’t granted unsupervised access even though all the other parties involved said he can.
I think if you’ve had an assessment and they are classed as children in need then they don’t believe they will rush. If they were concerned about the children’s welfare I think they’d be classed as something higher.
How are you doing?

S x

Msmd1990
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Dec 07, 2018 10:52 am

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by Msmd1990 » Thu Jan 03, 2019 11:36 am

Sunnydaydream
Thanks for reply. It was my partner who was arrested I found the messages we weren’t together and I reported them. He was let go pending further investigation, he isn’t allowed home and only my parents can supervise his contact. They say I can’t see the risk so unsure if I’m a protective factor and think I’m in denial and that he has also groomed me! There has been a lot of domestic violence so I’m glad they have taken the decision away from me to now allow him back as he is angry at them for it and not me. I just don’t see why they are still involved as they say they have no problem with me and how I look after the kids just him but he isn’t here so makes no sense?

Seadog01274
Posts: 64
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: My husband downloaded indecent images

Post by Seadog01274 » Sun Jan 06, 2019 8:32 pm

Hi everyone. We’re not much further on, my daughter is still on a child in need plan. My husband still isn’t allowed any contact with my little girl. We’ve been living apart for almost 8 months now. We’re still waiting for a court date. Everything is such a slow process I don’t know how I’ve made it this far. Every day is a struggle! Xxx

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