Need reassurance!!

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Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Apr 28, 2018 9:00 am

Need reassurance!!

Post by eawclw » Wed May 02, 2018 10:59 am

In January whilst completing my separation and waiting for my marital home to sell I met and fell in love with a man on probation. He has been to prison a couple of times for gbh, pub fights, but the last one got him 8 years when he bottled someone. He’s done the courses and worked really hard in prison. I believe he’s rehibilitated and he wants a simple life.
I have two girls ages 8 and 4 and at the beginning of April we moved in to our own home and I separated from their dad, he is a police officer and we met when I worked for police in the control room.
As part of my new partners probation terms he needs to request permission to stay over which he did through his officer.
Last Thursday I had a call from Child Services as I had expected as his probation officer said it was her duty to inform them. I’d imagined this was going to be a supportive call which advise etc. The social worker came down quite hard on me in the phone call making demands of me, they want to contact their dad, the school, the gp. So I naturally asked for a meeting at their offices the next day to establish what their intentions were.
A senior social worker joined us in the meeting and half way through informed me that they had information on my new partner that wasn’t in relation to his convictions but they recommended that I don’t leave my girls unsupervised with him. They also said that the information was with their legal team because it’s a grey area and highly irregular situation and my partner nor his probabtion officer would be aware of it.
I have withdrawn contact between my children and my partner completely but he is devastated. He has no idea what they’re referring to and he’s called them and they won’t tell him. He said hes always admitted when he done wrong and paid the price but he can’t defend himself when he doesn’t know what he’s done wrong.
I’m so torn. I have a social worker coming today to start their assessment of me but I’m finding it so cruel that they would dangle this information to scare me and leave it like that.
We have gone through every possible scenario over the phone, questioning in our heads if our children have said something but their cloak and daggers attitude doesn’t add up. We’ve wondered if they’ve seen something in his medical records. Quite honestly it’s made my stress levels reach levels I never knew possible.
Is this a usual social worker tactic?? Do they try and scare you off for an easy job? Do I have entitlement to that information? Does my partner under the freedom of information?? (He mentioned that to them and they said not if it affects a child?)
So so confused and worried!!

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Need reassurance!!

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue May 08, 2018 10:26 am

Dear eawclw

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board.

I am sorry to see that you are having a very difficult time with children’s services at the moment because you have been asked not to allow contact between your daughters and your partner but have been given no specific reason why you have been asked to do this.

To answer your question, it is unusual for a parent not to be given some information about the concerns children’s services have and why they are taking a particular course of action. The guidance requires social workers to be transparent in their work with families. Please read our advice sheet about what happens when children’s services receive a referral An introductory guide to Children’s Services.

It is possible that information has come to light about something in your partner’s past for which he was not charged but it remains noted on his records. You could ask your partner if he accepted a caution for anything or was questioned by police about any offence but they took no further action. You could make a request under Sarah’s law and or Claire's law to the police about your partner which might give you some idea of the concerns children's services have about him.

You say the social worker has asked to make enquiries of your children’s school, GP and others. This suggests that the plan is for an assessment to be carried out. The social worker should explain the assessment or investigation is to be done. I think it might be helpful if you put in writing to the social worker and the team manager a request for an explanation of the concerns they have and what action they plan to take. Ask for a written response.

Our advice sheets relating to Child protection proceduresand child in need Family supportwhich will provide more information for you.

Children’s services appear to have concerns for your children and the possible risk your partner might pose which is why they are seeking legal advice. You could seek advice from a solicitor who would be able to contact the legal department to get more information for you.

There are some situations where children’s services do not have to disclose information but this is where information has come from a professional and there are safeguarding issues for a child. You can get more information about this from the Information Commissioners Office, their telephone number is 0303 123 1113.

You may wish to speak to an adviser on our advice line 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


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