Need reassurance!!
Posted: Wed May 02, 2018 10:59 am
In January whilst completing my separation and waiting for my marital home to sell I met and fell in love with a man on probation. He has been to prison a couple of times for gbh, pub fights, but the last one got him 8 years when he bottled someone. He’s done the courses and worked really hard in prison. I believe he’s rehibilitated and he wants a simple life.
I have two girls ages 8 and 4 and at the beginning of April we moved in to our own home and I separated from their dad, he is a police officer and we met when I worked for police in the control room.
As part of my new partners probation terms he needs to request permission to stay over which he did through his officer.
Last Thursday I had a call from Child Services as I had expected as his probation officer said it was her duty to inform them. I’d imagined this was going to be a supportive call which advise etc. The social worker came down quite hard on me in the phone call making demands of me, they want to contact their dad, the school, the gp. So I naturally asked for a meeting at their offices the next day to establish what their intentions were.
A senior social worker joined us in the meeting and half way through informed me that they had information on my new partner that wasn’t in relation to his convictions but they recommended that I don’t leave my girls unsupervised with him. They also said that the information was with their legal team because it’s a grey area and highly irregular situation and my partner nor his probabtion officer would be aware of it.
I have withdrawn contact between my children and my partner completely but he is devastated. He has no idea what they’re referring to and he’s called them and they won’t tell him. He said hes always admitted when he done wrong and paid the price but he can’t defend himself when he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong.
I’m so torn. I have a social worker coming today to start their assessment of me but I’m finding it so cruel that they would dangle this information to scare me and leave it like that.
We have gone through every possible scenario over the phone, questioning in our heads if our children have said something but their cloak and daggers attitude doesn’t add up. We’ve wondered if they’ve seen something in his medical records. Quite honestly it’s made my stress levels reach levels I never knew possible.
Is this a usual social worker tactic?? Do they try and scare you off for an easy job? Do I have entitlement to that information? Does my partner under the freedom of information?? (He mentioned that to them and they said not if it affects a child?)
So so confused and worried!!
I have two girls ages 8 and 4 and at the beginning of April we moved in to our own home and I separated from their dad, he is a police officer and we met when I worked for police in the control room.
As part of my new partners probation terms he needs to request permission to stay over which he did through his officer.
Last Thursday I had a call from Child Services as I had expected as his probation officer said it was her duty to inform them. I’d imagined this was going to be a supportive call which advise etc. The social worker came down quite hard on me in the phone call making demands of me, they want to contact their dad, the school, the gp. So I naturally asked for a meeting at their offices the next day to establish what their intentions were.
A senior social worker joined us in the meeting and half way through informed me that they had information on my new partner that wasn’t in relation to his convictions but they recommended that I don’t leave my girls unsupervised with him. They also said that the information was with their legal team because it’s a grey area and highly irregular situation and my partner nor his probabtion officer would be aware of it.
I have withdrawn contact between my children and my partner completely but he is devastated. He has no idea what they’re referring to and he’s called them and they won’t tell him. He said hes always admitted when he done wrong and paid the price but he can’t defend himself when he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong.
I’m so torn. I have a social worker coming today to start their assessment of me but I’m finding it so cruel that they would dangle this information to scare me and leave it like that.
We have gone through every possible scenario over the phone, questioning in our heads if our children have said something but their cloak and daggers attitude doesn’t add up. We’ve wondered if they’ve seen something in his medical records. Quite honestly it’s made my stress levels reach levels I never knew possible.
Is this a usual social worker tactic?? Do they try and scare you off for an easy job? Do I have entitlement to that information? Does my partner under the freedom of information?? (He mentioned that to them and they said not if it affects a child?)
So so confused and worried!!